How do you lead your family back to God, when your wife divorces you?

[JobWasRight]

Hey all. Heavy topic for a first one. My wife divorced me a little over a year and a half ago. It's amicable and we were able to work out things without a court and fights. She got very into feminism, witchcraft, and anti-Christian social justice towards the end. I was (wrongly) trying to hold onto her, and so drifted from my faith. Now, I'm trying to lead my family back to church, but it's hard. I have 5 kids. They are out of the habit of church attendance. I tried forcing them (on my time) but the older ones dragged their heels, and some of the younger put a mighty protest. I have started regular mealtimes, with family prayer. I tuck in the younger ones with prayers, and have a daily sit-down with the older ones, where I talk about wisdom and end it prayer. I'm starting a Bible study in my home. We'll see how that goes.

I'm not sure if this is totally a question or just me looking for someone to talk to. It's lonely out here. I miss having a wife to talk to. Suggestions and comments appreciated. I have 5 kids. I have them week on, week off.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

Hey all. Heavy topic for a first one. My wife divorced me a little over a year and a half ago. It's amicable and we were able to work out things without a court and fights. She got very into feminism, witchcraft, and anti-Christian social justice towards the end. I was (wrongly) trying to hold onto her, and so drifted from my faith. Now, I'm trying to lead my family back to church, but it's hard. I have 5 kids. They are out of the habit of church attendance. I tried forcing them (on my time) but the older ones dragged their heels, and some of the younger put a mighty protest. I have started regular mealtimes, with family prayer. I tuck in the younger ones with prayers, and have a daily sit-down with the older ones, where I talk about wisdom and end it prayer. I'm starting a Bible study in my home. We'll see how that goes.

I'm not sure if this is totally a question or just me looking for someone to talk to. It's lonely out here. I miss having a wife to talk to. Suggestions and comments appreciated. I have 5 kids. I have them week on, week off.

I commend you for taking steps to raise them in the love and admonition of the Lord.
There's no greater blessing than leading your children to Christ.
Get them saved now and they will belong to God the rest of their lives.
He has given you these wonderful blessings as well as challenges to raise as you know how. You are the parent and they are your ministry. >This <is exactly where to start.
Listen once, twice, three times and then take notes. Then preach/ teach it to them. You will have already fasted and begged God to speak to them and give you power. Expect Him to do what He promises. John 16:8-11.
Then remember, greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.

After each one gets saved, I'll help with the next step they will take as newborn babes in Christ. John 3

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

Hey all. Heavy topic for a first one. My wife divorced me a little over a year and a half ago. It's amicable and we were able to work out things without a court and fights. She got very into feminism, witchcraft, and anti-Christian social justice towards the end. I was (wrongly) trying to hold onto her, and so drifted from my faith. Now, I'm trying to lead my family back to church, but it's hard. I have 5 kids. They are out of the habit of church attendance. I tried forcing them (on my time) but the older ones dragged their heels, and some of the younger put a mighty protest. I have started regular mealtimes, with family prayer. I tuck in the younger ones with prayers, and have a daily sit-down with the older ones, where I talk about wisdom and end it prayer. I'm starting a Bible study in my home. We'll see how that goes.

I'm not sure if this is totally a question or just me looking for someone to talk to. It's lonely out here. I miss having a wife to talk to. Suggestions and comments appreciated. I have 5 kids. I have them week on, week off.

Good first steps. Try to find a church with activities that make them want to get involved. Host church friends, or youth groups at your home if you are able. Get an easy to read Bible. I grew up in church and was surrounded by church folk. We had one family that had a cabin at the beach and they would host the youth there from time to time. Once they begin making friends and get into activities I believe they will enjoy it.

 

[JohnDB]

Hey all. Heavy topic for a first one. My wife divorced me a little over a year and a half ago. It's amicable and we were able to work out things without a court and fights. She got very into feminism, witchcraft, and anti-Christian social justice towards the end. I was (wrongly) trying to hold onto her, and so drifted from my faith. Now, I'm trying to lead my family back to church, but it's hard. I have 5 kids. They are out of the habit of church attendance. I tried forcing them (on my time) but the older ones dragged their heels, and some of the younger put a mighty protest. I have started regular mealtimes, with family prayer. I tuck in the younger ones with prayers, and have a daily sit-down with the older ones, where I talk about wisdom and end it prayer. I'm starting a Bible study in my home. We'll see how that goes.

