How would I know God wants me to be closer to him?
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whosever believes in him will have eternal life."
There is no greater love a person can have for their friend but to die for them.
The whole point of the cross is for God to communicate with you and me and everyone how much he wants us to know him and to let him lead us into life. The depth of this love and how it works in you takes time both to realise, to experience and to understand how much you hide, distrust, are hurt and abandoned inside yourself. Until you find out these truths, it is impossible for you to understand what Gods love is like, or how big and massive it really is.
I know what it is to live in a family where being honest and open emotionally did not exist, or how to express real love from the heart was not possible, and everyone was hidden and hurt, not knowing how to get out, which no one did.
But Jesus found me there, and spoke of love and understanding which I did not understand or know, but I felt it.
It took many years, a wife, a loving relationship, spiritual and emotional growth to begin to unlock this reality, so I know how hard life is, and what a puzzel it all appears to be.