How do you keep waiting?

[jax]

I've been divorced for six years now. I haven't dated much and I'm wanting to wait for God to send me my mate, but, I'm having a hard time. The loneliness is creeping in, and a lil bit of envy (I know that is wrong) when I see family and friends with their mates. So, what do you do while waiting? And what if you end up waiting forever? Is it ok to look for someone , because I hear all the time that it happens when you aren't expecting it....

 

[jjones76]

That is a hard one!! I understand what you mean about being envious (your human, don't beat yourself up over it). When I'm at church, and see all the married couples holding hands, and appear to be so happy...it stings just a bit. All I know to do is to keep praying. I don't see any harm in asking someone out if you are interested, I just wouldn't settle for anyone because of lonliness though. Only ask out people you know has the values you are looking for. It's much easier being a woman in some regards, because I'm pretty old fashioned and don't ask guys out...so if they don't ask me, I'm not going anywhere

 

[FixYourWeave]

This is how i like to wait...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................are you still waiting?......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

[dothackzero]

I mostly keep waiting because I have no chace. It will be worth it when I finally do get a girlfriend right?

 

[jax]

No I wouldn't ask a guy out either, I'm way old fashioned in that regard lol

 

[greatkraw]

if you asked dot out he wouldnt go so dont bother

 

[jax]

lol no worries, im a lil too old for him *wink*

 

[Girl_22]

I don't think I would ask a guy out I am very very shy and don't really talk to people that much in church and I'm not around guys that much. I was teased a lot in high school and never had a boyfriend until now. Pagie (Jordan) was the only guy that ever liked me and I'm afraid that not other guy is going to like me. I met him on Christian chat in the chat room and now we broke up and hes going back home to australia but we are going to stay friends and talk on msn messenger and write emails.

 

[BellaFlor]

Cheer up, Girl_22!

I am sure there is someone out there for you. That it didn't go so well with this one guy, doesn't means that you will never meet someone else that will stay with you for sure. One has to keep the faith, trusting and waiting for God's Timing. Perhaps God is protecting you a lot from wrong guys since the past, just because He wants you to have the Best? When the Right Timing is there, You will meet your Mr. Right, and he will find you the most beautiful woman that there is on this earth.

Besides, I to got a lot bullied and treated bad at school, but still I kept the faith about that there were someone special out there for me, and for my waiting God rewarded me at last, and now I am married to my Mr. Right.

 

[BellaFlor]

I've been divorced for six years now. I haven't dated much and I'm wanting to wait for God to send me my mate, but, I'm having a hard time. The loneliness is creeping in, and a lil bit of envy (I know that is wrong) when I see family and friends with their mates. So, what do you do while waiting? And what if you end up waiting forever? Is it ok to look for someone , because I hear all the time that it happens when you aren't expecting it....

I understand how hard it can be waiting a lot for a mate to come. I were waiting all the time for my future husband to come, and praying to God...

But like you, after many years it got very hard, and I could also feel a lot lonely even when I was with good friends. And I prayed telling God to let me meet him soon. I don't think it is wrong to go looking for someone, because you never know if God might lead you both together through a special forum, going to play bowling, going to a trainingcenter, or just plain going to a Cafe. I was very interested in Christian metalheads with long hair, so I started going to such forums, and in one of them I met my future husband. As long as you don't get to desperate and just pick the first and best guy you meet, though. God has to be involved if it is to work.

What if you are waiting forever? Well, you only have to keep on trusting God. And if you don't want to continue living your life like a single woman, then I am sure God might have someone else out there for you. Still, no matter how long it might seem like with your waiting, to keep trusting God is the best one can do. Imagine how Noah must have felt when he build The Ark? I don't know if he always felt pleasent with it, nor comfortable when other people probably made fun of him, but still, he kept on trusting God.

I do also beleive that this often happens when you least expect it, I didn't expected my future husband to send me a message on phone when I was about to have my "anti-man" period just because I was tired of getting upset and disappointed with men in general. And well, after that everything started building up more.

 

[BellaFlor]

I mostly keep waiting because I have no chace. It will be worth it when I finally do get a girlfriend right?

