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Jullianna

Guest
#1
#1
Some folks have the idea that Singles forums are somehow dating sites where we are putting ourselves on display or where those in relationships or married folks are unwelcome. I'm so glad this site is not like that. It is a blessing to learn from others, to listen/pray with them, offer words of encouragement or be of help in other ways. This is what I am asking of you today, whether you are single or not. :)

Singles who are going through hard times always hear things like "just wait on Jesus" or "It's all in His time", and especially the verse about all things working together for our good. THIS is what I'd like to talk about. Whether you are single or married, can you share an encouraging word with young (or not so young) singles who are struggling as to how God used tough times you went through to bring you closer to Him, prepare you for a future relationship or to "work together for good" in some other way in your life?

Please prayerfully share. You never know who might be greatly impacted by your testimony to the faithfulness of God in these areas. :)

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zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#2
Aug 2, 2009
24,601
4,272
113
#2
Jullianna said:
Some folks have the idea that Singles forums are somehow dating sites where we are putting ourselves on display or where those in relationships or married folks are unwelcome. I'm so glad this site is not like that. It is a blessing to learn from others, to listen/pray with them, offer words of encouragement or be of help in other ways. This is what I am asking of you today, whether you are single or not. :)

Singles who are going through hard times always hear things like "just wait on Jesus" or "It's all in His time", and especially the verse about all things working together for our good. THIS is what I'd like to talk about. Whether you are single or married, can you share an encouraging word with young (or not so young) singles who are struggling as to how God used tough times ..(to) prepare you for a future relationship or to "work together for good" in some other way in your life?

Please prayerfully share. You never know who might be greatly impacted by your testimony to the faithfulness of God in these areas. :)

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That is something I would really like to hear about. Especially since I always see "wait on the Lord", and "focus more on God", etc.. being given as advice to those who are struggling to find a mate.

I'm not knocking the advice, I would just like to hear some testimony about how that approach actually worked for someone. :)
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#3
#3
My advice is if your single and looking, is to actually try asking people out for coffee (or some innocent equivalent) that you like. So few people do this, yet all wonder why they never get a date. Look at our Persnickety, she asked a guy for coffee and whoomph.....now she has disappeared, too busy getting to know her new love interest to visit us :p

I'm not saying prayer and leaning on the Lord is ever a bad thing, but on top of the usual cliche answers Jules was speaking of..... I think dating is just like anything else in the world. You get out of it what you put into it. If you expend no effort and take no action to change your situation, you can't expect things to just automatically happen and have a significant other fall from the sky.
 
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Thalassa

Guest
#4
#4
I am not a very religious person, in the sense that only recently I have developed a interest in studying the bible. I didn't and still don't go to church every Sunday and my relationship with God has always been more introvert. I am thinker and more interested in the essence of things rather than the appearance.

I remember myself some years back in my 20s, before I got married, after the breaking of a two year serious relationship I had. I remember a specific day, feeling very disappointed, entering a tiny church by the sea, of those that have no priest and starting praying and having something like a discussion with God. I wanted to get back together with my boyfriend but I didn't ask God for that. I said "my God, if you see it the right thing for me to happen, let it happen. If it isn't, please, show me the right way, your way, the man that I am meant to be together". Then, I felt this amazing feeling, trusting in God and that He knew what was best for me and it would make it happen. It was like leaving my worries and sadness in His hands to handle. This incredible feeling of trust stayed with me, reassuring me in the strangest way... not by me recalling and reasoning my trust in God but as a part of my heart and my mentality from then on. I simply stopped thinking and worrying about it.
Six months later, I met the love of my life and future husband in a very unexpected way.

We have a saying..."an hour can bring what a whole year won't". Anything can happen even in the next minute.
 
wisebeardman

wisebeardman

Banned
#5
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
124
63
Indiana
#5
zeroturbulence said:
That is something I would really like to hear about. Especially since I always see "wait on the Lord", and "focus more on God", etc.. being given as advice to those who are struggling to find a mate.

