Hi! New here & not sure where to start.

[Marcelo]

..... But shielding myself from negative people? I don't know how or if I should do that. Like I said, these people are my church family, my blood and married family. And they aren't meaning to be negative. They just truly don't understand.....

I suggested shielding yourself from negative influences, not from negative people.

Look:

Marcelo said: So they create a negative atmosphere around you! The following is easier said than done, but you have to shield yourself from those negative influences.

 

[bobinfaith]

Hello Meningone;

I want to thank God for the outpouring welcome to you. I'm also joining everyone in prayer for you.

God bless you, Meningone, and your family.

 

[Journeyman]

Hey Meningone. Will keep you in my prayers.

 

[Deade]

Hello Meningone, welcome to Christian Chat. I hope you'll enjoy your stay here.

 

[Meningone]

I just wanted to say thank you all for your warm welcome and prayers. I'm not feeling so good today. Nothing unusual. It's just because of the really cold tems I think. Wishing everyone a peaceful night & blessed day tomorrow. Maybe I can share a little with some of you then.

 

[Milee777]

WELCOME!

 

[LetThereBePeasOnEarth]

Up until April my life was full of work, homelife, and lots of outside activities. Wow, that changed in a matter of hours. In the middle of the night I woke up with a blinding headache, and after 2 days of misdiagnosis, on the 3rd trip to the ER they confirmed I had bacterial meningitis. I had heard of it, but didn't know alot about it. I just thought, "OK, get rid of this pain, get me some antibiotics & get me back home and back to work." BIG NO! Did not work out that way. I am blessed that I lived through it. I am blessed that I didn't go septic and lose limbs/extremities, eyesight, hearing, organ failure. But I have been left with invisible disabilities that are really getting me down. Constant headaches, neck and spine pain, muscle pain, memory loss. Any activity or stress worsens the symptoms. I can't work or enjoy the activities I use to be able to do. I can't enjoy social gatherings. Noone understands. They want me to be the old me and get aggrevated with me. Especially my family. I've always been the strong one. The one that took care of everything. Now I just can't. My love for and faith in God helps me tremendously, but I find myself getting sadder and angrier at the people around me more lately, and not knowing where or what to do from here.

Hello Meningone, welcome to CChat! I'm so sorry for all that you've been through-- and still go through because of it. I'm sorry that your family doesn't understand and that they are not supportive of you as you are having to relearn how to live your life-- according to your new physical situation. I hope (and will pray) that they will realize the seriousness of what you've been through and that they will come alongside you so that you don't feel so alone in going through this crazy and horribly difficult time. I am so thankful that you did live through it (which is a huge miracle of its own!) and that, even though you do have residual problems, things for you are not the worst that they could have been. I'm not saying that to make light of what you are feeling-- nor the physical issues you're dealing with now, BUT I know that it really does help to pick it apart and to try to find things to be encouraged by even when things are very heavy and dark overall. We have a lot of things in common, maybe we can talk again sometime. I'm into year 16 of adjusting to the kind of life changer that you shared. It has NOT been easy (as you already know it isn't ).. and it can still be difficult but your love for and faith in God WILL hold you through this (believe me, I KNOW it will!). And, for as stink as it is to have to go through it all, and for as much as it seems to be cutting off your life, it will actually also open your life and your way of thinking and seeing things, God, other people.. I think my most often repeated theme to my prayers has ended up being "please just make this all worth something, somehow". Anyway, I didn't mean to go on and on.. and I hope that it didn't come across as "oh yeah, me, too" in a way that feels like it's minimizing your situation or feelings (that was not at all my intention). I hope that it did help you to know that you aren't alone, and that you have a friend to talk to who has been in the same place (different details, of course) if you ever just want or need to talk. I'm glad that you found CChat and that you took the time to open up about yourself. Hang in there-- God kept you around for a reason!

 

[LetThereBePeasOnEarth]

Thank you. And I do keep my eyes on the Lord as much as possible. He is definately my strength, sustainer, and comforter. But the peope who say "You should be better by now", "You think it's bad now, wait tilyou're my age", "You're young, what pains could you have?", "I'm sick of you being sick", "If you didn't think about it so much, you wouldn't feel like this", "You need a new Dr.", "Just get up and get over it". These people are my church family, my husband, my children, my friends, the only people I have in my life that I love and cherish. They don't mean to be harmful, they just don't understand. And they do make me feel like it is my fault sometimes. But I have returned to work right after both c-sections, an appendectomy, an ankle broke in 3 places, 2 broke toes, bouts of bronchitis, gastroentitis, and other ailments. This one I would if I could, but I can't.

