Hi I have a problem

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

tjogs

Senior Member
Jun 28, 2009
323
18
18
#21
There's been many advises already but I felt that if this one is said then I at least missed it totally before.
"Be example"
And yes I know people here said that you should take distance to the girl. What it really sounds to me too is that there is now messing certain other than God with you who you have thought being God.
So what can we do about this or what I would do if I were you?
I would try if possible to turn devil's weapons against him and for the glorify to God.
But I warn you, it won't be easy.

- First: Secure your own ground. You are in a fight even you may not known it and your concern means you are losing that fight.
This may be a bit hard but read and study Eph 6 : 10-18
In short that means that you MUST know God. Trough his word evaluate everything and I mean EVERYTHING you have and have gotten. Keep what is good and discard all the rest what don't mach with his word.
Take Jesus as your image and everything what you do think first, "How Jesus would do in this situation?"
Be the Man what God meant you to be.
Be warned however that in the situation at hand every right thing you do will most likely blast your face full of negative things. Things to make you doubt your choices etc. If or when this happen know that you're on right track. If your girlfriend wanna break up because you are changed, let her go. Your personal relation and trust to God is most important at this point. Get yourself daily spiritual routines (or refine your current ones) and don't forget church also. This phase will take time and I strongly suggest you not to have haste with it.

- Second: Take no haste with this one and only go here when it cannot be avoided. Face your girlfriend.
Freely translated from Finnish bible: "what good will it bring if we win ourselves the whole world but lose our soul in the process?"
If your girlfriend is still with you bring the topic to her. You both must live as God guides in his word. (no pre marriage sex, fortune cookies etc)
If she's not familiar with the word introduce it to her. Take her to church activities as well as your daily prayer bible study etc routines. If she sticks keep going, if she leaves let her go.
Remember This is her choice first to God and then after him to you.

Finally: You have brothers and sisters in church who can and will pray for you. don't hesitate to ask help when needed. Don't look down advises (as long as they are one with Bible) no matter how hard they may sound.

Your best outcome is Spiritually strong stable family who relies in everything to God. But if your girlfriend turns away from this It's her choice what everyone should respect.
 

Leastamongmany

Well-known member
Jun 2, 2019
3,270
1,269
113
Usa
#22
Welcome and Blessings!Prayers offered on your behalf to find your way with God!🙏
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
24,167
12,763
113
#23
What would you do in my situation?
Hi, so I'm a man 32 years old living in North carolina in USA. I am currently living with my girlfriend and her two children. We recently moved in together and are creating a happy home together. We plan to get married when we have the money and if given the chance I will adopt her children as my own.
It does not cost much to get married (leaving aside a big wedding ceremony). In fact a civil ceremony is always an option.
We've not been dating that long but we took the leap to start living together because it worked better because I work 12 hour shifts at night and she works 9 to 5 daily and some at night as well.
That “leap” of living together was a serious mistake, since you have a relationship with Christ.
We both work a lot but we like to spend some if not all of my days off together since she has an easier schedule than mine. I love her and her children as well. We have plans to make more children when we have more money and room. Things are special to me about this relationship because this is a relationship promised to me by God.
Are you sure? God hates lying and your partner is a liar. Self-delusion is never a good idea.
Truthfully my life has been a little rough, I'm sure there are people who have had a rougher life but mine for me has been hard and painful. I have been faithful to my lord the entire time and have sought his council whenever I felt unsure or too sure as to what to do. I have always tried to do the right thing whenever possible and converse with my lord daily. He sometimes gives me tasks to do and I do my best to do them without hesitation. Recently he had me forgive my father and apologize for the angry words I spoke to him. Despite the fact that there is still hurt that my dad left in my heart that I will never get rid of I push to create new ground regardless of my feelings to start a better relationship because it is my lord's will.
This is good, but now you created a problem for yourself as noted below.
I told you that to tell you this, I love my girlfriend very much but she worries me sometimes. We have only been together a month or two and probably the only reason I moved in with her is because the lord told me to. I do love her and her children very much but honestly if it had been just me and her that decided to move in together I would not have done it because we haven't known each other very long. If that had been the case I doubt our relationship would have gone much farther as we wouldn't have had much time to spend together; also I may have gotten a different job and moved causing us to break-up out of circumstance.
You already see that you created a problem for yourself. And every problem has a solution, if you are willing to pay the price.
So this is a relationship partly of the lord's making.
After what you have said above, this is merely self-delusion. It is better to wake up to reality at this point. The fact that you posted this shows that you are not too happy about this decision of yours.
I have no real problems with her or her kids. In fact we did actually make love just a couple days ago. My problem is that she actually lied to me, she told me that a friend she spent a lot of time with was gay. He's bisexual. The truth is they used to date and she still hangs out with him now and then. She told me this cuz she said I get jealous and that I would forbid her from going to see him.
Are you sure that you have not been manipulated into this relationship by a woman who wants to play around?
We had a big fight before she got to explain because the thought of someone I love lying to me destroyed me.
Now you have to deal with a serious issue. Is this woman saved or not? If you are a Christian and she is a manipulator you have a built-in conflict. Since you have not gone through with marriage, then it is time to call it quits and move on.
I also suspected this due to clues that had been showing up via her and her children. Now she explained that she doesn't want to be with him anymore because he doesn't really care that much about her and would love his child more than hers.
Just because she does not want to be with him does not mean that she cares about you. It is time to politely and firmly bow out of this relationship.
 