I'm not knocking the advice, I would just like to hear some testimony about how that approach actually worked for someone. :)
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Honestly IMO its like having someone who has not ate any food for a week, having someone sit in front of them eating a big meal not offering any but telling the person hungry "oh don't worry you will have food some day".

People who have said it to me in my younger years I honestly wanted to deck them. Easy to tell someone "oh it will come" when they already have it.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#6
#6
zeroturbulence said:
That is something I would really like to hear about. Especially since I always see "wait on the Lord", and "focus more on God", etc.. being given as advice to those who are struggling to find a mate.

I'm not knocking the advice, I would just like to hear some testimony about how that approach actually worked for someone. :)
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This is why I am asking. These are things singles are told repeatedly. :)
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#7
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#7
I wouldn't want a charity relationship.

I don't want the Food Bank of Romance.

I don't want a pity date for being so humble.

I don't want someone to feel so sorry for me that they set me up with their lonely cousin Adabelle the Horse Whisperer.
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#8
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#8
Let me butcher some Analogies for emphasis...

"If God wanted you to have a wife, he would have issued you one when you got here."

"The best things in life are free; women are expensive."

A wise man counts the cost of what it takes to build a house before he begins; a married man has taken it for granted that he will exceed this budget.

Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing. Whoever sits and waits, is playing hide and go seek.

Rome wasn't built in a day, but with God all things are possible.

A journey of a thousand miles, begins with southwest.com


Most people associate waiting with the concept of being idle. As if life is to be filled with a sort of withering and pining for that which we do not possess. As if we are all spinsters in our rocking chairs staring at the door, "okay God, any day now. You're timing not mine." etc etc.

Rebecca didn't show up. She was sought, pursued and found.

The heart of man devises his way, but the LORD directs his steps. Pro 16:9.
For some, there is no way and therefore no steps. To them this is waiting, sheltered, safe, and warded away from any harm that love might befall them. And like the story of the man in the flood, opportunity often doesn't appear as we have imagined it would.

A bird in the hand is worth 2 on the internet.

Also be careful what you wish for, it is better to live on the corner of a roof than hearing your wife explain to the police, "It all started when He hit me back."
 
Bridget_Left_China

Bridget_Left_China

Senior Member
#9
Oct 7, 2011
344
12
18
#9
But, Liamson...

I was going to give you my neice's number:
1264431_stock-photo-girl-and-horse-on-the-beach.jpg

(Sorry to further derail.. Carry on!)
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#10
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
79
48
34
#10
I've heard both of those sayings you mentioned in the OP, Jullianna. When I was using ChristianMingle at the end of last summer, I can’t remember the exact conversation, but my sister essentially said that when I was done with that, I should just wait on God’s timing. I’m pretty sure I asked her what exactly she meant by God’s timing, and I don’t think she even really knew what she meant by it.

It seems to me to be a legitimate phrase but so overused and misunderstood that it’s turned into Christianese and no one truly understands what they mean when they say it. It implies that I should sit and do nothing and everything will fall into place, or God will “bring” me said future spouse, as if he’ll just pop onto my door step and it will be history from there.

Here are two great articles that help explain “waiting” and “doing”. They aren't long articles. ;)

Can You Shed Some Light on the Tension Between Taking Action and Waiting on the Lord? | Desiring God

When God Says Wait | Desiring God

I may have more thoughts to add later, but that's what I have for now. :)
 
F

faroukfarouk

Banned
#11
Feb 21, 2014
5,672
18
0
#11
rachelsedge said:
I've heard both of those sayings you mentioned in the OP, Jullianna. When I was using ChristianMingle at the end of last summer, I can’t remember the exact conversation, but my sister essentially said that when I was done with that, I should just wait on God’s timing. I’m pretty sure I asked her what exactly she meant by God’s timing, and I don’t think she even really knew what she meant by it.

