How old do you have to be till its apropriate to get married?

[jael_eljay]

Hello Everyone! jael_eljay here with a subject that i want your opinion on. How old do you think someone needs to be in order to get married? Does age matter? I am 21 and married. I want to hear what you guys think and i'll give you my views as well!

Jael_eljay

 

[koolcas]

to me age doesnt matter but your level of maturity does. you really got to know what you're doing when you decide to tie the knot

 

[Ugly]

Well, in America legal age is 18, though you can get parental consent at an earlier age. And what kool said is right. Some 18 year olds are ready for marriage, while some 40 year olds are not. Though i believe the majority of early 20-somethings are not ready, its just a few that are at that age.

 

[Elizabeth619]

Im 31, and have never married. I don't think it has to do with age as much as maturity.

 

[Justcuz]

Maybe a simple reasoning, but here goes:

i used to be a player, but since i became saved i want to safe myself for the right one. So i guess when the right one comes along, i'm going to marry her as soon as possible. Marriage was instituted to prevent fornication, so one shouldnt get married too late.

People who get married also have the intention to have children. Since we can only have children up to a certain age, we shouldn't get married too late also.


In my opinion 21 is fine...

 

[Devster]

The person with the best grasp on marriage that I've ever heard is Voddie Baucham, You can find some of his sermons as audio here: tinyurl.com/9kt5ppo
You can also find his "Love and Marriage" on youtube, just search for it.

Paul Washer's another good one.

I personally think it's all about spiritual maturity, and being independent from your parents (as far as supporting yourself) and more dependent upon God.

http://christianchat.com/tinyurl.com/9kt5ppo

 

[Agravesx]

Well, I would think that before you even consider marriage, you must have your heart prepared for it. So studying marriage within the bible and what marriage means according to God is very important. However I do believe it is important to prepare yourself at a younger age, perhaps early 20's, maybe sooner. Just for the reason that we have such little time left in this world that if you do not act, you may not be able to.

Also like Justcuz said, it really helps you fight fornication, so especially nowadays, it is important to get married if you feel like your fighting lust. However if you do not fight lust, Paul highly recommends in 1 Corinthians 7:7-9 that you remain unmarried and focus on pleasing the Lord, and not a spouse.

So it is very important to truly consider and think on marriage and what it means to God, and what you want from it before you even consider getting married, because marriage is something truly special and of the up-most importance, and should not be taken as something you have to do in your life, but rather something you can do to make your life more pleasing for God.

 

[jael_eljay]

Yeah, you all know whats really sad?! I am 21 but I got married when i was 20. My husband was 19 when we got married (3 month age difference here. I hear "i married an older women as a joke a lot! lol), but anyway. Its been a year and about 3 months and people shocked to hear that we still like eachother and love eachother! They are shocked and are like "why" when they hear that we still hold hands, he kisses me, we are all giddy around eachother. Its sad what people make of marriage these days! My husband and I have been together since we were in the 9th grade of high school! I was his first and only girlfriend! We pretty much act the same way as we did when we were first dating. So we have been together for almost 7 years. Let me tell you guys the secret: Keep God as the center of your relationship. Pray for each other daily and make efforts for each other.

"The more you invest in your relationship, the valuable it becomes" amy grant.

 

[Ugly]

Sorry, i couldn't help but laugh at that quote by Amy Grant. A person talking about investing in relationships who cheated on her Christian husband, that treated her well, divorced him the, father of her children, to be with a man that was not even a Christian. I'll probably be criticized for bringing that up, but it just was too funny to pass up.

 

[Faithseeker87]

First off, marriage isn't for everyone.
God wants to see couples smiling to their ears and to accomplish that he wants his brave and young adventurers to spend a lot of time with each other, maybe at least two years. If they passed that, a happy and problem free bond for your entire life is more likely than other couples getting together too quickly only to realize that their partner was "not quite made for me".

 

[fighterace0]

How old was Mary when she married Joseph? I believe Jewish custom allowed women to marriage after pubert around a conventional age of 13? I think the age you marry has a lot to do with the culture you live in. But the Husband must be financially as well as emotionally and spiritually stable. Remember you are submitting to him. You better make sure he is also submitting to Christ.

 

[Faithseeker87]

wait a second, hold on.
and take a step back.
Marriage is already flawed when someone is solely submitting to someone else.
Marriage can only exist with 2 partners and for that purpose both are dependent on each other.
Women shouldn't submit and neither should man.

 

[Agravesx]

wait a second, hold on.
and take a step back.
Marriage is already flawed when someone is solely submitting to someone else.
Marriage can only exist with 2 partners and for that purpose both are dependent on each other.
Women shouldn't submit and neither should man.

Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Well, the Holy Spirit is sure saying differently.

