How can I persuade our grandchlldren's dad to allow me to home-school their 2 children?

[MyrtleTrees]

Hi! I and my brothers and sisters were home-schooled in our childhood. I also help to home-school our 2 grandchildren, Dawson - 9, and Mandy - 7, though not as much as I had been, because their parents put them in a Christian public school, the last 2 years. As there's less time to do so, because of their being at the school so long each day, in the school part of the year.

I see no need for their being in the Christian public school, and they are hyperactive, and so learn better with interactive teaching methods, as compared to the typical sitting and listening to a teacher talk - method which is how public schools do it for a large part of their time of teaching children. That's how it was for me when I was young - I was better able to learn in the more interactive style of teaching, as compared to the classroom method.

I've taught them both how to read, and make them read a chapter in their Bible story book every day I'm with them. I've also taught them math for their age levels. Their father doesn't understand why I don't spend more time teaching them though, as he's used to the classroom method and finds it hard to trust the home-school method, which requires much less class room (passive sitting - aloud instructions) type of time.

But his children are hyperactive, and he has difficulty understanding their need for more rest in between study times. And fails, i think - to see that passive sittting in a class - room style of teaching, doesn't really improve their ability to learn more than otherwise.

And unfortunately, their mom - our daughter divorced her good, Christian husband, this year. That alone is hard on children. They'd be better off in being always in a stable home situation, I think and with loving, trustworthy dad and grandparents around them if available, and we are. And they both don't like to go to school.

 

[Godsgirl1983]

There is so much going on in your family's situation right now. My heart goes out to you & your husband & the grand kids & their dad.

I have some thoughts, but will have to come back to share later.
Prayers for you all.

 

[2ndTimeIsTheCharm]

Hi! I and my brothers and sisters were home-schooled in our childhood. I also help to home-school our 2 grandchildren, Dawson - 9, and Mandy - 7, though not as much as I had been, because their parents put them in a Christian public school, the last 2 years. As there's less time to do so, because of their being at the school so long each day, in the school part of the year.

I see no need for their being in the Christian public school, and they are hyperactive, and so learn better with interactive teaching methods, as compared to the typical sitting and listening to a teacher talk - method which is how public schools do it for a large part of their time of teaching children. That's how it was for me when I was young - I was better able to learn in the more interactive style of teaching, as compared to the classroom method.

I've taught them both how to read, and make them read a chapter in their Bible story book every day I'm with them. I've also taught them math for their age levels. Their father doesn't understand why I don't spend more time teaching them though, as he's used to the classroom method and finds it hard to trust the home-school method, which requires much less class room (passive sitting - aloud instructions) type of time.

But his children are hyperactive, and he has difficulty understanding their need for more rest in between study times. And fails, i think - to see that passive sittting in a class - room style of teaching, doesn't really improve their ability to learn more than otherwise.

And unfortunately, their mom - our daughter divorced her good, Christian husband, this year. That alone is hard on children. They'd be better off in being always in a stable home situation, I think and with loving, trustworthy dad and grandparents around them if available, and we are. And they both don't like to go to school.

I'll pray for you too. I've found that the best thing to do is ask God to change his mind if it is the Lord's will, on a consistent basis until God answers it.

My elderly father got it into his head one time to drive by car around the United States on his own. The guy is in his 80s, lol! And he is stubborn! He's also forgetful and leaves important things behind. The horror he puts me and my mother through when he does that! No amount of trying to beg and reason with him worked.

So I started to regularly pray for him that he changes his mind - to maybe have God put the fear him not go, lol!

And it worked! After about a year of praying everyday about it, he changed his mind!

So pray consistently that the father of those kids changes his mind until he does. I'll pray for him too! It probably won't take as long as for my stubborn father.

