How do you get over someone?

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xXErraticEmilyXx

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I'm writing an essay for my English class and i'm interested in hearing different coping mechanisms. What helps you?
 
Having some kind of closure definitely helps for me. Talking about about what happened and why things didn't work. That probably gives me the most peace. If it's not a possibility though, I find it easiest to just avoid the person for a good amount of time, the more contact the harder it is to forget about it and move on.
 
Time. The process for me is like grieving a death. I'm not big on talking about all my feelings, but eventually enough time passes to where thinking about the person isn't like ripping a band-aid off of a wound.
 
I guess that doesn't answer your question about coping mechanisms...I tend to either isolate myself and avoid everyone, OR I put all of the feelings aside if I'm around people, like everything's okay.
 
I'm not sure we ever get over losing some people. I still carry everyone I've ever loved in my heart and pray for them.

If we lose someone we love (and who loved us) to death, we eventually come to understand that even though it feels as if our life is over, it isn't. God has a way of giving us purpose if we seek that purpose. And I agree with Hellooo that time brings healing...and perspective.

If we are talking about breakups, for me, it's about choosing to remember the good things about them and learning from the things that didn't work in a relationship. If things don't work out, there is a reason for it. I usually try to find and learn from that reason.
 
I thought i heard it from you girls that all you have to do is talk amongst your girlfriends about a guy and you'll sort him out. Anyway, my advice is to just to give time!
 
Ugh! lol...you just eventually do. Depending how much you were invested into that person,sometimes it can take quite awhile.
 
People who we date that we admire typically reflect qualities and values that we either already have and, in seeking commonality, gravitate toward, have qualities we lack, and have qualities that lie dormant within us. If you date someone like this, getting over them is nigh on impossible.

It's been a year and a half and I'm still not really over her. Nevertheless, the first step for me was embracing what she brought out of me. It's helped too, go figure.
 
Closure is really important I had a girl do it over the phone and that was awkward...but in person its normally easier. A few cold ones can help too lol
 
Hellooo said:
Time. The process for me is like grieving a death. I'm not big on talking about all my feelings, but eventually enough time passes to where thinking about the person isn't like ripping a band-aid off of a wound.
Click to expand...

ive been in love once (when i wasnt living for God). i also felt like i was grieving a death. it was intense. like my soul was being torn out from me...it was like that for me until some time later, i had an encounter with God one night while smoking a cig (sep 27th 2010), i gave Him my life, and I was delivered from the serious things that were tormenting me, instantly* (including the soul tie i had with my ex girlfriend (yes, i was in a homosexual relationship for a few years)..the way God moved in my life...i honestly dont have the words to describe it.....He truly saved me from myself in so many ways.
 
Don't let grass grow under my feet. I put it behind me quickly and swiftly. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is to come.
 
Climbing with your hands and feet, ladder, pole vaulting... :P

I have never been in this situation. But I think most likely it would be time away from her if it happened to me. IMO, people get caught up in emotion and when you depart yourself from it, you can think things through clearly and realise what matters and what does not.
 
Ecclesiastes 3: There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

[SUP]2 [/SUP] a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
[SUP]3 [/SUP] a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
[SUP]4 [/SUP] a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
[SUP]5 [/SUP] a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
[SUP]6 [/SUP] a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
[SUP]7 [/SUP] a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
[SUP]8 [/SUP] a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
 
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