(((((((Meningone)))))) (that's an internet hug, just in case you didn't know). I have heard all of those same things-- even through the years after I withdrew from the people who said them. I know that there is an enemy of my (our!) soul who thrives on bringing accusations against me to try to tear me down and rip me apart.. and even to doubt God's presence or wisdom or work in my life. I do firmly believe that he can influence the words and thoughts that people have and express-- even Christians and family members and friends who love us and mean well. It's a huge battle-- one that feels impossible sometimes-- but it's so important to remind yourself of the truth of your situation-- yes, God is working in it, but you also know where you are at that point. Don't let others, nor the enemy-- bring you to a place where you doubt yourself (or your sanity). Hold onto what you know is true-- as well as to God's promise that He is with you and won't leave you.. and that He will be working for your good in your situation, even in spite of your struggles. Has anyone gone to your dr appts with you? If not it would be a really good thing to start with one person, maybe your husband or a sibling or a parent? or even a close friend--- and get them to take you to your appts and go in with you to see the dr so that they can hear what the dr says as well as ask questions and be exposed to your information so that it can help them to start thinking about and understanding what you are dealing with. Just a thought. Just keep holding on and looking for the good (and God's purpose) in each day. Sometimes, even though the pain and limitations parts of it stink, SOMETIMES I think that having to learn to live more slowly and more paced is actually a great blessing and helps us to live and see live in a completely different way.

 

[Meningone]

(((((((Meningone)))))) (that's an internet hug, just in case you didn't know). I have heard all of those same things-- even through the years after I withdrew from the people who said them. I know that there is an enemy of my (our!) soul who thrives on bringing accusations against me to try to tear me down and rip me apart.. and even to doubt God's presence or wisdom or work in my life. I do firmly believe that he can influence the words and thoughts that people have and express-- even Christians and family members and friends who love us and mean well. It's a huge battle-- one that feels impossible sometimes-- but it's so important to remind yourself of the truth of your situation-- yes, God is working in it, but you also know where you are at that point. Don't let others, nor the enemy-- bring you to a place where you doubt yourself (or your sanity). Hold onto what you know is true-- as well as to God's promise that He is with you and won't leave you.. and that He will be working for your good in your situation, even in spite of your struggles. Has anyone gone to your dr appts with you? If not it would be a really good thing to start with one person, maybe your husband or a sibling or a parent? or even a close friend--- and get them to take you to your appts and go in with you to see the dr so that they can hear what the dr says as well as ask questions and be exposed to your information so that it can help them to start thinking about and understanding what you are dealing with. Just a thought. Just keep holding on and looking for the good (and God's purpose) in each day. Sometimes, even though the pain and limitations parts of it stink, SOMETIMES I think that having to learn to live more slowly and more paced is actually a great blessing and helps us to live and see live in a completely different way.

(((((((Meningone)))))) (that's an internet hug, just in case you didn't know). I have heard all of those same things-- even through the years after I withdrew from the people who said them. I know that there is an enemy of my (our!) soul who thrives on bringing accusations against me to try to tear me down and rip me apart.. and even to doubt God's presence or wisdom or work in my life. I do firmly believe that he can influence the words and thoughts that people have and express-- even Christians and family members and friends who love us and mean well. It's a huge battle-- one that feels impossible sometimes-- but it's so important to remind yourself of the truth of your situation-- yes, God is working in it, but you also know where you are at that point. Don't let others, nor the enemy-- bring you to a place where you doubt yourself (or your sanity). Hold onto what you know is true-- as well as to God's promise that He is with you and won't leave you.. and that He will be working for your good in your situation, even in spite of your struggles. Has anyone gone to your dr appts with you? If not it would be a really good thing to start with one person, maybe your husband or a sibling or a parent? or even a close friend--- and get them to take you to your appts and go in with you to see the dr so that they can hear what the dr says as well as ask questions and be exposed to your information so that it can help them to start thinking about and understanding what you are dealing with. Just a thought. Just keep holding on and looking for the good (and God's purpose) in each day. Sometimes, even though the pain and limitations parts of it stink, SOMETIMES I think that having to learn to live more slowly and more paced is actually a great blessing and helps us to live and see live in a completely different way.

