How Did Your Spiritual Journey Begin?
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"For by one offering He has perfected forever those who are being sanctified."
Amen
I went back over some old posts. You came on one day asking about online pastors, I responded by giving you a backhanded insult. SMH
Thank you for overlooking that transgression, my apologies.
Worse than that, I never answered your question. I don't have three, because I would rather read or listen to old books.
But, the closest thing to an online pastor that I've ever had, was this brother right here. I believe he passed recently, but he has a bunch of teaching online.
Amen
I went back over some old posts. You came on one day asking about online pastors, I responded by giving you a backhanded insult. SMH
Thank you for overlooking that transgression, my apologies.
Worse than that, I never answered your question. I don't have three, because I would rather read or listen to old books.
But, the closest thing to an online pastor that I've ever had, was this brother right here. I believe he passed recently, but he has a bunch of teaching online.
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It's all good brother. I've learned quit a bit already from the feedback here. is 1) read the bible for yourself, because there is power in the word when you read it with your own eyes.
I was kinda like searching for God's modern day generals so to speak like Billy Graham, supremely anointed by God not to be led astray.
I was kinda like searching for God's modern day generals so to speak like Billy Graham, supremely anointed by God not to be led astray.
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.
My very first step towards unifying with Christ began with fear.
One day at work, back in 1968, right out of the blue, a production designer
asked me if I was prepared for Christ's return. Well; I must've been either
asleep or absent the day that the nuns in catechism talked about Jesus
coming back because that man's question was the very first time in my
whole life that I can remember somebody telling me. I was 24 and hadn't a
clue what he was talking about.
My initial reaction was alarm because I instinctively knew that were I called
on the carpet for a face-to-face with Christ, it would not go well for me
because I had a lot to answer for. I don't like being made to feel afraid so I
became indignant and demanded to know why Jesus wanted to come back.
That's when I found out for the very first time that it was in the divine plan
for Christ to rule the world.
Then the designer asked me if I was going to Heaven. Well; of course I had
no clue because Catholics honestly don't know what to expect when they
pass away. I was crossing my fingers while in the back of my mind dreading
the worst.
Then the man said: "Don't you know that Jesus died for your sins?"
Well; I had been taught in catechism that Jesus died for the sins of the
world; that much I knew; but honestly believed all along that he had been a
victim of unfortunate circumstances. It was a shock to discover that Jesus'
trip to the cross was deliberate, and that his Father was thinking of me when
His son passed away, viz: my sins were among the sins of the world that
Jesus took to the cross with him.
At that very instant-- scarcely a nanosecond --something took over in my
mind as I fully realized, to my great relief, that Heaven was no longer out of
reach, rather, well within my grasp.
Long story short; I eventually went with that man to his church and, along
with him and a couple of elders, knelt at the rail down front and prayed a
really simple, näive prayer that went something like this;
"God, I know I'm a sinner. I would like to take advantage of your son's
death"
My prayer wasn't much to brag about; but was no doubt the smartest
sixteen words I'd ever spoken up to that time.
_
My very first step towards unifying with Christ began with fear.
One day at work, back in 1968, right out of the blue, a production designer
asked me if I was prepared for Christ's return. Well; I must've been either
asleep or absent the day that the nuns in catechism talked about Jesus
coming back because that man's question was the very first time in my
whole life that I can remember somebody telling me. I was 24 and hadn't a
clue what he was talking about.
My initial reaction was alarm because I instinctively knew that were I called
on the carpet for a face-to-face with Christ, it would not go well for me
because I had a lot to answer for. I don't like being made to feel afraid so I
became indignant and demanded to know why Jesus wanted to come back.
That's when I found out for the very first time that it was in the divine plan
for Christ to rule the world.
Then the designer asked me if I was going to Heaven. Well; of course I had
no clue because Catholics honestly don't know what to expect when they
pass away. I was crossing my fingers while in the back of my mind dreading
the worst.
Then the man said: "Don't you know that Jesus died for your sins?"