 

[Cameron143]

Hi! I and my brothers and sisters were home-schooled in our childhood. I also help to home-school our 2 grandchildren, Dawson - 9, and Mandy - 7, though not as much as I had been, because their parents put them in a Christian public school, the last 2 years. As there's less time to do so, because of their being at the school so long each day, in the school part of the year.

I see no need for their being in the Christian public school, and they are hyperactive, and so learn better with interactive teaching methods, as compared to the typical sitting and listening to a teacher talk - method which is how public schools do it for a large part of their time of teaching children. That's how it was for me when I was young - I was better able to learn in the more interactive style of teaching, as compared to the classroom method.

I've taught them both how to read, and make them read a chapter in their Bible story book every day I'm with them. I've also taught them math for their age levels. Their father doesn't understand why I don't spend more time teaching them though, as he's used to the classroom method and finds it hard to trust the home-school method, which requires much less class room (passive sitting - aloud instructions) type of time.

But his children are hyperactive, and he has difficulty understanding their need for more rest in between study times. And fails, i think - to see that passive sittting in a class - room style of teaching, doesn't really improve their ability to learn more than otherwise.

And unfortunately, their mom - our daughter divorced her good, Christian husband, this year. That alone is hard on children. They'd be better off in being always in a stable home situation, I think and with loving, trustworthy dad and grandparents around them if available, and we are. And they both don't like to go to school.

Forget about trying to convince the middle man. Go straight to the source. Just keep praying. God will get you and your family through this.

 

[MyrtleTrees]

Forget about trying to convince the middle man. Go straight to the source. Just keep praying. God will get you and your family through this.

Hi! Thanks so much for your reply! Your advice sounds good! I have been praying about it daily, and will continue on doing so!

 

[MessengerofTruth]

Hi! I and my brothers and sisters were home-schooled in our childhood. I also help to home-school our 2 grandchildren, Dawson - 9, and Mandy - 7, though not as much as I had been, because their parents put them in a Christian public school, the last 2 years. As there's less time to do so, because of their being at the school so long each day, in the school part of the year.

I see no need for their being in the Christian public school, and they are hyperactive, and so learn better with interactive teaching methods, as compared to the typical sitting and listening to a teacher talk - method which is how public schools do it for a large part of their time of teaching children. That's how it was for me when I was young - I was better able to learn in the more interactive style of teaching, as compared to the classroom method.

I've taught them both how to read, and make them read a chapter in their Bible story book every day I'm with them. I've also taught them math for their age levels. Their father doesn't understand why I don't spend more time teaching them though, as he's used to the classroom method and finds it hard to trust the home-school method, which requires much less class room (passive sitting - aloud instructions) type of time.

But his children are hyperactive, and he has difficulty understanding their need for more rest in between study times. And fails, i think - to see that passive sittting in a class - room style of teaching, doesn't really improve their ability to learn more than otherwise.

And unfortunately, their mom - our daughter divorced her good, Christian husband, this year. That alone is hard on children. They'd be better off in being always in a stable home situation, I think and with loving, trustworthy dad and grandparents around them if available, and we are. And they both don't like to go to school.

If it was me I would talk to ZNP, he has a lot of experience and wisdom to share.

I would build a case for homeschooling and peaceably, after prayer and fasting (like Esther), present it to him over his favorite dessert after his favorite meal, cooked and served with love.

 

[Cameron143]

Hi! Thanks so much for your reply! Your advice sounds good! I have been praying about it daily, and will continue on doing so!

I feel for you and your family. I understand all too well the effects of a failed marriage on a family. But I've also experienced the manifestations of God's grace in so many ways as He worked through the heartache and pain to reveal Himself more intimately.

Prayer is your greatest ally and weakness your greatest strength. I realize it seems counter intuitive, but in our weakness, God really does show Himself strong on our behalf.
I'll keep praying for you and your family.

 

[MyrtleTrees]

If it was me I would talk to ZNP, he has a lot of experience and wisdom to share.

