How hard is it to find a Christian girl that's my age that's a virgin.

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My question is this:

Are you going to completely rule out any girl who isn't a virgin? What if she became a Christian later in life after she'd already had sex? Isn't that why Christ died, to forgive us of our sins.. to wash away our iniquities so we are no longer bound by them?

What if the girl you meet has come out of a broken marriage, or what if her husband died and she was widowed. What if that same girl who is no longer married (for whatever reason) had been a virgin when she married and had only had sex with her husband.. what.. and now you can't possibly love her because she's had sex?

You are entirely missing the point my friend. It's admirable that you want a girl who has saved herself, and it's a very special gift that a wife can give to her husband. There is nothing wrong with wanting this, but do not overlook every girl who may not fall into this box you've checked for yourself.

Are those girls supposed to be kicked to the corner and rejected because of a mistake in their past? What if God viewed us that way? If He did, EVERY ONE of us would be rejected. None of us would know the redemption and freedom that comes through Christ, because EVERY ONE of us is a sinner.

So, while I think it's a wonderful thing to aim for, I encourage you not to hold it as a necessity. You might meet a wonderful godly girl who would make you a fantastic wife, but she may not be a virgin. At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself is it really that big a deal? If it was a mistake in her past and she has moved on, she has sought forgivness, she has turned from that path and lived a Godly life since, could you not still fall in love with her? Sorry, but in my opinion, you are being very shallow if you feel you simply cannot ever love a woman who is not a virgin.
 
My advice to you, being in similar situation of that every christian girl I meet has no done the deed, if not multiple times, is this:

You need to know her heart, whether it be just for a relationship or intention to marry, if she had that kid before she was a christian or even if she had the kid as a christian, has she repented?? not that the kid's a mistake (NO KID IS A MISTAKE!), but she might have fallen short as we all do and now that is her situation, we cannot judge on the cover of a book, so what I suggest is, get to know her, find out about her and pray, cause God will tell you what to do :)
 
Also, I did forget to mention in my previous post - take the example of Ruth and Boaz - Ruth, who had previously been happily married, would obviously not have been a virgin, however, Boaz still loved her and took her as his wife. my point in this is that, both partners don't have to be virgin's to have a Godly, happy relationship :)
 
"How hard is it to find a Christian girl that's my age that's a virgin."

would you blame someone who was raped for not being a virgin?
 
iraasuup said:
My question is this:

Are you going to completely rule out any girl who isn't a virgin? What if she became a Christian later in life after she'd already had sex? Isn't that why Christ died, to forgive us of our sins.. to wash away our iniquities so we are no longer bound by them?

What if the girl you meet has come out of a broken marriage, or what if her husband died and she was widowed. What if that same girl who is no longer married (for whatever reason) had been a virgin when she married and had only had sex with her husband.. what.. and now you can't possibly love her because she's had sex?

You are entirely missing the point my friend. It's admirable that you want a girl who has saved herself, and it's a very special gift that a wife can give to her husband. There is nothing wrong with wanting this, but do not overlook every girl who may not fall into this box you've checked for yourself.

Are those girls supposed to be kicked to the corner and rejected because of a mistake in their past? What if God viewed us that way? If He did, EVERY ONE of us would be rejected. None of us would know the redemption and freedom that comes through Christ, because EVERY ONE of us is a sinner.

So, while I think it's a wonderful thing to aim for, I encourage you not to hold it as a necessity. You might meet a wonderful godly girl who would make you a fantastic wife, but she may not be a virgin. At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself is it really that big a deal? If it was a mistake in her past and she has moved on, she has sought forgivness, she has turned from that path and lived a Godly life since, could you not still fall in love with her? Sorry, but in my opinion, you are being very shallow if you feel you simply cannot ever love a woman who is not a virgin.
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I can accept a girl that isn't a virgin as long she doesn't have like HIV or something like that. I know girl have made mistakes in there past and I can forgive that. My point that everyone keeps missing is that a virgin is a major prefrence for me. Really the only thing bugs me(other than any stds) is that fact that another man has entered those places.
 
