Hey! 🤠

[jbrooks5912]

This week coming i am making doctor appointments.

They want to run a scope thru my mouth and all. Plus they going to do genetic testings.

My insurrance finally kicked in i got Blue cross blue shield from work.

Plus i get two paid vacation days. So i will use them just for that.

I wont discuss too much here because yesh. Anyway the disorder my mom had was not a good one.

Today my stumach was ok, but tonight not so much.

Imma just maybe see if i can find a soup to eat and watch a movie.

Its time to unwind and take a moment and reflect.

Prayer will be said God has been with me this long and He will be with me thriugh it all and i know you all will too.

I put on a brave face like mom did, she was a trooper. The thing with HHT is yes u can have a full life.

And since this issue began that is what i been trying to do. But u never know kaybe it reqlly is nothing after all?

Its very possible because ky best friend said his dad and brothet have some same aynptoms and all.

Other than that i feel fantastic just a little tired. But i can manage.

I hafta admit i did something stupid. I should have not left home.

At times i grt bound and detetmjned lol

Thats hardheadedness but u know mom always done what she had to to feel good.

So now im fallowing in her steps.

She instilled so much into her six kids that nothing we can or do makes anything less managable.

She held love like she held truth. She believed in God were one of my sisters like buddha lol.

I love my sister we always get into discussions but i always say lets just change the subject ok? Its not worth it.

I try to be kind and at times i just want to walk miles.

Walking is my antidepressant. It is also a way to think and manage my emotions.

It is all i ever known.

I have always said ky family is in Heaven only but i am wrong my family is on earth also and u all are it.

Even the people at work are my family. When i have a down day they all come to talk to me as i woupd them.

Its a bond that makes a family. Yes i may take things wrong at tjmes but i mean no harm in it.

We all are in different parts of the world.

So i give a huge apologee to those i may have ofended and taken wrong.

That is not me, i am full of love and life. Its nothing personal and i love every single one of u like my own family 😭.

Im fine its just i want to do the right thing ya know? Sometimes i take it out of context and too far without meaning to.

Thats me being human lol

But this is me being real, i have acted in some ways that were very unrealistic such as takkng things wrong.

And i feel i owe these people an apologee because when i read something or a responce u know? Its online and its easily to be taken wrong.

We all do it, its who we are.

The thing about my singles post i took out of context a little i thaught different and he set me right by saying he was only agreeing.

Yes we had our differences but who dont right? It dont mean i dont love him like a brother any less.

Yes before we had our little issue, mainly from my end but ya know its life lol

But i owe him the apologee tge most.
I have no problem with anyone here what so ever.

I say God loves u and ao do I and i hold that to heart. Its because i do love u all as my family.

We will have heated discussions and all i mean what family dont right?

No one is perfect, sometimes people hafta read between the lines and at times i need to as well.

Love should never be taken for granted brothers and sisters. No matter if it is a friendship or a relationship.

It is all about that profound respect u have for someone that makes life more enjoyable.

The chaplain at work he and i are good friends. We talk at times and i have full respect for him.

Lol ok i rambled enough time for my movie 🙃😁🤠

 

[jbrooks5912]

Ehat i mean by doing somethkng stupid is this, i was staggering not by alcahol i dont do that much.

But by tiredness and feeling drained.

So to be better imma focus on my body more and see where and what needs to be done.

God Bless! 😁

 

[tourist]

My mom had 6 of us too. I am gaining a certain measure of insight from your posts about who you are and what you are about It's all been positive. Thank you for sharing snippets that reveal your thought process. It's a fascinating study.

 

[jbrooks5912]

God Bless u my friend.

 

[jbrooks5912]

mom always said she wont be no genui pig lol

She was an amazing woma. My grandmother was too

When gmaw had an issue she said Lord give me strength!'

I loved her and i still do. I do have good family members but then i have the off ones.

But i still love em even tho they may not like me for whatever reason i still love em ya know?

 

[jbrooks5912]

Ok yes i said i was going to bed. I even fell asleep a couple times but this must be said because it was spoken to my heart. I am in no way at a joking point i am in a serious notion.

Before i post this remember yea everything i say, feel, and do is true.

Everything i post is ftom God the devotionals and deep emotions. Aome of it is me but God is working in me you know?

So, i will post this then go back to sleep becausr it got my attention so clearly i want to share it.

I did not lie about relaxing i put my phone down then i started writting an email that email is only meant for one person so i wont discuss it.

Thats not my revelation, but this is.

This is all about my health, and my trial.

I am going thru what i am going thru for a reason. A lesson is always there waiting. I do not know what it is but its somethkng. Many say its crazy to think of life as a test.





But in many ways some get tested all their lives that way they find their way to that open door to happiness.





I am going thru what i am going thru to appreshiate life more abundantly.


Meaning my health.

Yes im ok but not but i am if that makes sense.

God has been prepairing me for service. I accept it, He has also been working ob my life by how i dealt with things.

Love is one of them. I used to think no one loves me, i used to push away and used to ignore love because honestly the only time i heared i love you and it was genuine was from my gmaw.

The last few years i been appreshiatinf what love really is. So i been dealt with and tried on various levels.

I stayed single for a reason. All that bout at work? Is all wrong i can not be unequally yoked.

To be equallly yoked is to have a relationship with someone who believes in God. Who acvepts u just the way u r even if u do have flaws.

These levels indicated that yes i lived life wrong. But in all honesty i loved wrong.

I talk the truth because i believe in it.

The way i speak on here is really how i view life. And love has always been wonderful even when my decisions were horrible.

Meaning my choice in love. However i went thru these trials to be who i am now and the ay i wqs treated as a kid and the love my sister and mom put in me is the way God was telling me i am shaping and molding u into the man u always prayed to me to make u to be!

I do not change my mind about the person i emailed before i posted this. Taking it by steps is the way to go.

Sorry for rambling but my revelation wqs meant to be shared because when something wakes u up and hits u like that bolt of lightening u want people to know.

Ok family time to go back to sleep lol The Holy Spirit is awesome and all i can do is smile.

🤠