Well; I had been taught in catechism that Jesus died for the sins of the
world; that much I knew; but honestly believed all along that he had been a
victim of unfortunate circumstances. It was a shock to discover that Jesus'
trip to the cross was deliberate, and that his Father was thinking of me when
His son passed away, viz: my sins were among the sins of the world that
Jesus took to the cross with him.
At that very instant-- scarcely a nanosecond --something took over in my
mind as I fully realized, to my great relief, that Heaven was no longer out of
reach, rather, well within my grasp.
Long story short; I eventually went with that man to his church and, along
with him and a couple of elders, knelt at the rail down front and prayed a
really simple, näive prayer that went something like this;
"God, I know I'm a sinner. I would like to take advantage of your son's
death"
My prayer wasn't much to brag about; but was no doubt the smartest
sixteen words I'd ever spoken up to that time.
_
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My conversion was a bit more dramatic. I was raised in a military family. No I do not mean my dad and a relative were vets, I mean like my entire family almost all of them served. 2 grandfathers that fought against Hitler. One of them who hated General Patton. An uncle who was Marine Recon in Vietnam, another Uncle Army Special Forces in Vietnam. My father was a part of the last Underwater Demolitions Team that became a Navy SEAL or what they at that time called a crossover SEAL, and so on and so forth. Family reunions were always interesting as te rented hall was full of Military conflict and war history walking around the room! I used to joke with my kid sister at the time, "The old war birds are here!". So, we weren't as anyone would say, OVERLY religious or spiritual. UM an, not too much. Especially since my uncles, had severe PTSD and were suffering later on from agent Orange exposure.
On my mother's side of the family were my grand folks and in their home there were some rules. They were never to ever bring up politics or religion. Keep away from those 2 and hey things went great. Grandma attended a Baptist church each Sunday for 1 service. She made all of my 7 uncles attend and almost all of them disliked that and so when they grew up never attended church again until they got much older some of them while others steered clear.
For me, my spirituality was simply a life of curiosity of "The beyond!" because I was never granted a whole lot of answers back then. Sometimes I explored things I probably should not have. Read books about well, what was behind the veil spiritually. Out of pure curiosity of course. "I probably should not have as they tell me it could open certain unwanted doors.". My family were more into disciplines such as honor, respect, defending our nation, saying please and thank you as well as doing out doorsy stuff like fishing, camping, hunting, shooting, and hiking.
Our musical taste all carried and as I got into my teens I got into Heavy Hard Rok and Metal of the 1980's. I was what they called a head banger and was heavily into Def Leppard, Ozzy, Kiss, Dokken, ACDC, Metallica, and so on and so forth. I was into the HEAVY stuff.
Dad of course was more laid back eve for a SEAL. He was into Jan and Dean, and country music plus old 50's tunes. My music about drove him nuts!
Later I started serving in the U.S. Army and got stationed in Panama where I encountered VERY different kinds of strange beliefs. "Save you the descriptions." Lets just say they were REALLY strange and different what Panamanians believe in. WEIRD stuff. You see, as a family we were not "church folks". We were simply military folks living in the civilian world. Mostly VETS.
Oh I went through the typical tragic U.S. Army Infantry life. Typical marriage and divorce scenario as is with a large percentage of us soldiers, sailers, and airman. YUP I was a statistic back then. I lost everything. I mean everything! My house, cars, wife, kids, job, reputation. EVERYTHING!
At some point I started training and became a CDL licensed trucker working for one of the HUGE transportation companies as a company driver Over the Road. My life as I had known it was OVER! Some days I felt like the walking dead. Just a hallowed out man who had to earn a living to pay the bills. To me life became just that, a quest to pay bills but otherwise completely meaningless.
Oh sure, I had heard the gospel. I had been to church in my life. People had tried with me, but when you start attending legalistic churches that run you off because maybe they hated the rock T shirt you wore or your hair got too long and they attacked your Vetera father for smoking cigarettes, well, lets just say things in that front were pretty fauled up. Especially when a pastor looked my dad square in his eyes and yelled, "Because you smoke those cigarettes you are not a God-like enough man to do more for our church. You've gone as far as you can go sir!". When that pastor did that it was as if a switch went off deep within my father. He turned from the kingdom of light to the kingdom of darkness in a flash! He walked out of that church making sure he rattled the windows, "SLAM!!!!" and never EVER went back to church the rest of his entire life! He came home and we new something terrible had happened to dad.
