How to deal with People who are bad influences on you...

[thefightinglamb]

So...recently, I have begun 'hanging out' with someone who is a bad influence on me...I mean I always seem to be distracted from following God when I am around them--and this carries on to when I am not around them...

I once just stopped answering the phone when they called...and eventually we just didn't hang out anymore...which I think is fairly cowardly...and I know some of you cannot do this with someone who you constantly see at a job, school, or perhaps a roommate...

...so I am wondering what is the best approach to separating yourself from someone you think is a bad influence on your life?

Perhaps, the brave approach of being straightforward and telling them "I am sorry but we cannot be friends anymore as it seems you are a bad influence/distraction in my life" or something like that is the best and most honest appraoch...perhaps the ONLY approach for someone you always see but you feel God telling you not to be influenced by anymore.

Yes, Jesus did hang out with sinners...but I think there is a distinction between sinners and the wicked, between those who are seeking Christ and those who want you to seek this world...and if you feel someone begging you to chase this world, then a COLD SHOULDER may be the only thing that can save you from the fate of the wicked.

I have been more distracted from prayer and God lately than I have been in years, and I pray this chaos just ends...

I know some of you might respond, who are you to judge? yada, yada.... But I am not trying to judge them or anyone, but just save myself from being distracted from following Christ...perhaps that is it, say straightforwardly, "I am afraid we are not earnestly seeking Christ together and therefore, since I desire Christ alone, I can no longer partake in___________(fill in the blank with whatever worldliness or worldy talk or whatever) with you." This seems both honest and seeking refuge in Christ.


God bless and any advice would be helpful...
tony


ps...I have invited them to church, but even there they do not seem to take it seriously...

 

[MahogonySnail]

A straightforward approach is probably too difficult. I personally would just limit my conversation with them and show disinterest in them. People eventually get the idea that you don't like them anymore. Women are good at this, learn from them hahaha.

God bless.

 

[NoahsMom]

I personally dont think a straightforward approach is too difficult at all, its commendable actually. Why should it have to be difficult to tell someone exactly whats on your mind? Maybe its just me, but, its far easier to be honest from the git go then to waste your breath and someone elses air, honesty can be the best policy and nobodys wires gets crossed. Just say " Hey, this is what i believe.....this is how I feel about it"...and if it doesnt mesh with the way they do things ( if they need a explanation after you say this, give em yours and move on).TADAAAA...everybody knows where everybody stands. The end.

 

[watchmen]

I voted for another answer. The bible says to admonish them and then have no more contact with them at all, until the repent.
2nd Thess 3
14 And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed.
15 Yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.



So I say we should have no contact with them at all.

 

[Leilaii425]

Basically if i dont like someone, or the way there acting and i dont think its good for me to be around them. I will tell them. Im not gonna do any of this, just ignore them and hope they figure it out. I feel its best that you know where both people stand

 

[MaggieMye]

You have to choose: You can let that person be a bad influence on you and pay the consequences
OR you can BE the GOOD influence on them: invite them to church, love them but don't participate in worldly activities. Hold them accountable for the speech and actions. They will either changes their ways or, after a while, you brush the dust from your feet. Greater is HE that is in you than he that is in the world. LOVE. Remember that.
Maggie

 

[Bob1953]

If these people are taking you away from the Lord, I think you should get away from them. How you go about it is up to you. I thought it was a good idea not to answer the phone. You can’t always reason with such people. In Matthew 7:6 (RSV) Jesus says:

“Do not give dogs what is holy; and do not throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under foot and turn to attack you.”

Psalms 50:16-18 tells us:

[16] But to the wicked God says:
"What right have you to recite my statutes,
or take my covenant on your lips?
[17] For you hate discipline,
and you cast my words behind you.
[18] If you see a thief, you are a friend of his;
and you keep company with adulterers.

 

[carpetmanswife]

I think there may come time in our christian lives when we need to seperate from some people. We can and certainly should try to be as friendly as possible with everyone BUT if anyone is pulling you away from God that id say would be a necessary time of seperation , doesnt mean we are unkind to them at all , we need to remember if we arent careful the 'world' will rub off on us often times more easily and quickly then we as christians rub off on the world. * just my thoughts*

 

[loveschild]

I have been more distracted from prayer and God lately than I have been in years, and I pray this chaos just ends...

You can't have one foot in the world and one foot walking to God, you will fall. Sometimes you have to do what is best for you. When your around this person are you doing the same bad things they are doing? It's your job to protect you. You can still love this person and pray for them. You can tell them you are following Christ and you need them to follow Christ. If they don't want too then you pray. You can't change them but you must protect yourself. And you can't blame them that your being lead away from God because you are allowing it. and I pray this chaos just ends...

 

[MaggieMye]

No one can be distracted from the Lord, unless they want to be. We are as CLOSE to Him as WE want to be.
Maggie

 

[MahogonySnail]

I personally feel the whole front up approach " I don't want to be your fwiend anymore" is too childish eg "do you want to be my fwiend?" and I think guys are typically too manly for that sort of chit chat about relationships and feelings. It's too awkward. You might still like the person just not want to be friends, and they might take it the wrong way. You don't want to turn a friend into an enemy, you want to turn a friend into an acquaintance.

 

[Leilaii425]

or a friend into your butler. Thats the approach i always like to take... Im sorry i cant be your friend anymore, HOWEVER you can come over and clean my house

 

[MahogonySnail]

Lieilaii, that's a very good idea. Reminds me of Seinfeld where George had the idea of a show where a guy had a car accident, didn't have enough insurance so had to become the guy's butler, or something like that.

 

[Leilaii425]

Lieilaii, that's a very good idea. Reminds me of Seinfeld where George had the idea of a show where a guy had a car accident, didn't have enough insurance so had to become the guy's butler, or something like that.

LOL i love seinfeld, i have like three seasons on DVD

 

[MahogonySnail]

Me too, it's one of my favorite shows, but plan to get it on DVD it's just a bit expensive, then I think, well i've seen all the episodes multiple times, so i dont really need the DVD.

 

[Leilaii425]

its cheap here! i got one season for like 15 dollars. How much does it cost there??

 

[MahogonySnail]

Well, the complete 5 and 6 season with a puffy shirt is $171, one season is $25. I can get seasons 1-9 for 170 i think

 

[Leilaii425]

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! 170... thats crazy. however i might do it for the shirt

 

[DinoDillinger]

I would reccommend what Jesus said to His friends when they were trying to convince Him to follow worldly means instead of what was set out for Him. (I am serious, the spirit of the anti-christ attacks us in such ways)

Say to them, " Get behind me Satan, you know not the things of God"

Confront the spirit and he will flee from you.

I've had people close to me attack me with scripture none the less and I said something to that effect and it had an amazing the effect. The person has even started to change to an extent.

 

[imoss]

most of my friends are non believers and my old "best" friend more like a sister to me & I have pretty much nothing left in common anymore. I would never discard her because I love her. When we get together the Lord & what he's done for me is always the direction the convo goes and I found that she is getting more & more receptive to my faith. Occasionally we stumble, this is to be human. If this friend constantly causes you to stumble, next time he wants to "go out". Just say you know what, last time we did that I just felt so aweful because of.... so you know what man I'd love to see ya maybe catch a game but i just cant put myself through that again. Dont reject him, reject the behaviour that you associate to him.