I would build a case for homeschooling and peaceably, after prayer and fasting (like Esther), present it to him over his favorite dessert after his favorite meal, cooked and served with love.

Hi! Thaks so much for your reply! I'm copying all the helpful replies, including yours - to a document, so I can have them on hand to re-read as needed. God bless you - have a good day!

I'll pray for you too. I've found that the best thing to do is ask God to change his mind if it is the Lord's will, on a consistent basis until God answers it.

My elderly father got it into his head one time to drive by car around the United States on his own. The guy is in his 80s, lol! And he is stubborn! He's also forgetful and leaves important things behind. The horror he puts me and my mother through when he does that! No amount of trying to beg and reason with him worked.

So I started to regularly pray for him that he changes his mind - to maybe have God put the fear him not go, lol!

And it worked! After about a year of praying everyday about it, he changed his mind!

So pray consistently that the father of those kids changes his mind until he does. I'll pray for him too! It probably won't take as long as for my stubborn father.

Hi! Thaks so much for your reply! Thanks for your care and concern! I'm copying all the helpful replies, including yours - to a document, so I can have them on hand to re-read as needed. God bless you - have a good day! Thanks for your prayers! I'm glad that your prayers worked to persuadeyour father to do wha was best for him!

 

[MyrtleTrees]

There is so much going on in your family's situation right now. My heart goes out to you & your husband & the grand kids & their dad.

I have some thoughts, but will have to come back to share later.
Prayers for you all.

Hi! Ok thanks! I'll be waiting. God bless you!

 

[Godsgirl1983]

I am looking at this from a point of view of a parent who started in public school but ultimately ended up pulling them out to homeschool, which has turned out to be one of the best things ever.

I'm speculating here just based on what I've read you share about this through various threads, and it seems like right now you all have a pretty good relationship with the father, and probably don't want to burn that bridge.

I've been thinking through a couple solutions ( prayer being first of course) and keep coming back to this idea.
Is there a subject in school where they are struggling? Perhaps during summer break dad would allow you to "tutor" (or basically homeschool these 1 or 2 subjects for each child) Maybe seeing how learning from home gives better learning and advancements in the short time of summer (while still enjoying summer break) would help him consider homeschooling for full time.

 

[MyrtleTrees]

I am looking at this from a point of view of a parent who started in public school but ultimately ended up pulling them out to homeschool, which has turned out to be one of the best things ever.

I'm speculating here just based on what I've read you share about this through various threads, and it seems like right now you all have a pretty good relationship with the father, and probably don't want to burn that bridge.

I've been thinking through a couple solutions ( prayer being first of course) and keep coming back to this idea.
Is there a subject in school where they are struggling? Perhaps during summer break dad would allow you to "tutor" (or basically homeschool these 1 or 2 subjects for each child) Maybe seeing how learning from home gives better learning and advancements in the short time of summer (while still enjoying summer break) would help him consider homeschooling for full time.

Hi! Yes, we have a good relationship with him. I already tutor the kids, and have done so for years ever since they became of school age. He's thankful for it, and can see some good it has done - for example, it helped them both to learn how to read. But still, he's afraid to use just home-schooling alone - afraid it might not be enough - and maybe partly because he knows they are hyperactive type of kids - and thinks they might need extra help because of that. I think he's incorrect to think they need anything more than home-schooling or to think that they might be deficient because of their hyperactivity if not also sent to public school. But I don't know how to persuade him, though I express my opinion on this now and then. I guess I'll just have to keep praying about it - ask God to help him see that home-schooling them would be best, especially in their case, I think - for a number of reasons. That's interesting that you know of someone who took their child out of public school, and was later reassured that he'd made the best choice for his child! Thanks for your comments! God bless you!