If he wants to marry a virgin, let him look for his virgin. If he doesn't find her, or meets someone who isn't a virgin who catches his attention, it'll be up to him to deal with that when it comes. It's HIS choice. It's not a sin for him to want to marry a virgin. That doesn't make him a bad person either. He has stated why he feels how he does. He's being honest about it. If people get offended by it, which seems to be happening, that's their issue.

I don't think y'all are going to beat him into submission and change his mind.
If he feels he can't marry a girl who isn't a virgin, then he doesn't need to. It wouldn't be fair to her or him to get into a marriage and then realize he can't handle that.
 
I have to agree with niceguyj. This is something that's been on my mind for a couple of days. We often expect people to mature at the rate WE think they should and be as thoughtful/respectful as WE think they should in ways that WE think they should rather than allowing the Holy Spirit and life to bring about those changes. I'm thankful that God is more patient with ME than I am with others at times. :)

Dot, you have come a long way over the past year or so. I believe that God is doing a tremendous work in you. As you begin to spend time with ladies, I think you will learn and be open to things you may never have before. Maybe not. But, that's ultimately your business as long as you don't treat others badly who don't live up to your standards, which is what I really think most people were actually getting at more than whether you should marry a virgin or not. :)
 
I see both sides of the coin, but am speaking purely from the heart of a girl.

If guys can learn any one thing at all about a girl is that it is her natural desire to be loved. Truly loved. Loved for who she is completely. A girl needs to know that her guy thinks she is the most beautiful woman in the world, even when she's feeling her worst. She needs to know her guy will always look at her heart and love her for who she is, regardless of her mistakes, because she will have made mistakes (and continue to, and will probably at some point let her guy down). She needs to know he will love her ans support her through tough times, and good times. She needs intimacy and security. We all know how love is described in the bible, patient, kind, longsuffering, KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS, endures to the very end.

The reason I say all of this, is because (a) I am a girl, and (b) I am a girl who has been in a marriage where I was anything but loved. I was forced to constantly strive for attention, I wasn't pretty enough, thin enough, didn't have good enough hair or a big enough chest, I didn't do enough around the house, or cook the healthiest meals. I was too messy.. bla bla bla. Not once did he tell me I was beautiful, I had to force him to tell me he loved me... only to find out now he never really did. He had made his share of mistakes, as had I, but for some reason I could love him unconditionally, and he couldn't look past what he saw as my flaws. I was emotionally abused for 7 years. I held down a job and kept a roof over our heads, he sat at home and complained about life. He refused to allow us to have children, but demanded more sex, it was just one thng after another. I wanted to work our marriage out, but he had no desire. He wanted out, and he doesnt even want to try. He says never loved me, and that he has moved on... and by moved on I mean with the internet flousys he communicates with through online profiles...while we're still legally married. Sex to him was just that, sex. I was there to please him when the need arose. There was no love, no intimacy. I felt used the whole time. I tried so many times to talk to him, to encourage him, and try to 'connect' and develop intimacy in that area of our lives. It never happened. I only felt guilt... from him because apparently that too (the sex) was never good enough.

Why am I telling you this? Because I am a woman like any other who has made her share of mistakes. Yes, I was a virgin when I married, but obviously Im not anymore (I saved myself for man I thought would love me and value me as his wife, but clearly didnt). Yes, I allowed myself to love him, and now I'm paying the price and enduring the pain. Does that mean I'm eternally destined to live a single life. Does my past mean no Godly man can ever really show me what true love is?

Guys need respect, just like girls need love. A woman is going to find it extremely hard to respect a guy whom she feels doesn't love her, and the reverse could be said. How can a guy fully love a girl who doesn't respect him? The two things go hand in hand in any relationship. I (just like every other woman on the planet) crave to be fully loved, loved in a way I never have been, in a way I've never experienced by a man who loves God with everything he is. I want to find a guy whom I can love and fully respect as my husband. I want to know what that is like, and experience love the way God intended it to be. Is there anything wrong with that? I don't think so. But it seems like this thread is saying otherwise.

My point to all of this, is, as humans we all make mistakes, but it shouldn't devalue us. It shouldn't make us unworthy of another human beings love. Loving the unlovable, the hurting, the suffering is exactly what our mandate is from God. Why do we find it easy to look past the mistakes of others around us, and preach how they can have freedom and forgiveness, but we can't look past a potential spouse's shortcomings in their past... can they not have that same freedom and forgiveness?