It seems to me to be a legitimate phrase but so overused and misunderstood that it’s turned into Christianese and no one truly understands what they mean when they say it. It implies that I should sit and do nothing and everything will fall into place, or God will “bring” me said future spouse, as if he’ll just pop onto my door step and it will be history from there.

Here are two great articles that help explain “waiting” and “doing”. They aren't long articles. ;)

Can You Shed Some Light on the Tension Between Taking Action and Waiting on the Lord? | Desiring God

When God Says Wait | Desiring God

I may have more thoughts to add later, but that's what I have for now. :)
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Being on one's knees fervently praying in dependence on the Lord would be kind of active, I guess.

Blessings.
 
D

dreda

Guest
#12
#12
But for some who had traumas with marraiges like they witnessed from their own parents maybe to marry is a difficult decision ,probably it needs a lot of prayer and consideration & of God's tclear leading. So better not find yourself in the same loop. ;)
 
F

faroukfarouk

Banned
#13
Feb 21, 2014
5,672
18
0
#13
dreda said:
But for some who had traumas with marraiges like they witnessed from their own parents maybe to marry is a difficult decision ,probably it needs a lot of prayer and consideration & of God's tclear leading. So better not find yourself in the same loop. ;)
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I know arranged marriages are common in Asia, but unless it is accompanied with a lot of prayer on the part of those planning to get married there may be many problems.
 
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thimsrebma

Guest
#14
#14
A few years ago I thought about meeting that special someone a lot. I became an "old maid" in my church and I felt sad that the younger women around me were getting married and having babies and I wasn't even getting asked on dates.

But now I am so happy and satisfied with my life I don't think about it much anymore. Now I have people asking me "Do you even want to get married?"

I tell them I do, but I can't let life pass me by waiting on some guy to show up. I am not avoiding marriage in order to travel and have fun, but I am traveling and having fun because I don't have to worry about a spouse and kids.

I don't think anyone really gave me any "good advice" about waiting on love. I just had to allow myself to be happy, not just content, with the options I have for my life right now. I only think about it when someone else brings it up.

So I am gonna try and give some good advice. Invest.

Invest in your relationship with God.
Invest in your biblical knowledge.
Invest in your prayer life.
Invest in your gifts and talents.
Invest in your church.
Invest in your intellectual and physical goals.
Invest in your finances.

You are the only you that you have. So you might as well invest in yourself. If you have to be single for the rest of your life, you need to be happy with who you are every step of the way.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#15
#15
thimsrebma said:
A few years ago I thought about meeting that special someone a lot. I became an "old maid" in my church and I felt sad that the younger women around me were getting married and having babies and I wasn't even getting asked on dates.

But now I am so happy and satisfied with my life I don't think about it much anymore. Now I have people asking me "Do you even want to get married?"

I tell them I do, but I can't let life pass me by waiting on some guy to show up. I am not avoiding marriage in order to travel and have fun, but I am traveling and having fun because I don't have to worry about a spouse and kids.

I don't think anyone really gave me any "good advice" about waiting on love. I just had to allow myself to be happy, not just content, with the options I have for my life right now. I only think about it when someone else brings it up.

So I am gonna try and give some good advice. Invest.

Invest in your relationship with God.
Invest in your biblical knowledge.
Invest in your prayer life.
Invest in your gifts and talents.
Invest in your church.
Invest in your intellectual and physical goals.
Invest in your finances.

You are the only you that you have. So you might as well invest in yourself. If you have to be single for the rest of your life, you need to be happy with who you are every step of the way.
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I remember now why I've missed you :)
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#16
Aug 2, 2009
24,601
4,272
113
#16
Yes, welcome back Thimsrebma! :D ..or should I say Amber? :rolleyes:
 
M

MH818

Guest
#17
#17
Great thoughts, and fantastic advice.
 
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