How can I persuade our grandchlldren's dad to allow me to home-school their 2 children?
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Hi! Yes, we already talked about that together. But we just don't agree. She just got tired of him, that's all. She didn't say he did anything abusive to her. She just didn't like being submissive to a husband. She also complained that she felt he was too old for her. The BIble wouldn't approve of any of her reasons for leaving him. I talked with her about it along with spiritual reasons why it is wrong for her to separate from him. She doesn't want to talk about it any more. So now, there's hardly anything that I can think of to talk about with her. So I just show her my love whenever I see her (which isn't often, as I don't drive) and keep praying for her to come to repentance and for God to help in the situation that is left from it, as well as is possible.
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Yeah sounds like she is immature and doesn't want to commit to Godly relationship. It also sounds like he might be neglecting his wife. But ultimately if she didn't think he was the right man to marry she shouldn't have married him. I would suspect they got married for the wrong reasons.
I guess showing her God's love is all you can do at this point. Because you can't help someone that doesn't want help.
I guess showing her God's love is all you can do at this point. Because you can't help someone that doesn't want help.
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Well,
It's difficult (and almost impossible at times) to watch children or grandchildren make what we think of as mistakes.
I totally get it.
I know that at times we know to have the right answers but can't get them to do the correct things...only for them to come back later and say, "you were right".
But....
Nobody is a perfect parent. In each of us there is a desire to be better parents than our parents. To provide more, to be less harsh, to be more restrictive or less restrictive....whatever. And in our trying to do so we end up making more mistakes in the long run. And then after the kids have grown and have kids of their own we have a LOT of hindsight in what to do better and we have more patience because we aren't tasked with the daily annoyances or frustrations from doing it all fresh. Because when younger....it's all new.
And that is something that God designed.
We don't have a patriarchal home life culture anymore. Kinda sad in a lot of ways. But that's by God's design too.
I know that your desires are the best of intentions. I have them too. But ultimately you get what you get...this is his turn. He will succeed or fail based on what you have already done to teach and guide him. And currently he is doing what he sees as best...Even if it isn't in your understanding. And the children will reap the consequences. So will he.
He may change his mind...he may not.
He may feel that the social interaction with other kids is more important than the learning...especially when he is Divorced and he was homeschooled....he feels like a failure for the divorce. He might feel like If he had been in public schools he would have known better than to marry her or been a better husband in some way.
It's a possibility. I and you don't know for certain.
Public School is a mixed bag of good and bad things to learn for all of us. But our relationships with our children are the most important thing because they are the guidance for their moral character.
It's difficult (and almost impossible at times) to watch children or grandchildren make what we think of as mistakes.
I totally get it.
I know that at times we know to have the right answers but can't get them to do the correct things...only for them to come back later and say, "you were right".
But....
Nobody is a perfect parent. In each of us there is a desire to be better parents than our parents. To provide more, to be less harsh, to be more restrictive or less restrictive....whatever. And in our trying to do so we end up making more mistakes in the long run. And then after the kids have grown and have kids of their own we have a LOT of hindsight in what to do better and we have more patience because we aren't tasked with the daily annoyances or frustrations from doing it all fresh. Because when younger....it's all new.
And that is something that God designed.
We don't have a patriarchal home life culture anymore. Kinda sad in a lot of ways. But that's by God's design too.
I know that your desires are the best of intentions. I have them too. But ultimately you get what you get...this is his turn. He will succeed or fail based on what you have already done to teach and guide him. And currently he is doing what he sees as best...Even if it isn't in your understanding. And the children will reap the consequences. So will he.
He may change his mind...he may not.
He may feel that the social interaction with other kids is more important than the learning...especially when he is Divorced and he was homeschooled....he feels like a failure for the divorce. He might feel like If he had been in public schools he would have known better than to marry her or been a better husband in some way.
It's a possibility. I and you don't know for certain.
Public School is a mixed bag of good and bad things to learn for all of us. But our relationships with our children are the most important thing because they are the guidance for their moral character.
apparently making mistakes is how a lot of us learn
Not all of us have luxury of teachers or tutors that can focus solely on us.
If your grandchildren know how to read, and practice regularly then thats good. School will be much easier for them.
If they are dyslexic it will be harder, but make sure they know, otherwise just be sure they pick up that skill. If they are actually diagnosed as dyslexic then the school can get special funding put in place to help them out more, eg audio books, phonics readers, sound tubes, reading aids.
A lot of children that cant focus, sit still, get their letters backwards or cant spell, then FAKE reading actually have problems with reading because their eyes are unable to track writing properly. They can draw pictures, but writing and spelling are difficult. This is where you need to systemically teach them to spell and say, and then they can read.