 

[Faithseeker87]

Peter 3:1 and 3:7 and also Colossians 3:18-19 don't conflict with what i said but
Titus 2:4-5 and Ephesians 5:22-25 do.

Many sentences in the bible are made as an universal rule and they stand they ground very well in the modern times and even the future.
Then there are parts which don't comply with what is valuable today.
In fact, Titus 2:4-5 and Ephesians 5:22-25 are in contradiction towards your other quotes.
God gave you a brain to also use it to validate the information you perceive. Sort out what is good and right and discard the rest, the bible is no exception. As perfect as the bible seems, with this many turns in transcriptions, flaws are to be expected.

 

[Agravesx]

Peter 3:1 and 3:7 and also Colossians 3:18-19 don't conflict with what i said but
Titus 2:4-5 and Ephesians 5:22-25 do.

Many sentences in the bible are made as an universal rule and they stand they ground very well in the modern times and even the future.
Then there are parts which don't comply with what is valuable today.
In fact, Titus 2:4-5 and Ephesians 5:22-25 are in contradiction towards your other quotes.
God gave you a brain to also use it to validate the information you perceive. Sort out what is good and right and discard the rest, the bible is no exception. As perfect as the bible seems, with this many turns in transcriptions, flaws are to be expected.

In what way shape or form?

These verses are working with each other completely. They all say that wives need to submit to their husbands, and 1 Collossians 3:18-19 and 1 Peter 3:7 say that not only do wives have to be in submission towards their husbands, but that the husbands need to be fair towards their wives and love them.

This DOES conflict what you said, because you said that

Women shouldn't submit and neither should man.

The bible directly argues this within it's verses. All of these verse back up the submission of the wife to the husband except 1 Peter 3:7, which I added to show although the wife must submit to the husband, the husband should not oppress the wife.

My friend, let me tell you this, the bible IS the exception. This isn't a book for picking and choosing, you either take it whole or don't take it at all. The holy spirit has confirmed the truths written within it, and we must know that within this holy and amazing book are the guidelines and rules for living our lives on earth in such a manner as to bring honor to ourselves in heaven. This book has more knowledge and power beyond all others of this world. It is an infinite source of wisdom, comfort, and love, which no man nor other source of "knowledge" can provide.

 

[Faithseeker87]

I'm sorry if I didn't get the message over clearly.
When I said neither should submit to each other i meant that neither should solely submit to each other.
I value a woman as much as a man, making them equal.
When someone submits more than the other then he/she is...diplomatically speaking, not as equal as the other and this is the contradiction in certain verses and almost any ideal in the modern world.

 

[Agravesx]

I'm sorry if I didn't get the message over clearly.
When I said neither should submit to each other i meant that neither should solely submit to each other.
I value a woman as much as a man, making them equal.
When someone submits more than the other then he/she is...diplomatically speaking, not as equal as the other and this is the contradiction in certain verses and almost any ideal in the modern world.

Well that still isn't right. What we learn from those verses is that the Wife should submit to the husband do to several reasons, the first being the man is the head of the relationship, the second is that she is showing what God wants from his children, and can cause an non-christian husband to convert or to be strengthened in Christ. We also learn that although Man is not in submission towards his wife, he must still love and respect her, just as Jesus loves the church. To basically summarize what God wants from his children who are in marriage is to model themselves after the relationship Jesus and the Church have. The church being in full submission towards Jesus, and Jesus showing such love and kindness towards the church that the church can put all trust within him.

 

[gardenbunny]

Because I've seen the struggles my brothers and my friends have had after getting married at 21 or younger, I say 23 or older is a good age. It gives you time to grow up a little and experience life but you are still young enough to have a ton of kids.
It's a way to learn about yourself away from your family, I love my family, but I was forced to cook and clean(chores) while growing up. But since I had a chance to move away, make new friends(away from the high school/college world) and not rely on my family for EVERYTHING, I learned that I LOVE to cook. I love having a clean apartment(and I don't have to clean up after others), I love being out in the garden(when I was younger I was forced to weed and mow the lawn, now I love it). And I can pay my bills and feel a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment because I don't need to ask my parents for money(while my little brother and his wife and 2 kids are living with my parents, because they are now realizing they were WAY too young when they got married).
I just think 23 is a good age to start looking for someone(preferably same age/maturity level) special. Good luck.

 

[dliz]

Well, i'm 21 years old and I'm definitely not ready to engage in a relationship and much more get married. I cannot imagine myself getting married, I'm still young and there are far more things I want to accomplish before settling down. I think the perfect time to get married is when you are already spiritually, emotionally, and financially stable. You dont just marry someone because you love each other but you also ought to think whether your partner can provide you in terms of financial aspects.