What does it mean having no chace? And btw, it is all worth it waiting for the right girl for you. Waiting on God's Timing for you and your choicen one is the best choice made, and it is so special experiencing everything together for the first time. It is all worth it, and you will not regret it. Also keeping yourself pure and virgin till untill marriage, is a wonderful gift given to your future wife. I beleive many regret that they didn't wait for the right one, because it is even more special, blessed and rewarded for the one who waits.

 

[dothackzero]

I meant I have no choice. But yeah, of course I'm gonna be waitin till married for sex. I just meant, I have no choice in waiting for a girlfriend, and even if I wasn't waiting on God's timing I'd still be single..

 

[Moviefan2k4]

OK, I'm probably going to tick off a few folks with this post, but trust me when I say it is not deliberate by any means.

(inhales deeply)

I do not believe that God expects us to sit around and do nothing, while He magically brings us a spouse.

It surprises me how many honestly think exactly that, and all they need to do is "trust God", while He does all the work. I have two main questions about that:

1) How does that teach us anything about how to form lasting relationships?

2) If all God wanted was for us to just wait, until some far-off future moment, never making a single move towards that goal on our own...would that help us to learn about responsibility or being proactive?

Now, please understand - I am not saying that God doesn't guide people together, in his own way, time, and place. But I do not believe He's going to just hand us our "soulmate" (which isn't even a Biblical concept, by the way), while we do absolutely nothing. That doesn't seem like faith to me at all, but rather fear. It may sound tired, but its still true: "If you're going to learn to swim, you have to jump in the water". God will not push or force you, and He does expect you to trust His love, will, and guidance...but the ball's in your court.

 

[dothackzero]

I've gotta agree with moviefan.

 

[biggentleben]

a farmer doesn't plant seed and fertilize the soil after the rains come...the intention is to prepare for the upcoming season...we should be spending our time focused on building our relationship with Christ, but not rejecting the idea of a date just because we want God to plant some perfect mate in our laps....corn doesn't show up magically in october to be harvested...it takes time, care, and love to grow to fruition and yield all the benefits that it can...tend to your stalk and let the ears grow...i truly believe God has something He's intending to teach us in our singleness, and there's a reason for this season of life...spend the time pursuing Him during this season, not worrying about the next!

 

[ghreyz]

i do agree with moviefan and biggentleben, you guyz got a point.
for me,as a girls and old fashioned one it doesn't apply but i'm not saying i'm gonna wait in vain. old advise from a friend be socialize, who knows in one event you'll meet the person that God given you.

 

[kristinei]

I do not believe that God expects us to sit around and do nothing, while He magically brings us a spouse.

It surprises me how many honestly think exactly that, and all they need to do is "trust God", while He does all the work. I have two main questions about that:

1) How does that teach us anything about how to form lasting relationships?

2) If all God wanted was for us to just wait, until some far-off future moment, never making a single move towards that goal on our own...would that help us to learn about responsibility or being proactive?
.

how are u waiting then? what moves do u do? just curious...

 

[Moviefan2k4]

How are u waiting then?

Well, at this point of my life there's part of my past that needs finishing, a "door to be shut" if you will. My ex-girlfriend and I really tore each other apart a few years ago, and we haven't spoken since. After meeting with a Christian counselor for almost a year, I realized that I need answers only she can give, and without them I can't move forward. I've told God out front in prayer, "If it's at all possible for the two of us (me and my ex) to start over, and have another crack at this with You at the center, that's what I ask for. But if not, then please give me the peace I seek, so I'm not chained to the past anymore."

What moves do u do?

What do you mean by this? I find it rather confusing.

 

[kristinei]

2) If all God wanted was for us to just wait, until some far-off future moment, never making a single move towards that goal on our own...would that help us to learn about responsibility or being proactive?

But I do not believe He's going to just hand us our "soulmate" (which isn't even a Biblical concept, by the way), while we do absolutely nothing. That doesn't seem like faith to me at all, but rather fear. It may sound tired, but its still true: "If you're going to learn to swim, you have to jump in the water". God will not push or force you, and He does expect you to trust His love, will, and guidance...but the ball's in your court.

u said we should do something instead of just wait for a person to come along.... i was asking if u attend some occasions to meet someone or try online dating..

 

[Moviefan2k4]

As I've mentioned in a couple of other threads, there's a "door" in my past that needs closing, so that's what my focus is on at the moment in this regard. Once that's finished, I can move forward...but the last thing i want to do is go chasing after a new relationship, when questions about an old one remain unanswered.