I'm not offended by Dothackzeros desire. I understand it, and I think it's a wonderful thing to strive for, but I'm showing the flipside of the equation, and trying to shed a little 'reality' light on the situation. I'm simply trying to encourge him (and other guys) to get to know a girl. Really get to know her, for who she is as a person. Look at the qualities about her that attract you, look at her relatonship with christ and the way she is with people around her. Those are the elements that REALLY matter.. if she is also a virgin, well bonus for you... if she is not.. is it REALLY a big deal?

That's all I'm saying.
 
yes, exactly Julianna.

You hit the nail on the head. It's all in how you treat others who might have made mistakes. I have just tried to share a little of my experience in my posts to try an portray that very point.
 
So you diss the woman simply because she has past sins that resulted in her having a kid? Way to be that ''Christ like'' male who doesn't look at peoples flaws but only sees that they are a child of God. Maybe she's learned her lesson by now. But her having a kid isn't a bad thing. It's not like if you date her you're going to inherit some baggage from her past because she's a single mom. So if a woman isn't pure that means she's not worth the effort?
 
To those who have posted on this thread and any other thread and to those who will post…God pressed this upon my heart today and reminded me, and thought I would share with my fellow brothers and sisters.

 Ephesians 4:2-3 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

 Corinthians 1 16:14 Do everything in love.


 [FONT=&quot]God Bless!
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I would like to get back to the original post, here. What the author implied by his statement about there being any women his age who are still a virgin, in this day and age, was that we are in a highly sexualized, luke-warm society that has no integrity. It is getting harder and harder to find people who are "all-in" to the point that they not only freely receive God's grace and forgiveness, but they are also obedient to God's will! We all kind of jumped on the bandwagon about how he shouldn't be expecting a virgin, which in a way proves his point. The point that *I* would like to make is that with God anything is possible, and if a virgin is what you need, they are out there. Remember, all you need is one, LOL.
 
Paraclete said:
I would like to get back to the original post, here. What the author implied by his statement about there being any women his age who are still a virgin, in this day and age, was that we are in a highly sexualized, luke-warm society that has no integrity. It is getting harder and harder to find people who are "all-in" to the point that they not only freely receive God's grace and forgiveness, but they are also obedient to God's will! We all kind of jumped on the bandwagon about how he shouldn't be expecting a virgin, which in a way proves his point. The point that *I* would like to make is that with God anything is possible, and if a virgin is what you need, they are out there. Remember, all you need is one, LOL.
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Yea I totally agree with you. 99% of people my age consider it perfectly normal to get a different girlfriend or boyfriend every couple of weeks.The media constantly portrays situations where this is perfectly normal.

For example, the movie Iron Man 2 (which I really enjoyed btw, except for the scenes I am about to describe). The main protagonist character Tony Stark is this rich genius who treats women like fancy sports cars that he rents for a night. Then his secretary who is the obvious love interest says "Everyone knows how you are with girls Tony, and thats perfectly fine".

I heard that and said, "NO!! Its not perfectly fine. There is nothing perfectly fine about that". That is just one example. In commercials and other movies, the "ideal" man has many different women who knows all the tricks to get them to sleep with him. The media pushes this day and night. They have successfully created a society where young people believe this.

Is that supposed to be a role model for me? I don't think so. My dad (who left us when I was 3) was like that. I still have a hard time forgiving him. I really have not forgiven him yet. I hope I can someday. He is a loser. He cheated on my mom and has cheated on many other women. He doesn't care about his son. If he was here I would beat the crap out of him. People call guys who never had a girl losers, no sir.

So you know what, I don't care how unpopular I am, and how few friends I have I will never participate in partying and cheating and "using" women. I honestly hate college and hate most people my age because thats what they are like. I shouldn't hate, but you know. Hate the sin, not the sinner.
 
dothackzero said:
I can accept a girl that isn't a virgin as long she doesn't have like HIV or something like that. I know girl have made mistakes in there past and I can forgive that. My point that everyone keeps missing is that a virgin is a major prefrence for me. Really the only thing bugs me(other than any stds) is that fact that another man has entered those places.
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°buddy put your faith in God. Make your preferences known then work on following the Lord's plan for your life. Trust this, you do NOT want a virgin IF God has the girl out there foryou,, who is not a virgin but is good repentant God girl and is going to make you become the most you can be in life.

