How do I forgive?

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Jiggles

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I am sorry but I am having a hard time forgiving my husband's infidelities... how can God allow this to happen? What Am I supposed to get out of it? How do I forgive? I am so confused... I have been married for over 22 years and it seems he will never change. I feel so empty emotionally and I only wish God will help me cope with it.... God bless you all!
 
Oh my.... I have been there Jiggles not 22 years but 9 years I was with a guy that I thought would never cheat, never hurt me. He was my soul mate..he was the ying to my yang...or so I thought.... I realized I didn't know him at all. You know what else Jiggles? I realized he didn't deserve me. God didn't let this happen Satan did and your husband whom was give free will to make choices. If your husband has been unfaithful for so long, it is not healthy. You deserve better! If not wanting to let it be over maybe you can try counseling. For me no way once you cheat the trust is gone and you don't deserve diddly squat lol. Gl honey sincerely!
 
Yes I am Christian ZionGuitar, born again for the past 16 years.... Still hard to forgive.... Again...
You are right Trinity33, Satan is responsible... After all he is here to kill and destroy. See it is hard since I know he will never leave me, I know he loves me, he just needs that attention he gets elsewhere... I know he doesn't deserve me but he says he is sorry... He accepted Christ as a child but he really isn't thatChristian at all when it comes to other women. He is a good man but has his weaknesses... I am so confused... Im afraid it will happen again... It's been 9 times so far. :(
 
Dear Father In Heaven

Jinggles is asking How to Forgive? It is a really good question Father I ask that You please reveal to her how this is done. It is hard when the trust is gone. She has been brave and has stayed in the marriage and I ask that you help her with the answer she is seeking. Maybe part of the answer is in looking at the cross where Jesus hung and died for us while we were yet sinners. Jesus forgave us already before we even came to seek Him and ask for forgiveness. Please help us to understand how You could forgive us when we didn't even know we needed it. I know You will help her Father as she is Your child seeking the answer that You can give her. Thank You in Jesus Name Amen
 
We both know that GOD is not the author of this confusion; I understand that your husband has been cheating on you and this is not the first time.

So let me make sure I am correct some years ago a seed was planted in or amongst your family a seed of deceit, of adultry of covetness and the two of you watered it and watched it grow now it has grown so big you want to chop it down.

Ok my question is where is the root? If you’re not getting to the root how can you kill it?

Now since you and your hubby are as one and you watered this seed together removal should be the same way.

But if you start chopping at the tree please be aware that it is the roots of large trees that have destroyed many a foundation.
Find the root and forgiveness will come naturally as will healing and peace.


Ephesians 5 8For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10and find out what pleases the Lord. 11Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret.13But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. 14This is why it is said:
“Wake up, sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”
15Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. 18Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, 19speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord,20always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
[video=youtube_share;NHZZyNGvOVY]http://youtu.be/NHZZyNGvOVY?list=PLaOyTMCcfblYwNCCmI5r_IJcuupX5F6Z 8[/video]
 
How can God allow this to happen? This isn't Gods fault. It's your husbands fault. He's the one making the choices and he is the one leaving God out of it.
God gives free will. He doesn't control us. Doesn't make us do things. Your husband had a choice. God won't make him choose anything else.
You indicate that this isn't the first time (though you don't say that clearly). If you've forgiven him once before, and this is his second time, i can understand staying. But if he's cheated on you more than that then my question is why do you stay?
Forgiveness isn't always about forgetting and letting peoples behaviors go without consequence. It's about not holding resentment, anger and bitterness against them. You can forgive and still remember and use caution.
 
There is a deception going on that those who are cheated on have to forgive and stay with the person. If the person is truly repentant and delivered, the action will stop. I believe God will give you the answer. God freed me from a man that was unfaithful in other ways. When I listened to God, he set me free and showed me that man will never change. It took me years to forgive. But God helped me with it and I was not so hard on myself. God knows that you want to forgive. Sometimes you have to get away from the person in order to heal, to do that. I have since forgiven my ex, but I would never marry him again. Do you know that I spoke with him years after our divorce, and my ex revelaed to me that my suspicions and what he had done were even WORSE than what I found out. Even when my ex confessed all this to me, it did not mean that we were going to get back together. God had healed me of all of it. But, I could tell He had no interest in following the Lord at all. ps. he confessed all this to me, and married another woman and is still doing the same things to her. I tell you this because even in someone's confession, they still may be unable to stop 'being themselves'. GBU
 
If he is not following the Lord, he is in confusion. The U.S. is rampant with confusion and infedelity (in men and women). If he is not truly following the Lord, he will be influenced by the devil and unable to STAND. You may need to take some time away to get your mind clear. My ex was convinced he was a 'good person' and following God. As I got away from him, I realized he was the one who was confused!
 