 

[Godsgirl1983]

I am looking at this from a point of view of a parent

Oops! That should have said:
"I am looking at this from a point of view as a parent"

 

[Lanolin]

Do they get in trouble in the public school? If they are in trouble and constantly hyperactive they may get banned/expelled anyway, so your family may have no choice but to homeschool (or alternative school)

What do they do in their break time? Small classes may be better. Also are they on any meds. In public school at that age they dont have much time for breaks or places to go where they can calm themselves. The library is one place but if your school, does not have a library (some dont) then thats reason enought to remove them.

 

[Nehemiah6]

Their father doesn't understand why I don't spend more time teaching them though, as he's used to the classroom method and finds it hard to trust the home-school method, which requires much less class room (passive sitting - aloud instructions) type of time.

What you could do is design some demanding quizzes and tests and have them completed after coaching the kids. Then ask them to complete the tests on their own, after which you could show the results to their father. This would prove objectively that home schooling is in fact superior.

 

[MyrtleTrees]

What you could do is design some demanding quizzes and tests and have them completed after coaching the kids. Then ask them to complete the tests on their own, after which you could show the results to their father. This would prove objectively that home schooling is in fact superior.

What you could do is design some demanding quizzes and tests and have them completed after coaching the kids. Then ask them to complete the tests on their own, after which you could show the results to their father. This would prove objectively that home schooling is in fact superior.

Hi! Thanks so much for the suggestion! I'll have to keep that method in mind! Maybe I can find some evaluation tests for their grades online too - that I could use. He is more likely to trust an "official" opinion, compared to my own, on that, I think.

 

[Lanolin]

Hyperactive children Ive learned need babying that they did not get in their growing years 0-3

Not sure what the situation was at that age but if there was any trauma, divorce, separation, abandonment or neglect during that time that will affect ther subsequent development and they would not be ready for a classroom environment.

It is hard on teacher to give individual attention to hyperactive children and bad for the class. Smaller classes are better for these children who are essentially still toddlers in maturity. If they cant sit still. Its like dogs going to obedience school, they need to learn to STAY but this happens BEFORE school and dont when they are every young puppies using treats and rewards. You cant keep doing that in a classroom all the time for older children.

Children act up when they dont feel safe.

 

[Cameron143]

Hyperactive children Ive learned need babying that they did not get in their growing years 0-3

Not sure what the situation was at that age but if there was any trauma, divorce, separation, abandonment or neglect during that time that will affect ther subsequent development and they would not be ready for a classroom environment.

It is hard on teacher to give individual attention to hyperactive children and bad for the class. Smaller classes are better for these children who are essentially still toddlers in maturity. If they cant sit still. Its like dogs going to obedience school, they need to learn to STAY but this happens BEFORE school and dont when they are every young puppies using treats and rewards. You cant keep doing that in a classroom all the time for older children.

Children act up when they dont feel safe.

Children are asked to do things that children have no need doing. Modern education has required the most unnatural of conditions onto children. At 6 a child should be full of energy and bouncing off the walls. They should be curious about everything and desiring to leave their fingerprints on everything in reach.
Teachers are often put in an impossible position because they are given too many children to teach well. They opt for control over creativity because that is easier.
But the real problem is parents who have obfuscated their God given responsibility to teach their children diligently.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

Hi! I and my brothers and sisters were home-schooled in our childhood. I also help to home-school our 2 grandchildren, Dawson - 9, and Mandy - 7, though not as much as I had been, because their parents put them in a Christian public school, the last 2 years. As there's less time to do so, because of their being at the school so long each day, in the school part of the year.

I see no need for their being in the Christian public school, and they are hyperactive, and so learn better with interactive teaching methods, as compared to the typical sitting and listening to a teacher talk - method which is how public schools do it for a large part of their time of teaching children. That's how it was for me when I was young - I was better able to learn in the more interactive style of teaching, as compared to the classroom method.

I've taught them both how to read, and make them read a chapter in their Bible story book every day I'm with them. I've also taught them math for their age levels. Their father doesn't understand why I don't spend more time teaching them though, as he's used to the classroom method and finds it hard to trust the home-school method, which requires much less class room (passive sitting - aloud instructions) type of time.