I know God is working for the good out of this situation. The hard part for me is I was soooo active before. Working every day, coming home and doing all the evening routine, weekends spent having fun with the granddaughters and/or out hiking, camping, swimming, spending time on and in the river, visiting State & Natl. parls, concerts, plays, other events I can't do/enjoy now. And I was the strong one that gave peope rides, advice, help in time of need, cleaning, errands, a shoulder to cry on, the "middle man" in disagreements or misunderstandings;confusion, helping people find assistance, just different things. It's a let down i think (though it's never been said) that I'm not doing that now. It's a let down to me that I can't enjoy my social, work, and outdoor activities though! Yes, I LOVE spending more time with God. But I don't like just sittingin the house and "rotting". I keep praying for God to reveal His purpose in this to me and where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Stripping me down some and humbling me (as I was a litte too independant and relied on myself a little too much) I knw is one part of it. Drawing closer toHim and trusting and relying on Him is part f it. But, as far as serving Him and others and hving some type of life, I don't have any of that right now. And as far as taking someone to the Dr. I have. The Dr.'s are not of any better help. They have very little understanding of the after effects of meningitis. Many don't even recognise it. I waited 6 months and "borrowed" $400 off my mom to drive 7 hrs to the best hospital in Virginia to see a neurologist (with my husband) who told me to forget my meningitis, it was in the past. That my headaches, neck/spine pain, muscle and body pain were due to lack of sleep because I won't let go of my past of thinking about meningitis. So, he gives me an antidepressant and sends me on my way. I have done enough research and am on 2 different meningitis forums to know that all of us survivers suffer almost these same side effects. I'm not the only one, and it's not in my head. Many of these people are still suffering 5, 10, 20 yrs later. Some have gotten better, some haven't. many have gotten a little better just with time. The brain has been inflammed and/or scarred from the bacteria, heat, and swelling. I know I have to keep seeing the Dr.'s because I need some kind of medical treatment to help deal with the pain or I wouldn't be able to even move around the house some days. But they sure disappoint me. I get alot of peace and comfort from God. But as for my family and church family, I don't know what to do anymore. If I smile and say all is well, I eventually feel alone and upset inside. If I try to express how I really feel, I get the unintended negative feedback which also causes frustration, hurt, and lonliness. There has to be some midde point I'm missing in this when relating to others?

 

[Deuteronomy]

Up until April my life was full of work, homelife, and lots of outside activities. Wow, that changed in a matter of hours. In the middle of the night I woke up with a blinding headache, and after 2 days of misdiagnosis, on the 3rd trip to the ER they confirmed I had bacterial meningitis. I had heard of it, but didn't know alot about it. I just thought, "OK, get rid of this pain, get me some antibiotics & get me back home and back to work." BIG NO! Did not work out that way. I am blessed that I lived through it. I am blessed that I didn't go septic and lose limbs/extremities, eyesight, hearing, organ failure. But I have been left with invisible disabilities that are really getting me down. Constant headaches, neck and spine pain, muscle pain, memory loss. Any activity or stress worsens the symptoms. I can't work or enjoy the activities I use to be able to do. I can't enjoy social gatherings. Noone understands. They want me to be the old me and get aggrevated with me. Especially my family. I've always been the strong one. The one that took care of everything. Now I just can't. My love for and faith in God helps me tremendously, but I find myself getting sadder and angrier at the people around me more lately, and not knowing where or what to do from here.

Hi Meningone, first off, welcome to CChat

That said, I'm ~very~ sorry to hear about the life-changing experience that you've had because of meningitis I can relate to what you are going through, a little bit anyway, because our now 20 yr old son contracted Lyme Disease a little over 5 years ago as a freshman in HS, and his life has all but been destroyed because of it (and he is not a Christian sadly).

