how do i know if i really love my fiancee?

  • Thread starter Thread starter 12RenewedLove16
  • Start date Start date
  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
1

12RenewedLove16

Guest
at times i despise him for our past. im stuck in a fork in the road.
 
If you love Lord Jesus, then you would feel the same for your fiancee.
 
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."

God loved the whole world enough to die for the sins of the whole world. The bible says to love your enemies as yourself. We transgressed against God so badly and yet he still had the loving kindness to come to earth in human flesh, humbled as a man, devoting his whole life to healing and casting out demons and dying on the cross. So that, while we were yet sinners, we might be saved. If anything, you should forgive him, not because of the good that he has done but because of the good that God has done. People let us down, the only one who is the perfect bridegroom is Jesus.
 
its like the devil taunts me with all the bad memories of what it used to be before i took him to Christ I didnt want that in the end God question me for just letting him live the worldly life. i keep suffering straining my self day by day I know I love him because though we fight we cry and end in each others arms. How can i know for sure.
 
Love is an action. You have to Love someone. It's like if you were to hug someone. You can't hug someone unless you put your arms around them. You can't love someone unless you do something. The action of loving someone is something that you have to work on, it's not something that you just have.
 
To focus on the future, you have to learn from and forgive the past. Hate, anger, distrust are negitive blockers of the most positive feeling you can produce, love. If you both feel the same way about the past then you should have no problem putting it behind you both.
 
My mother is bi-polar and my dad stayed with her through a lot of crazy stuff. My mom told my dad that she hated him all of the time but my dad stayed with her. My dad had hope in God, that God would bring him through that and that eventually everything would settle down. The point is that Love "agape" Is non-circumstantial. It doesn't matter what the person does or even how the person is, it's because you choose to love them in spite of their many imperfections.
 
Joshua175 said:
Love is an action. You have to Love someone. It's like if you were to hug someone. You can't hug someone unless you put your arms around them. You can't love someone unless you do something. The action of loving someone is something that you have to work on, it's not something that you just have.
Click to expand...

You cannot love God and Love the world. Loving God is the only true unconditional Love as it cannot be tainted by desires or needs. God will only ever give you what he believes you need. I agree that Loving someone is something you have to work on and like a good wine it matures and grows with time. Love should be like a very strong unwanting admiration. And if you are in Love you throw in bucket loads of affection.
 
Joshua175 said:
My mother is bi-polar and my dad stayed with her through a lot of crazy stuff. My mom told my dad that she hated him all of the time but my dad stayed with her. My dad had hope in God, that God would bring him through that and that eventually everything would settle down. The point is that Love "agape" Is non-circumstantial. It doesn't matter what the person does or even how the person is, it's because you choose to love them in spite of their many imperfections.
Click to expand...

I agree with you. I was married to someone who was bi-polar, and it was a VERY rough road to walk everyday. :( BUT, it was a choice.
When he filed for divorce, I contested it because I am told in scripture to LOVE him not with a conditional love, but with a love that is forgiving as God forgives us. (Gosh there were days/weeks where that was crazy tough!)

BUT, this young lady is NOT married yet. If there is things from the past that are unresolved in her mind....then they will keep creeping up, and more than likely damage the marriage later on.
It is a very tough standard to hold herself to, and him.

My suggestion to you concerning your relationship with you and your fiance' is this.... DO NOT RUSH IT. The pastor that is marrying you will probably have you do some pre-marital counceling with him.....I suggest you speak to him about this. It may be frightening to bring it up...but you can't live like this everyday, and you can't expect your finance' to (as your husband) with all these things floating around that he has no control over since they are from the past.

I *rushed* into my marriage because of circumstances, and because of the *worry* and pressure of what people would think. :( Being where I am now, I can tell you it was one of the stupidest things I have ever done in my life....simply because I am smarter than that.

I hope you do not walk this same road just because it is what everyone is expecting you to do now. Giving it some time will help you stay true to yourself, and to heal from those things that creep up from the past. This will only strengthen your marriage in the future!

Blessings.
 
the past is simply that...history. while i feel everyone is capable of changing their ways, some just don't have any desire to and therefore are more likely to stay just as they are. on the other hand, it's our pasts that have gotten us to where we are today and that can be such a beautiful thing in itself. experiences, good and bad, have a way of molding us into wanting to be better ppl and actually fulfilling that desire.

not sure exactly what your situation is all about, but if you can't look beyond his yesterdays, you've both got alot to discuss and you definitely need closure
 
You may just love his as a brother. You know you can help a person a lot better when you are not emotionally attached to them. I dated a guy for 9-months, he is a super nice guy, but I chose to pull back the camera and look at the big picture. and what I found out was that he was not motivated to get a good paying job with benefits, his love was very immature. socially is was extreamly shy, not good at conversation.

You have to look at all the aspects, if there is something that you just don't like about the person, you just don't like the person. and that o.k. ask yourself, "would I like to spend the rest of my life with this person" be honest with yourself, ask God to help you to see the truth. Was your boyfriend raise with a good solid father and mother figure, if one of those is lacking, beware, you will have problems. This is a fact. a boy, that isn't raised with a good father figure has a more sissie personality. The boy gets his personality by interacting with dad. Girls servive without a father figure - but not boys, they don't do well.

Don't just look at one thing, and if he tries to talk you into staying with him .......run. he's dependent. no good.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back