Then I went through the phase where I blamed God for everything and I ran just as hard and fast as I could to get away from the Lord. YUP! I ran from God. Coast to coast. New York City, Los Angeles, Memphis, Atlanta, Nashville, You name it! I went. I drove from one end of this nation to the other. Life for me was just driving another mile down the road! I did not want to hear from no lousy mealy mealy-mouthed legalistic back-bitting PASTOR or some elderly witch in churches that got nothing better to do but to spiritually assassinate you! I had HAD IT with church people!!! "Screw them! I'm DONE!" OH I ran and ran and RAN some more as far away as I could possibly get for GOD!!! Or so I thought! Plus I thought God must be just like that Pastor who would every Sunday morning preach; "The Baptist are going to hell because they are not the Church of Christ! The Penticostles, Cathoilics, Metodists and everyone else are all going to Hell because they are not the Church of Christ!" OH I heard it every Sunday morning as a kid! I even remember sitting there looking at these back bitting folks thinking as a 9 year old kid, "If these people are the ONLY ones going to heaven then I don't want to go there! No way! Sister bucket mouth and brother talks a lot! Oh heck NO!". Oh I grew up with that legalistic GARBAGE where they will bring 1 convert in and run 13 more out the back doors! I thought that was what God was like.
Inwardly I hoped God was way cooler than those folks. I really did inside. You see, I joined the Army and going through Basic training with INFANTRY drill sergeants was easier than dealing with those people! For sure! Boot camp was even easier than my childhood for Petes Sake. At least the Army accepted me a lot better than those church people. At least in the infantry, I excelled as angry as I was at them back then. At least they said their peace and shut up unlike church folk back then.
Then it happened! I had 2 semi-tractor trailer accidents that nearly cost me my life. One of them I was almost smashed under 20,000 pounds of rolled steel coil on a flatbed. On the 2nd, I had to JAM on my breaks for some jack-off JERK slamming on his breaks right in front of me as he swerved into my lane and suddenly slammed his breaks and as I did the entire load of wooden flooring kits shifted violently collapsing the sleeper birth of my truck as the lead top edge "taps" me in the back of my head! The investigating state trooper told me it was a sheer miracle I was not decapitated! Of course, when I saw the extent of the damage I had to change my shorts!
One day I found myself at one of my company's main terminals in Memphis, Tennessee. I was on the usual D.O.T. end of hours of service mandatory break which is usually 8 to 12 hours as it was also the end of my weekly 70 hours. So I stayed parked and went to sleep in my truck. That night when I did I had a dream I will NEVER EVER forget as long as I live! In this dream, I see nothing but pitch black DARK! I mean it was so dark you couldn't see your hand in front of your face and then smelled the worst rotten egg sulfur smell! Oh, and the heat! Tremendous heat enveloped this cavern I was in. Then I see it, a glow of orange-red! Suddenly I feel myself being lifted up by the very collar of my shirt and a MASSIVE voice yelling- Do you see that son!!!!" I looked down and it was WAY down and I saw it, the lake of fire! OH, the heat was so intense and then I see hands reaching up out of the fire as you could hear shrills and screams! I screamed, "AH!!!!!" and as I did I must have fallen out of my bed onto the floor of that truck! It woke me up and I was in sheets of sweat! I could still feel the heat and smell that horrible smoldering sulfur smell.
Then I laid there literally shaking like a life! I felt like this frightened boy. Then it all hit me all at once. Everyone I had ever wronged my entire life flashed before my very eyes and I felt their pain! I felt it from their side! I wept like a baby crying. I laid there wondering if I was being sent to hell. I laid there KNOWING I was so guilty. No church, no preachers, no little elderly ladies to scold me. Just God and me in the cab of that truck! So I prayed and I gave my life to HIM that day. It took God Almighty HIMSELF to do that. Later on, I was pulled into the terminal managers office and they said they were glad I survived the accidents but they had to let me go. I walked out and stood there in that drivers lounge area and I said to God; "OK Lord, you're the boss! From now on we go where you want me to go.". From there I moved on and never looked back again. I have been serving the Lord ever since.
