Helping Others. Selfish or Self-less? Right or Wrong?

[User1234]

I have been struggling with this for a while and have googled many answers and videos but only a few are based on what Christians should believe / what the Bible says, if it does.

My question is basically in the title.

1. Is it okay to feel good after helping others.

2. Is it okay to help others because it feels good.

As sinful human beings from what I understand and what I feel, we want to feel good, or happy.

If 1 is okay what is "stopping" someone from wanting that feeling back again.

I am just struggling with this, cause if I don't help with something / or help someone that needs help, but am doing so cause I feel I need to turn away from selfish desires of happiness/compassion, who is going to help them then?

I hope what I say makes sense. If not please allow me to clarify.


Thanks.

 

[Magenta]

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Jesus laid down His life for us for the joy that was set before Him

 

[Kaycie]

God gave us a conscience- we feel bad when we do wrong, and we feel good when we do right. There is no drug in this world that can make you happier than doing what's right, because happiness without guilt is joy- which is one of the fruits of the Spirit. It is ok to feel good about helping others, but it is not ok to boast or brag about it, or to do it with the intention of being seen or praised by others. Give God all the glory, but indeed feel good that you have chosen to be on God's side and to do what's right.

 

[Ugly]

I like to help people, both because i know it's good for another, and also because i enjoy it. I don't think it's wrong to feel good about it. But how often are you willing to help when you get nothing out of it?
I tend to offer a lot of advice on here. Often people don't like it, or how i present it. So i don't always get that 'good feelings' yet i still continue. One friend in particular i have been helping lately, though i frequently am not getting much of anything in return from them, i help because i care.
So the real issue isn't whether you feel good or not, it's really about if you ever help when you get nothing at all, even good feelings, out of it.

 

[TheHeroJourney]

I have been struggling with this for a while and have googled many answers and videos but only a few are based on what Christians should believe / what the Bible says, if it does.

My question is basically in the title.

1. Is it okay to feel good after helping others.

2. Is it okay to help others because it feels good.

As sinful human beings from what I understand and what I feel, we want to feel good, or happy.

If 1 is okay what is "stopping" someone from wanting that feeling back again.

I am just struggling with this, cause if I don't help with something / or help someone that needs help, but am doing so cause I feel I need to turn away from selfish desires of happiness/compassion, who is going to help them then?

I hope what I say makes sense. If not please allow me to clarify.


Thanks.

For this, I will make, "helping others" as generic as possible. Could be anything from helping someone cross the street, to getting someone out of a burning building.

I suppose the answer lies in why you do it.

Being creatures granted free will, we do not have to do these things. They are left to choice.

If you do it to feel good, then that would be a selfish reason.
If you do it because you expect something in return (be it a "Thank you" or to expect similar actions to be done to you should you need them in the future), would be as well.

From my limited understanding of the Christian viewpoint, charity is done out of duty, because it is an expected behavior. Good people help other people. I believe this would fall under the second for, "Something in return." What is the ultimate reward for doing good?

Provided that you are doing good, and as another said, not boasting about it, does it matter whether it is selfish or not? You are going to feel something from everything you do. Many of these feelings you cannot control. Why should you be punished for performing the duty you accepted to undertake, simply because you feel good about doing so?

 

[Ugly]

For this, I will make, "helping others" as generic as possible. Could be anything from helping someone cross the street, to getting someone out of a burning building.

I suppose the answer lies in why you do it.

Being creatures granted free will, we do not have to do these things. They are left to choice.

If you do it to feel good, then that would be a selfish reason.
If you do it because you expect something in return (be it a "Thank you" or to expect similar actions to be done to you should you need them in the future), would be as well.

From my limited understanding of the Christian viewpoint, charity is done out of duty, because it is an expected behavior. Good people help other people. I believe this would fall under the second for, "Something in return." What is the ultimate reward for doing good?

Provided that you are doing good, and as another said, not boasting about it, does it matter whether it is selfish or not? You are going to feel something from everything you do. Many of these feelings you cannot control. Why should you be punished for performing the duty you accepted to undertake, simply because you feel good about doing so?

I might suggest if your understanding of Christianity is limited, as it does seem to be, it may not be best to speak to what it means to be Christian, on any level. Your wrong advice could confuse people coming here expecting actual Christian advice.

Doing good as a Christian is not a 'duty' but should be a Desire, a natural result of the change within a person. People who do good out of 'duty' are being religious and their heart and intent is not a righteous one. Granted it can be easy to get caught up in other thinking, such as 'duty', that doesn't make it representative of what a Christian Should be doing, but rather on how easy it is to slip into wrong thinking. God wants people to be 'cheerful givers', meaning doing so out of a desire and willingness, not a duty. It is humans that make it a religious duty.

It is very hard to be completely selfless when helping another. When we do good, and put any expectation on the other person, then it is not truly selfless. But selflessness is a condition we try for.

And i saw nothing about being punished. So not sure where that even came from.

The ultimate example of selfless giving was Christ's example on the cross. A brutal and violent torture, then painful death, to give a gift to people, most of whom won't take it, many who do take it never fully appreciate it, None of us Deserve it and Christ got nothing in return.
We do not live in a perfect world. If we did, this would not even be a question. But as it stands we are imperfect people.