Praying for you, especially that God will see you back to far better health than you have now, and that you will also see His promise in Romans 8:28 fulfilled in your life as well

God bless you! (Numbers 6:24-26)

~Deut

 

[Meningone]

Hi Meningone, first off, welcome to CChat

That said, I'm ~very~ sorry to hear about the life-changing experience that you've had because of meningitis I can relate to what you are going through, a little bit anyway, because our now 20 yr old son contracted Lyme Disease a little over 5 years ago as a freshman in HS, and his life has all but been destroyed because of it (and he is not a Christian sadly).

Praying for you, especially that God will see you back to far better health than you have now, and that you will also see His promise in Romans 8:28 fulfilled in your life as well

God bless you! (Numbers 6:24-26)

~Deut

Hi Meningone, first off, welcome to CChat

That said, I'm ~very~ sorry to hear about the life-changing experience that you've had because of meningitis I can relate to what you are going through, a little bit anyway, because our now 20 yr old son contracted Lyme Disease a little over 5 years ago as a freshman in HS, and his life has all but been destroyed because of it (and he is not a Christian sadly).

Praying for you, especially that God will see you back to far better health than you have now, and that you will also see His promise in Romans 8:28 fulfilled in your life as well

God bless you! (Numbers 6:24-26)

~Deut

The effects of Lyme are very similar to the after effects from meningitis, so I can imagine what he's been enduring. And at such a young age, it must be especially tough. I struggle with not being able to enjoy the active lifestyle that was such a big part of my life. But I had many years of enjoyment of those things, I have a husband, grown children, grandchildren, my church family and am trying to figure out other things to learn to love or discover I love that I haven't realized yet. I'm still searching! But it's only been 9 months. Being a young adult, it would really be difficult to lose these things before you even got a chance to start enjoying them. And my relationship with God is what helps keep me strong and gives me hope and encouragement. I don't know how people face the things they do or overcome the battles they do without Him, but some do to a certain extent. Honestly, in those cases I think God is working in their lives because He has a plan and purpose for them. He is pursuing them, and He knows they're going to open their hearts to him. There are people in my life you would have never thought they would ever open up and receive Jesus, but they did and have the strongest testimonies, and are the best help and encouragers to other people. I will pray for your son's physical struggles also, and for his heart to soften and respond to the calling and conviction of the Holy Spirit.

 

[Deuteronomy]

Thank you sister

 

[Meningone]

Hello Meningone;

I want to thank God for the outpouring welcome to you. I'm also joining everyone in prayer for you.

God bless you, Meningone, and your family.

I'm also thankful and blessed by the abundance of warm welcome, prayers, and words of encouragement.

 

[Realmind]

Meningone, as a newcomer to this forum myself, I feel deep sadness over your horrific disease. I have heard and know that not even one thing happens without God's providence, but whenever I come across people with overwhelming diseases I simply don't know what to say. I have been suffering due to severe allergic reactions for the past 8 years, so I somehow understand what it feels to live with a painful disease. I would like to pray for your complete recovery and return to ordinary life. May God bless you and don't lose heart. Thank you.

 

[Mel85]

Up until April my life was full of work, homelife, and lots of outside activities. Wow, that changed in a matter of hours. In the middle of the night I woke up with a blinding headache, and after 2 days of misdiagnosis, on the 3rd trip to the ER they confirmed I had bacterial meningitis. I had heard of it, but didn't know alot about it. I just thought, "OK, get rid of this pain, get me some antibiotics & get me back home and back to work." BIG NO! Did not work out that way. I am blessed that I lived through it. I am blessed that I didn't go septic and lose limbs/extremities, eyesight, hearing, organ failure. But I have been left with invisible disabilities that are really getting me down. Constant headaches, neck and spine pain, muscle pain, memory loss. Any activity or stress worsens the symptoms. I can't work or enjoy the activities I use to be able to do. I can't enjoy social gatherings. Noone understands. They want me to be the old me and get aggrevated with me. Especially my family. I've always been the strong one. The one that took care of everything. Now I just can't. My love for and faith in God helps me tremendously, but I find myself getting sadder and angrier at the people around me more lately, and not knowing where or what to do from here.

Welcome to CC and thanks for sharing.

First of all, praise God for the miracle in your life that it wasnt as worse as it couldve been! Also, I encourage you to pray to God to give you a heart of compassion and forgiveness to those people around you. Sometimes it can be too much, but only God can soften our hearts to build us into being humble and how to hold ourselves as believers of Christ.

Hope to see you around the forums, God bless!