Children that CAN read, usually then dont have much trouble sitting down and focusing on a book, because they can, and they also find books that interest them and WANT to read them. Children that cant, wander around lost, or ask others to read FOR them.
I think a certain amount of spoon feeding is beneficial, but by the time they reach school age or year 3 all children in school need to know how to read so they can learn from themselves.
Its like church, you dont actually need to go to church to listen to a sermon for half an hour when you have a copy of the Bible and can read the entire book yourself everyday. Its just there to reinforce what you are ALREADY learning, and to meet others in worship right.
School is not going to spoonfeed your children forever.
Not all of us have luxury of teachers or tutors that can focus solely on us.
If your grandchildren know how to read, and practice regularly then thats good. School will be much easier for them.
If they are dyslexic it will be harder, but make sure they know, otherwise just be sure they pick up that skill. If they are actually diagnosed as dyslexic then the school can get special funding put in place to help them out more, eg audio books, phonics readers, sound tubes, reading aids.
A lot of children that cant focus, sit still, get their letters backwards or cant spell, then FAKE reading actually have problems with reading because their eyes are unable to track writing properly. They can draw pictures, but writing and spelling are difficult. This is where you need to systemically teach them to spell and say, and then they can read.
Children that CAN read, usually then dont have much trouble sitting down and focusing on a book, because they can, and they also find books that interest them and WANT to read them. Children that cant, wander around lost, or ask others to read FOR them.
I think a certain amount of spoon feeding is beneficial, but by the time they reach school age or year 3 all children in school need to know how to read so they can learn from themselves.
Its like church, you dont actually need to go to church to listen to a sermon for half an hour when you have a copy of the Bible and can read the entire book yourself everyday. Its just there to reinforce what you are ALREADY learning, and to meet others in worship right.
School is not going to spoonfeed your children forever.
This is when marriage being a big decison that affects everyone needs careful thought and prayer changing your mind later actually has consequences.
I guess many couples dont think about that when they make what is supposed to be solemn vows. You wonder how they got married in the first place. Pushed into it by their parents? Decided on a whim?
I guess many couples dont think about that when they make what is supposed to be solemn vows. You wonder how they got married in the first place. Pushed into it by their parents? Decided on a whim?
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its a problem for both men and women, men lying saying they will keep a promise just to seal a deal
women being fickle and not sticking to what they agreed to
Its not like a job contract where you could always decide to quit and leave for a better one, its a lifelong commitment
anyway, I dont know why that is. Maybe its just young people dont know any better. I recall Rachel Hunters reason why she left Rod Stewart..she married him when she was young and drunk (he was older than her father) and then she had two children but spent her life buying groceries and cleaning and didnt really want to do that anymore, while he was off living the high life and being waited on hand and foot. Men are stupid about marriage thinking once they are married their wife is their servant and will always want to be at their beck and call. They often dont think about doing the grocery shopping themselves or maybe helping out with childcare and giving their wife a break and time for herself.
women being fickle and not sticking to what they agreed to
Its not like a job contract where you could always decide to quit and leave for a better one, its a lifelong commitment
anyway, I dont know why that is. Maybe its just young people dont know any better. I recall Rachel Hunters reason why she left Rod Stewart..she married him when she was young and drunk (he was older than her father) and then she had two children but spent her life buying groceries and cleaning and didnt really want to do that anymore, while he was off living the high life and being waited on hand and foot. Men are stupid about marriage thinking once they are married their wife is their servant and will always want to be at their beck and call. They often dont think about doing the grocery shopping themselves or maybe helping out with childcare and giving their wife a break and time for herself.
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Can I say if you are homeschooling good on you it relieves the presure on teachers esp when they have classes of up to 30 and one kid is acting up and disrupts the whole class.
I wish I had the magic thing where everyone is well behaved but it takes time to establish relarionships or bonds with your students/pupils. If they are coming from a tough start/beginning then the road is harder. Some kids have to deal with abandonment so early in their life and that doesnt bode well for them.
In the Bible its the orphan spirit or spirit of rejection...all children need to know they are loved, its so important, If you offend a child its better for a millstone to be placed around your neck and be cast to the bottom of the sea.
Suffer the little children and forbid them not for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
I wish I had the magic thing where everyone is well behaved but it takes time to establish relarionships or bonds with your students/pupils. If they are coming from a tough start/beginning then the road is harder. Some kids have to deal with abandonment so early in their life and that doesnt bode well for them.
In the Bible its the orphan spirit or spirit of rejection...all children need to know they are loved, its so important, If you offend a child its better for a millstone to be placed around your neck and be cast to the bottom of the sea.
Suffer the little children and forbid them not for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
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