I'm not sure if this is totally a question or just me looking for someone to talk to. It's lonely out here. I miss having a wife to talk to. Suggestions and comments appreciated. I have 5 kids. I have them week on, week off.

Yeah....
The roar of silence on those particular Sunday nights is deafening. Hated it with a passion.

Your life with your ex-wife is over. But your opportunity for a new life without her is here. You just have to grab ahold of it. Fellowship with other believers is nice. Hanging out with the guys is always fun.

Teenagers are always going to be difficult....nature of the beast of their age. But you can speak life into them. Ask questions instead of lecturing. And Church services, to them, is no different from a lot of boring lectures about stuff they don't know or care about.

Find out about their boyfriends and girlfriends. Find out about their "BFFs"....enjoy their lives and how they are shaping their years to come. Ask more questions....what they think, what they feel. Don't be afraid to share what you feel at times (age appropriate of course) with the kids.

Do ALL you can with the kids....they all will grow up, blame you vocally for imagined or real parenting failures, but somehow remember your Netflix/Amazon account password.

Then when they hit 35-40 something you will become great again.

But in the meantime....go make friends with others as much as possible. Live a life worth envy, rich in deep and meaningful friendships....also as wide as possible. Learn to make gingerbread. So you can make a gingerbread house for Christmas so the kids can help you cover it with candy and frosting. (What kid doesn't like that?)
Don't be afraid of failure....just add dinosaurs if need be.

Because as time goes by....and your ex-wife goes crazy bit by bit....more crazy as time goes by they will need their dad to be their rock. And she most definitely will become more nuts as time goes by. (There's a reason why I do know even if i am not there)

Birthdays and other milestones of your 5 kids is fun and good times. Look at things from their perspective....I know that you are still reeling from the divorce but so are they and THEY NEED YOU MORE THAN EVER!....

So be the safe fortress in the storms that are coming. Not a different storm for them to suffer through as they shift between homes.

My son used to grab a porkchop on his way out the door for his mother's house and say "porkchop for the road" because his mother couldn't really cook well at all.
That's the sort of thing you want. Them grabbing something from your home to remind them that above all the craziness of parents being divorced their father loves them and that love is unwavering no matter what.

Kids are funny...they won't care about anything you say until it finally registers that you care about them as a person....instead of the image they project of "your child". That your greatest wish is for them to be happy, healthy, and whole.

It's strange how that thought happens in their juvenile minds....but it always does.

There are no easy answers for your dilemma. The "easy" answer was way back when you chose a wife who really was not a Christian to begin with....but deep down you knew you were. That shipped sailed.

This isn't exactly the life you wanted but it's the life you gotta make the best possible out of.

 

[Edward429451]

Hey all. Heavy topic for a first one. My wife divorced me a little over a year and a half ago. It's amicable and we were able to work out things without a court and fights. She got very into feminism, witchcraft, and anti-Christian social justice towards the end. I was (wrongly) trying to hold onto her, and so drifted from my faith. Now, I'm trying to lead my family back to church, but it's hard. I have 5 kids. They are out of the habit of church attendance. I tried forcing them (on my time) but the older ones dragged their heels, and some of the younger put a mighty protest. I have started regular mealtimes, with family prayer. I tuck in the younger ones with prayers, and have a daily sit-down with the older ones, where I talk about wisdom and end it prayer. I'm starting a Bible study in my home. We'll see how that goes.

I'm not sure if this is totally a question or just me looking for someone to talk to. It's lonely out here. I miss having a wife to talk to. Suggestions and comments appreciated. I have 5 kids. I have them week on, week off.

If they are resistant to you about God then the only meaningful thing you can do is pray for them and get so close to God yourself that the kids can see Him in you.

 

[Bingo]

I have surely learned that love is the greatest resource,
and to be the example and not the problem is a sound endeavor
in a troublesome family issue.

 

[Edith]

Hello and Welcome to CC,
I think you are on the right track. Just keep going. As you hold on to our Lord the Christ, He will see you through.

 

[AmandaLW]

Hey all. Heavy topic for a first one. My wife divorced me a little over a year and a half ago. It's amicable and we were able to work out things without a court and fights. She got very into feminism, witchcraft, and anti-Christian social justice towards the end. I was (wrongly) trying to hold onto her, and so drifted from my faith. Now, I'm trying to lead my family back to church, but it's hard. I have 5 kids. They are out of the habit of church attendance. I tried forcing them (on my time) but the older ones dragged their heels, and some of the younger put a mighty protest. I have started regular mealtimes, with family prayer. I tuck in the younger ones with prayers, and have a daily sit-down with the older ones, where I talk about wisdom and end it prayer. I'm starting a Bible study in my home. We'll see how that goes.

