C
CCmarie05
Guest
So for the past 20+ years i have shut God out of my life for numerous reasons that i won't dwell on. Manly because they were not his fault and he never gave up on me. In high school friends invited me to their churches and activities and i always came up with a reason why i couldn't go. Don't get me wrong, i wasn't a bad kid, i didn't party or do things that God would frown on, but i still didn't want to acknowledge him.
Then came my first round of college. I was a quiet student and i liked to try to fit in do i typically went along with the crowd. This is where drinking, drugs and everything else came into play, including wicca.
I didn't go too deep into it, never had the experience of casting spells and all that, but i did get into the use of tarot and the spirit board. I never had a bad experience with the cards, but the board is another thing..
My friends and i were using the board one night and this spirit who called itself Sam started talking to me. It said things that only i knew about me, said that it was always watching me because we were soulmates. Nothing really creepy happened, but everytime i used the board, even different friends, Sam appeared. Eventually i got scared enough to leave the board alone. I eventually quit college because of partying and worked job after ob until landing in a fast food job.
I worked that job for 9 years, ending up in management. Over the 9 years i sinned time and time again. Drugs, sex, alcohol, theft. That was my life until i got pregnant with my daughter. The day i found out i was pregnant i quit everything. No drugs, no alcohol, no stealing, and i even had a steady boyfriend instead of the many over the 9 years. My daughter was a blessing. I named her Malachai. That was the name boy or girl, it just came to me. So after she was born i decided to go back to school....think this is where i went back to God and repented? Well you're wrong. I didn't need a man-made religion. (Yeah i know) ...so i list my job, fired for an anonymous tip that i was handing out free food, and the steady dream guy cheated and left (not the biological father). Did i fnd God then?
Nope. I went through school telling myself that n one could help me but me and that if God wanted me to succeed he wouldn't have let all the stuff happen. My daughter was 4 when i graduated with my degree.
Fast-forward 5 years (nothing bad there but still no God for me). I am an avid reader, but i like thrift store finds. I kept finding a book out of the Left Behind series no matter what store i went to.They would always catch my eye, but i never cane across book one, so i never bought them. One day the metallic words caught my eye And there were the first 3 books....and i bought them thinking why not. I had heard they were a great series. I couldn't put the first book down. Before i was fnished with the first book i had confessed my sins (everything i listed here) and asked Jesus to come into my life and help me.
After that i still hadn't gone back to church, although my daughter and niece have been going for a few years. Finally one day Malachai asked me if i had Jesus in my heart and of course i said yes. So being her 9 year old self asked then why don't you go to church with me. My reasoning was that i had to work. I have a daycare in my home. I said that when i didn't have kids on sundays i would start to go with her and her cousin. Wouldn't you know with in a month if making that promise the parent's of that kid had schedule changes at work that freed up my sundays.
I am amazed with the way the Lord kept working.in my life to bring me back to him. He never gave up. I can't get enough of his word or anything dealing with Christianty when it comes to books. Typically i liked to read tom clancy and books of that genre but i haven't even wanted to read anything other than the bible or Christian books.
Thanks for reading if you did. I just felt that i needed to share all that today
Then came my first round of college. I was a quiet student and i liked to try to fit in do i typically went along with the crowd. This is where drinking, drugs and everything else came into play, including wicca.
I didn't go too deep into it, never had the experience of casting spells and all that, but i did get into the use of tarot and the spirit board. I never had a bad experience with the cards, but the board is another thing..
My friends and i were using the board one night and this spirit who called itself Sam started talking to me. It said things that only i knew about me, said that it was always watching me because we were soulmates. Nothing really creepy happened, but everytime i used the board, even different friends, Sam appeared. Eventually i got scared enough to leave the board alone. I eventually quit college because of partying and worked job after ob until landing in a fast food job.
I worked that job for 9 years, ending up in management. Over the 9 years i sinned time and time again. Drugs, sex, alcohol, theft. That was my life until i got pregnant with my daughter. The day i found out i was pregnant i quit everything. No drugs, no alcohol, no stealing, and i even had a steady boyfriend instead of the many over the 9 years. My daughter was a blessing. I named her Malachai. That was the name boy or girl, it just came to me. So after she was born i decided to go back to school....think this is where i went back to God and repented? Well you're wrong. I didn't need a man-made religion. (Yeah i know) ...so i list my job, fired for an anonymous tip that i was handing out free food, and the steady dream guy cheated and left (not the biological father). Did i fnd God then?
Nope. I went through school telling myself that n one could help me but me and that if God wanted me to succeed he wouldn't have let all the stuff happen. My daughter was 4 when i graduated with my degree.
Fast-forward 5 years (nothing bad there but still no God for me). I am an avid reader, but i like thrift store finds. I kept finding a book out of the Left Behind series no matter what store i went to.They would always catch my eye, but i never cane across book one, so i never bought them. One day the metallic words caught my eye And there were the first 3 books....and i bought them thinking why not. I had heard they were a great series. I couldn't put the first book down. Before i was fnished with the first book i had confessed my sins (everything i listed here) and asked Jesus to come into my life and help me.
After that i still hadn't gone back to church, although my daughter and niece have been going for a few years. Finally one day Malachai asked me if i had Jesus in my heart and of course i said yes. So being her 9 year old self asked then why don't you go to church with me. My reasoning was that i had to work. I have a daycare in my home. I said that when i didn't have kids on sundays i would start to go with her and her cousin. Wouldn't you know with in a month if making that promise the parent's of that kid had schedule changes at work that freed up my sundays.
I am amazed with the way the Lord kept working.in my life to bring me back to him. He never gave up. I can't get enough of his word or anything dealing with Christianty when it comes to books. Typically i liked to read tom clancy and books of that genre but i haven't even wanted to read anything other than the bible or Christian books.
Thanks for reading if you did. I just felt that i needed to share all that today