Ugly;bt11468 said:
How can God allow this to happen? This isn't Gods fault. It's your husbands fault. He's the one making the choices and he is the one leaving God out of it.
God gives free will. He doesn't control us. Doesn't make us do things. Your husband had a choice. God won't make him choose anything else.
You indicate that this isn't the first time (though you don't say that clearly). If you've forgiven him once before, and this is his second time, i can understand staying. But if he's cheated on you more than that then my question is why do you stay?
Forgiveness isn't always about forgetting and letting peoples behaviors go without consequence. It's about not holding resentment, anger and bitterness against them. You can forgive and still remember and use caution.
Click to expand...
no she was clear Ugly he has been unfaithful 9 times :(
 
Thank you all for taking the time to write to me. It is very comforting to know that there are people out there that care. Sometimes I feel so alone in this but thru your posts I know God has his arms wrapped around me and will deliver me from my confusion and his heal me.
I have forgiven him since I have stayed here for so long, however I am troubled when it comes to being the loving wife God wants me to be. I feel so resentful towards him and scared he'll hurt me even more, but deep down I know I love him, that's why I have stayed. His cheating has been mostly emotional affairs that is why he isn't convinced it has been all wrong. The only time it got physical was with a prostitute 16 years ago, but this one is the one That has turned my life upside down since I just found out about it recently.
I know he will never leave me, but how can I take out this out from the root? His father did the same. Remarried, and still does it to his new wife.
When I have tried to leave he makes it so hard on me with the kids.
 
I am sorry you are going through all of this. Prostitution and cheating. Wow. your husband needs major help. I am curious about what kind of support YOU receive. Sounds like ur husband left you alone to deal with this. It's important you do not internalize or take his sins upon yourself. The bad root is in him, but sometimes we get messed up into other peoples problems, especially when it is your husband. Step outside the situation, and analyze how to get out. When I say, "get out", I mean separate yourself from his sin. I would recommend a support group or a trusted counselor who has dealt with women who have been married to men with these issuses. Keep seeking Godly counsel and get in person support. Of course we are not there with you, holding your hand, but I pray God plants someone in your life there to help you through this difficult time. GBU
 
[h=1]Galatians 5 The Message (MSG)[/h]13-15 It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don’t use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that’s how freedom grows. For everything we know about God’s Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out—in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then?
16-18 My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don’t you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?
19-21 It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.
This isn’t the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God’s kingdom.
 
You can't worry about him you can only pray for GOD to change him, the root I have spoken of is the one that ties you to his deceit, adultry, covetness once you kill this root in you then you're no longer attached to this tree. You no longer have to be the root in any of his destructive patterns remove yourself this way and allow GOD to cover you.

[h=1]John 15 New International Version (NIV)[/h][h=3]The Vine and the Branches[/h]15 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you.4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.


Praying for GOD open you up to HIS WONDERFUL LOVE AMAZING LOVE WHERE NO OTHER BEING CAN DESTROY.
 
first, he is sinning obviously and how can he stop? if he really LOOKS for god being a christian its not only sitting at church every sunday or just reading the word. a lot of people just pray to pray thinking GOD is santa. This is way more then that. HE DOES NOT GOD JESUS IN HIM and not im not judging but someone who is really PRAYING - FASTING - and not only reading the word but STUDYING them the enemy wont have such control in HIM ! thats not your husband is demons controlling him so he can keep failing god and then they can take his soul. He was to ask for forgiveness and make a life change for JESUS and THENNNNNNNNNN he will be the husband you need and as a woman you should also pray for him as much as you can ALL THE TIME for his freedom, so he can really come to GOD PRAY AND FAST for your husband become DEBORAH fight for his salvation never stop praying for him! do sacrifices for the lord fast as long as you can. remain under his grace and watch how the lord will change all the bad into GOOD. remember is a spiritual war. fight your blessings by fasting praying and reading the word
 
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