G
grahamnewman
Guest
heya doin, here's my short testimony. first drink at 15, first drug "xtc", at 17, first daughter summer at 21, her mother broke up with me as i was a musician who drank all his payment money, i was an alcoholic but did not realise it cause no one told me, but i was a Loving Father, i loved my daughter, just drink was a curse, so the devil used drink to posses me & lie to me & distort my view of people. i was paranoid. all through my twenties it was just drug fuelled music sessions, amazing times, if i wasnt such a loser failure irresponsible ****** . but i know now, i took all those drugs & drank all that drink cause i was too sensetive for this Chaotic world & i wanted to find God & i almost did because i had so many out of Body euphoric experiences on Drugs, but they were the wrong kind of experiences & Spirits, i thought it was God, but it was the Devil pretending to be God. i started gettin ill when i was early 20s also, so that scared me & did not want to deal with physical degeneration so kept getting high. 2nd daughter was born when i was 27, she was born with cognitive delay & special needs. She was gorgeous, both my daughters are Gorgeous, you should see them, Wow x , but i had a nervous breakdown 6 months after my daughter was born cause i thought it was my fault she was disabled, i didnt care about her disability or what people might think, i cared that she had very little muscle tone & i wanted to give her my muscle & i wanted it to be me who could not use my arms & walk, so i flipped, i went CRAZY. i also got very ill & my muscle tone started disapearing, doctors could not find it, so psychs were called in, they diagnosed me a hypocondriac, so then i went really REALLY crazy, then i ended up in a shelter cause everyone i loved could not handle what was happenin to me, then i ended up drinkin heavy after bein sober for almost 2 years, then when i was sleepin on the streets i started smoking heroin, cause when i tried it one night while drinkin, EVERYTHING of a pain nature disapeared, emotional pain, physical pain, etc. i was an addict 3 times for 3-6 month periods, i got involved in an armed robbery i was so out of my mind. 5 years previous i was a successful musician ! how could that make sense ? then i went to prison, i was prayin to Jesus sleepin on the Streets, & in prison met a woman of God, talked to her, God start puttin different people in my life, hinting to me that Jesus really was alive & Real, then i went to AA wen i got out of prison & was homeless for a while again, then the Holy Spirit exploded into me before i was even Baptised, & i was confronted by him. i could not deny anymore, i gave my life to Jesus last september when i was a very good hearted damaged traumatised young man who turned into a drunk & drug addict & a scumbag from too much trauma. Now im 8 months saved,I dont drink,I dont do drugs,I go to fellowship meetins & sing for gods glory with my guitar, have great Christian friends, health is gettin better, trusting God more & more, letting go of more & more each day, i trust God to bring my daughters back to me, only he know's how big the hole is in my heart that my daughters used to fill with they're Love, but he fill's that Hole & sustain's that part of me until he will rejoin us together because he is such a loving merciful compassionate sensitive God. i Trust Him, it's been miracle after miracle after miracle. im NEVER EVER Going back to Dance with the Devil, he's a waster that destroy's God's unique creations. Praise our Father God Almighty, Praise our Lord & Saviour Jesus Christ and praise the Holy Spirit. I am a walking miracle, so i know God is going to use me for "His Glory" , cause i "Should definatley be Dead & in Hell, but im Sober and i have Freedom under his Amazing Grace. Oh how Beautiful & Merciful he truely is. praise Jesus, Use me for your Kingdom's Glory Father. Thank you Father God Almighty Y,A,W,E,H, in Jesus's Name, Amen.