On my mother's side of the family were my grand folks and in their home there were some rules. They were never to ever bring up politics or religion. Keep away from those 2 and hey things went great. Grandma attended a Baptist church each Sunday for 1 service. She made all of my 7 uncles attend and almost all of them disliked that and so when they grew up never attended church again until they got much older some of them while others steered clear.
For me, my spirituality was simply a life of curiosity of "The beyond!" because I was never granted a whole lot of answers back then. Sometimes I explored things I probably should not have. Read books about well, what was behind the veil spiritually. Out of pure curiosity of course. "I probably should not have as they tell me it could open certain unwanted doors.". My family were more into disciplines such as honor, respect, defending our nation, saying please and thank you as well as doing out doorsy stuff like fishing, camping, hunting, shooting, and hiking.
Our musical taste all carried and as I got into my teens I got into Heavy Hard Rok and Metal of the 1980's. I was what they called a head banger and was heavily into Def Leppard, Ozzy, Kiss, Dokken, ACDC, Metallica, and so on and so forth. I was into the HEAVY stuff.
Dad of course was more laid back eve for a SEAL. He was into Jan and Dean, and country music plus old 50's tunes. My music about drove him nuts!
Later I started serving in the U.S. Army and got stationed in Panama where I encountered VERY different kinds of strange beliefs. "Save you the descriptions." Lets just say they were REALLY strange and different what Panamanians believe in. WEIRD stuff. You see, as a family we were not "church folks". We were simply military folks living in the civilian world. Mostly VETS.
Oh I went through the typical tragic U.S. Army Infantry life. Typical marriage and divorce scenario as is with a large percentage of us soldiers, sailers, and airman. YUP I was a statistic back then. I lost everything. I mean everything! My house, cars, wife, kids, job, reputation. EVERYTHING!
At some point I started training and became a CDL licensed trucker working for one of the HUGE transportation companies as a company driver Over the Road. My life as I had known it was OVER! Some days I felt like the walking dead. Just a hallowed out man who had to earn a living to pay the bills. To me life became just that, a quest to pay bills but otherwise completely meaningless.
Oh sure, I had heard the gospel. I had been to church in my life. People had tried with me, but when you start attending legalistic churches that run you off because maybe they hated the rock T shirt you wore or your hair got too long and they attacked your Vetera father for smoking cigarettes, well, lets just say things in that front were pretty fauled up. Especially when a pastor looked my dad square in his eyes and yelled, "Because you smoke those cigarettes you are not a God-like enough man to do more for our church. You've gone as far as you can go sir!". When that pastor did that it was as if a switch went off deep within my father. He turned from the kingdom of light to the kingdom of darkness in a flash! He walked out of that church making sure he rattled the windows, "SLAM!!!!" and never EVER went back to church the rest of his entire life! He came home and we new something terrible had happened to dad.
Then I went through the phase where I blamed God for everything and I ran just as hard and fast as I could to get away from the Lord. YUP! I ran from God. Coast to coast. New York City, Los Angeles, Memphis, Atlanta, Nashville, You name it! I went. I drove from one end of this nation to the other. Life for me was just driving another mile down the road! I did not want to hear from no lousy mealy mealy-mouthed legalistic back-bitting PASTOR or some elderly witch in churches that got nothing better to do but to spiritually assassinate you! I had HAD IT with church people!!! "Screw them! I'm DONE!" OH I ran and ran and RAN some more as far away as I could possibly get for GOD!!! Or so I thought! Plus I thought God must be just like that Pastor who would every Sunday morning preach; "The Baptist are going to hell because they are not the Church of Christ! The Penticostles, Cathoilics, Metodists and everyone else are all going to Hell because they are not the Church of Christ!" OH I heard it every Sunday morning as a kid! I even remember sitting there looking at these back bitting folks thinking as a 9 year old kid, "If these people are the ONLY ones going to heaven then I don't want to go there! No way! Sister bucket mouth and brother talks a lot! Oh heck NO!". Oh I grew up with that legalistic GARBAGE where they will bring 1 convert in and run 13 more out the back doors! I thought that was what God was like.