But his children are hyperactive, and he has difficulty understanding their need for more rest in between study times. And fails, i think - to see that passive sittting in a class - room style of teaching, doesn't really improve their ability to learn more than otherwise.

And unfortunately, their mom - our daughter divorced her good, Christian husband, this year. That alone is hard on children. They'd be better off in being always in a stable home situation, I think and with loving, trustworthy dad and grandparents around them if available, and we are. And they both don't like to go to school.

It's normal for some children, especially boys, to be somewhat hyper active. However, there are often direct causes of abnormal hyperactivity that can be avoided. Vaccines are often the culprit. They all contain adjuvants that can inflame the nervous system. They Mercury in them can also short circuit nerve pathways according to some experts in the field.

I've noticed the students that are most hyperactive eat sweetened cereal and junk foods frequently. I'm not judging your family members, I just think it might be helpful to be aware of common causes that might have simply solutions. The refined sugar, toxins, chemicals like food coloring and preservatives, food sensitivities are all common causes. These are things that the parents can consider when they see a flare up. Physicians are supposed to be the experts, but they normally Rx dangerous amphetamines to young children without regards to the causes of hyperactivity.

The Lord bless you for your hard work homeschooling and sacrificing to help your family.

 

[Lanolin]

im not sure what happens in hospitals at birth these days but I always think that all the drugs given to a mother and child before pregnancy, at birth and after absolutely affect the baby.

While some drugs ease the painof childbirth who knows what affect this has on children themselves. They have been introduced to powerful, addictive drugs from birth.

Mothers who drink alcohol or used drugs absolutely have affected their babies.,,you have crack babies, FAS babies, those who live in a smoke filled environment and more. Plastics and chemicals also affect babies. They are SPONGES.

Apparently, in the 1960 it was common that parents were advised to drug their children to stop them from crying by giving them 'medicine' that had alcohol and other barbiturates in them. There is a lot that people dont seem to know about babies because they are not articulate and cant talk to us and people think just because they are small they can just leave them alone, abandon them, treat them badly, and slap them from birth. They think cos their brains are small (they are still growing) that they are unaware and wont remember things. Well no they do, it just gets stored in their muscle memory. If you are their parent and ignore a baby they will know.

 

[MyrtleTrees]

It's normal for some children, especially boys, to be somewhat hyper active. However, there are often direct causes of abnormal hyperactivity that can be avoided. Vaccines are often the culprit. They all contain adjuvants that can inflame the nervous system. They Mercury in them can also short circuit nerve pathways according to some experts in the field.

I've noticed the students that are most hyperactive eat sweetened cereal and junk foods frequently. I'm not judging your family members, I just think it might be helpful to be aware of common causes that might have simply solutions. The refined sugar, toxins, chemicals like food coloring and preservatives, food sensitivities are all common causes. These are things that the parents can consider when they see a flare up. Physicians are supposed to be the experts, but they normally Rx dangerous amphetamines to young children without regards to the causes of hyperactivity.

The Lord bless you for your hard work homeschooling and sacrificing to help your family.

Hi! I've read and heard claims that vaccines may adversely affect children, in at least some cases. But their older brothers, from an earlier marriage - plus their dad, was also that way to an extent, it sounds like - judging by the fact that they all had difficulty learning how to read in their school years, and having difficulty with math. So in their case, it might be partly genetic, I think. I am very health-minded, and eat very naturally and healthfully, myself. But their family eats more of the "typical American diet" - there's not much I can do about that, but to do my best to get them to eat at least some of the more healthful foods in times when I'm with them. Thanks for your comments! God bless you! By the way, I have taught the children how to read, and am glad for that. But they would have had the same difficulty, I think if it wasn't for my help on it, as compared to learning in a typical classroom setting (not interactive as when with me teaching them).