7

7seasrekeyed

Guest
#25
Ya'all may as well save your comments. This guy posted twice on July 6th and hasn't been back. It looks like you drove him away. :cry:

frankly, I suspect he was looking for confirmation rather than correction

since he didn't get that, he may have bought some more fortune cookies :rolleyes:

half the time when people write these impossible posts they already know what is right but still try to ease their conscience with others...might sometimes amount to a confession actually

people in general have a hard time being honest with themselves
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#26
Ya'all may as well save your comments. This guy posted twice on July 6th and hasn't been back. It looks like you drove him away. :cry:

The truth is the truth and in the long run it would have saved the OP the heartache later on. You can't hold with someone who says God told them to sin.
 

Krumbeard

Well-known member
Apr 15, 2019
1,097
730
113
#27
The truth is the truth and in the long run it would have saved the OP the heartache later on. You can't hold with someone who says God told them to sin.
Hopefully this was a seed planted.
 

NotmebutHim

Senior Member
May 17, 2015
2,916
1,588
113
47
#28
frankly, I suspect he was looking for confirmation rather than correction

since he didn't get that, he may have bought some more fortune cookies :rolleyes:

half the time when people write these impossible posts they already know what is right but still try to ease their conscience with others...might sometimes amount to a confession actually

people in general have a hard time being honest with themselves
The wall(s) of text and lack of good sentence structure was kind of a giveaway, too.

"Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren." - James 1:13-16
 
7

7seasrekeyed

Guest
#30
The wall(s) of text and lack of good sentence structure was kind of a giveaway, too.

"Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren." - James 1:13-16

not following????? :unsure: :geek:
 

NotmebutHim

Senior Member
May 17, 2015
2,916
1,588
113
47
#31
I think I was trying to say that it appears that the OP is being tempted to do the things he's doing and trying to convince himself that it's the Lord's will. When in fact it's his own desires which are driving him.
 
7

7seasrekeyed

Guest
#32
I think I was trying to say that it appears that the OP is being tempted to do the things he's doing and trying to convince himself that it's the Lord's will. When in fact it's his own desires which are driving him.

absolutely

thanks for explaining
 

Silverwings

Senior Member
Jul 27, 2016
1,368
495
83
#33
THE LORD DID NOT TELL YOU TO MOVE IN WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND, YOU ARE SADLY MISTAKEN, HE WOULD NEVER TELL ANYONE THIS, IT IS AGAINST WHO HE IS, LIVING TOGETHER WITHOUT MARRIAGE, IS CALLED FORNICATION, OF WHICH HE CALLS SIN. SORRY , YOU NEED TO RETHINK THIS, AND EXAMINE WHAT YOU ARE HEARING.