Inwardly I hoped God was way cooler than those folks. I really did inside. You see, I joined the Army and going through Basic training with INFANTRY drill sergeants was easier than dealing with those people! For sure! Boot camp was even easier than my childhood for Petes Sake. At least the Army accepted me a lot better than those church people. At least in the infantry, I excelled as angry as I was at them back then. At least they said their peace and shut up unlike church folk back then.
Then it happened! I had 2 semi-tractor trailer accidents that nearly cost me my life. One of them I was almost smashed under 20,000 pounds of rolled steel coil on a flatbed. On the 2nd, I had to JAM on my breaks for some jack-off JERK slamming on his breaks right in front of me as he swerved into my lane and suddenly slammed his breaks and as I did the entire load of wooden flooring kits shifted violently collapsing the sleeper birth of my truck as the lead top edge "taps" me in the back of my head! The investigating state trooper told me it was a sheer miracle I was not decapitated! Of course, when I saw the extent of the damage I had to change my shorts!
One day I found myself at one of my company's main terminals in Memphis, Tennessee. I was on the usual D.O.T. end of hours of service mandatory break which is usually 8 to 12 hours as it was also the end of my weekly 70 hours. So I stayed parked and went to sleep in my truck. That night when I did I had a dream I will NEVER EVER forget as long as I live! In this dream, I see nothing but pitch black DARK! I mean it was so dark you couldn't see your hand in front of your face and then smelled the worst rotten egg sulfur smell! Oh, and the heat! Tremendous heat enveloped this cavern I was in. Then I see it, a glow of orange-red! Suddenly I feel myself being lifted up by the very collar of my shirt and a MASSIVE voice yelling- Do you see that son!!!!" I looked down and it was WAY down and I saw it, the lake of fire! OH, the heat was so intense and then I see hands reaching up out of the fire as you could hear shrills and screams! I screamed, "AH!!!!!" and as I did I must have fallen out of my bed onto the floor of that truck! It woke me up and I was in sheets of sweat! I could still feel the heat and smell that horrible smoldering sulfur smell.
Then I laid there literally shaking like a life! I felt like this frightened boy. Then it all hit me all at once. Everyone I had ever wronged my entire life flashed before my very eyes and I felt their pain! I felt it from their side! I wept like a baby crying. I laid there wondering if I was being sent to hell. I laid there KNOWING I was so guilty. No church, no preachers, no little elderly ladies to scold me. Just God and me in the cab of that truck! So I prayed and I gave my life to HIM that day. It took God Almighty HIMSELF to do that. Later on, I was pulled into the terminal managers office and they said they were glad I survived the accidents but they had to let me go. I walked out and stood there in that drivers lounge area and I said to God; "OK Lord, you're the boss! From now on we go where you want me to go.". From there I moved on and never looked back again. I have been serving the Lord ever since.
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Reading this comment now and feel sick because of what that "PASTOR" said to your Dad. Wouldn't call him truly Christian let alone a supposed shepherd, your poor Father. Probably poor you and your siblings too.
Realised there's another comment of yours, will read that too. Ditto your taste in music, still love some of it, satanic influence is pervasive in rock but not all, love roots reggae, ska etc too. Think there's probably problems in your family going back forever sort of thing, also think God's kept his eye on you and waited until you were ready to hear. Amazing story, God's blessings and all that's good to you.
Realised there's another comment of yours, will read that too. Ditto your taste in music, still love some of it, satanic influence is pervasive in rock but not all, love roots reggae, ska etc too. Think there's probably problems in your family going back forever sort of thing, also think God's kept his eye on you and waited until you were ready to hear. Amazing story, God's blessings and all that's good to you.