I'm not sure if this is totally a question or just me looking for someone to talk to. It's lonely out here. I miss having a wife to talk to. Suggestions and comments appreciated. I have 5 kids. I have them week on, week off.

Good Evening,
If you need someone to talk to, I’m here. I too need a friend. I have two kids myself who don’t believe in God and we can talk about that or anything else too. I’m pretty much an open book so ask me anything or share anything you want. My name is Amanda.

 

[AmandaLW]

Hey all. Heavy topic for a first one. My wife divorced me a little over a year and a half ago. It's amicable and we were able to work out things without a court and fights. She got very into feminism, witchcraft, and anti-Christian social justice towards the end. I was (wrongly) trying to hold onto her, and so drifted from my faith. Now, I'm trying to lead my family back to church, but it's hard. I have 5 kids. They are out of the habit of church attendance. I tried forcing them (on my time) but the older ones dragged their heels, and some of the younger put a mighty protest. I have started regular mealtimes, with family prayer. I tuck in the younger ones with prayers, and have a daily sit-down with the older ones, where I talk about wisdom and end it prayer. I'm starting a Bible study in my home. We'll see how that goes.

I'm not sure if this is totally a question or just me looking for someone to talk to. It's lonely out here. I miss having a wife to talk to. Suggestions and comments appreciated. I have 5 kids. I have them week on, week off.

Just curious, Your profile says that you are a female who is separated from her husband. Why does this not match your posted story?

 

[SomeDisciple]

It sounds like they already reject you as leader; so, you're not going to lead them except by example. Be the example. And it can't be as a pretense just to get your family back together either; you have to be comfortable with the possibility that they might never want to and there's nothing you can do about that yourself.
Feminism gives women a iron wiil; but it also makes them stupid, because it goes against nature. Tolerating feminist hypocrisy can become an arduous labor; but young people tend to pick up on the hypocrisy of older adults fairly quick; which could work in your favor.

 

[Doll]

Hey all. Heavy topic for a first one. My wife divorced me a little over a year and a half ago. It's amicable and we were able to work out things without a court and fights. She got very into feminism, witchcraft, and anti-Christian social justice towards the end. I was (wrongly) trying to hold onto her, and so drifted from my faith. Now, I'm trying to lead my family back to church, but it's hard. I have 5 kids. They are out of the habit of church attendance. I tried forcing them (on my time) but the older ones dragged their heels, and some of the younger put a mighty protest. I have started regular mealtimes, with family prayer. I tuck in the younger ones with prayers, and have a daily sit-down with the older ones, where I talk about wisdom and end it prayer. I'm starting a Bible study in my home. We'll see how that goes.

I'm not sure if this is totally a question or just me looking for someone to talk to. It's lonely out here. I miss having a wife to talk to. Suggestions and comments appreciated. I have 5 kids. I have them week on, week off.

As long as you share joint custody your kids are going to be living in divided religious and social ideologies.

You can't force your kids to hold strictly to your faith.

What you can do is create in your home the environment that upholds Christ and his teachings.
Bible study is a great start.

Also,remember,you divorced amicably. Keep that separation the same. Don't condemn your ex-wife's new life and lifestyle to your kids. Or in front of them.

That's Mom. Doing that can lead them to think they have to pick a side. And that's never a good thing.

You were in love with her once. And you still love her as mother of your children.

They'll be exposed to her new life when living with her.

This is an opportunity to learn how to put what they learn about God and the Gospel into their everyday experience.
They'll see through the environment you create what the opposite lifestyle and ideology is in comparison.

And,if they are clad in the armor of Christ, they'll do just fine. Because they are,and should always,love and respect you and their mom.

Praying for all of you.

 

[JobWasRight]

Just curious, Your profile says that you are a female who is separated from her husband. Why does this not match your posted story?

Good question. I am new to this site. Just checking it again today. Pretty busy with my kids. I am a male, and not sure how to change that in the app. Pretty sure I entered it right the first time.

There is no option for divorced in this app, separated is the most accurate description.

Curious why the creators of the app made the decision to exclude divorced people from the description. But anyway, here we are.