The Ultimate 'reward' for doing good Should be the satisfaction that you know you did what was right. Not for thanks, or attention or to feel good or to be noticed. This is rarely the case, but it's a goal to work towards.

 

[Tinkerbell725]

It is the will of the Lord for us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. If you have a hidden agenda it's not loving people but using them. Its natural to feel good because love feels good, it gives you purpose and satisfaction. But their is such thing called tough love when you have to stop helping people that you love so they can learn to help themselves and not rely on you all the time or abuse you. A helping hand is always a blessing to others but you can only do so much. Sometimes you have to say no also depending on the situation.

 

[HeRoseFromTheDead]

Nothing wrong with doing good. Just pray to GOD that he will reveal to your heart if there is some unloving motive involved.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control. Against such things [there] is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

And do not neglect doing good and generosity, for God is well pleased with such sacrifices. Hebrews 13:16​

 

[TheHeroJourney]

I might suggest if your understanding of Christianity is limited, as it does seem to be, it may not be best to speak to what it means to be Christian, on any level. Your wrong advice could confuse people coming here expecting actual Christian advice.

Doing good as a Christian is not a 'duty' but should be a Desire, a natural result of the change within a person. People who do good out of 'duty' are being religious and their heart and intent is not a righteous one. Granted it can be easy to get caught up in other thinking, such as 'duty', that doesn't make it representative of what a Christian Should be doing, but rather on how easy it is to slip into wrong thinking. God wants people to be 'cheerful givers', meaning doing so out of a desire and willingness, not a duty. It is humans that make it a religious duty.

It is very hard to be completely selfless when helping another. When we do good, and put any expectation on the other person, then it is not truly selfless. But selflessness is a condition we try for.

And i saw nothing about being punished. So not sure where that even came from.

The ultimate example of selfless giving was Christ's example on the cross. A brutal and violent torture, then painful death, to give a gift to people, most of whom won't take it, many who do take it never fully appreciate it, None of us Deserve it and Christ got nothing in return.
We do not live in a perfect world. If we did, this would not even be a question. But as it stands we are imperfect people.

The Ultimate 'reward' for doing good Should be the satisfaction that you know you did what was right. Not for thanks, or attention or to feel good or to be noticed. This is rarely the case, but it's a goal to work towards.

That is why I provided the disclaimer. But how am I to learn if I do not take part in the discussion as well?

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A duty is a moral (or legal) obligation. A responsibility. Are good deeds not a prerequisite? If God desires us to be cheerful givers, then is it not our duty to meet that expectation?[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Poor choice of words on my end. I meant that one should not feel guilty over feeling good for doing good.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]My point was that since we are not Christ, we cannot be truly selfless. Selflessness is unattainable, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't strive for as close to it as we can. The reward is anything positive in our favor. The satisfaction of knowing we did the right thing is a consequence we should expect from the beginning when making the choice.[/FONT]

 

[FreeNChrist]

I have been struggling with this for a while and have googled many answers and videos but only a few are based on what Christians should believe / what the Bible says, if it does.

My question is basically in the title.

1. Is it okay to feel good after helping others.

2. Is it okay to help others because it feels good.

As sinful human beings from what I understand and what I feel, we want to feel good, or happy.

If 1 is okay what is "stopping" someone from wanting that feeling back again.

I am just struggling with this, cause if I don't help with something / or help someone that needs help, but am doing so cause I feel I need to turn away from selfish desires of happiness/compassion, who is going to help them then?

I hope what I say makes sense. If not please allow me to clarify.


Thanks.

Yes, it's okay.

 

[coby]

I have been struggling with this for a while and have googled many answers and videos but only a few are based on what Christians should believe / what the Bible says, if it does.

My question is basically in the title.

1. Is it okay to feel good after helping others.

2. Is it okay to help others because it feels good.

As sinful human beings from what I understand and what I feel, we want to feel good, or happy.

If 1 is okay what is "stopping" someone from wanting that feeling back again.

I am just struggling with this, cause if I don't help with something / or help someone that needs help, but am doing so cause I feel I need to turn away from selfish desires of happiness/compassion, who is going to help them then?

I hope what I say makes sense. If not please allow me to clarify.


Thanks.

It's good. Love your neighbour as yourself. I think if you help others a lot of times you help yourself too. That's good. One guy on a forum always helped everyone, homeless people, everyone, he used to preach. Then he lost his job and almost was homeless and he said there was noone. He was depressed and he really wanted to end it. That was the only post he made. I'm ready to meet my Maker. My. And I was on that stupid forum just babbling random nonsense out of boredom and addiction and I was one of the few there at the moment and could help him. That was so awesome. Still have him as a Facebook friend. Had the whole Dutch prayer team praying for him. I said if noone wants to take you in their house you can always fly to Holland and stay here. We'll pay the ticket. I had no idea what to say. Turned out to be a young guy, he could simply live with his parents. He just needed someone then. That's just awesome if you can help someone.