So....

A. Do you want your own choice, a virgin girl who will NOT inspire your quality of life ANYTHING close to the rich video gamers dream life YOU dream.
B. Or, take the non-virgin girl who will, as the Lord knows, make ALL your dreams come true best to bless you and her and bring glory to God ?

Hint, coughB, B,cough :)

I saw this movie one time. This guy was getting his fiance a book for her birthday.
This guy who liked the same girl but was not liked by this girl saw the guy shopping for the book.
He said, 'What are you getting her for her birthday? ”
Guy said, ” A book.”

Well, the guy who didn't have the girl, knew a book was stupid to get. So he went to a rack and got a cute little girl hat.
He said to the guy: ”Give her this.”

He did, she loved it, later in movie, the guy who knew she liked the hat instead of book won the girl too.


Now, dotbuddy, you can either go for the girl (non-virgin, clean, repentant born again girl, has no std cuz God wont give you a girl like that if you pray, follow, delight in Him)who KNOWS what you will like, ”Gears of War 3.”

Or, go with the girl that is a virgin and gets you a stupid book.


Go with the girl that is God's video game loving one for you that is perfect for YOU, Christ bro.
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Just a scenario, I hope and pray it made sense. :)
 
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I reckon it's hard to find virgin guys my age, christian or not.
Just saying...
 
I understand that it's your opinion, but you're sounding like not being a virgin is the world's worst sin, remember that no sin is greater than the other! So what if the person is not a virgin? And what's wrong with a woman who has a child, people make mistakes, dont just judge people from what they did in their past.
 
By no means have I read through all of the posts here, but I've gone through enough to get the heart of the conversation.....so i'm thinking, what is the thought behind the OPs desire to have a virgin girl........I;m at a loss. The only thought that comes to mind is, he is a control freak, and is afraid of a woman who may know more than he does. :o Just saying.
 
WOW!

I guess if one wants to know the true heart of a fellow Christian, just start a thread or leave a comment. You might very well be surprised at what you get back and what lies deep in the heart of a fellow believer.

[FONT=&quot]Matthew 15:18 [/FONT]But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.

[FONT=&quot]Proverbs 10:31[/FONT] The mouth of the righteous flows with wisdom, But the perverted tongue will be cut out.

[FONT=&quot]Proverbs 15:28[/FONT] The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.

[FONT=&quot]Proverbs 18:2[/FONT] A fool does not delight in understanding, But only in revealing his own mind.

[FONT=&quot]Proverbs 23:9[/FONT] Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, For he will despise the wisdom of your words.

I bet right now Jesus is sitting there shaking His head and His heart is breaking over His children acting and saying such things to a fellow child of God.

Where is the encouragement, the support, the love, the guidance and the wisdom?

I am deeply saddened! :(

I believe I am done with this thread now.
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WorshippingGod said:
WOW!

I guess if one wants to know the true heart of a fellow Christian, just start a thread or leave a comment. You might very well be surprised at what you get back and what lies deep in the heart of a fellow believer.

[FONT=&quot]Matthew 15:18 [/FONT]But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.

[FONT=&quot]Proverbs 10:31[/FONT] The mouth of the righteous flows with wisdom, But the perverted tongue will be cut out.

[FONT=&quot]Proverbs 15:28[/FONT] The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.

[FONT=&quot]Proverbs 18:2[/FONT] A fool does not delight in understanding, But only in revealing his own mind.

[FONT=&quot]Proverbs 23:9[/FONT] Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, For he will despise the wisdom of your words.

I bet right now Jesus is sitting there shaking His head and His heart is breaking over His children acting and saying such things to a fellow child of God.

Where is the encouragement, the support, the love, the guidance and the wisdom?

I am deeply saddened! :(

I believe I am done with this thread now.

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what exactly are you referring to?
 
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