How to handle a friend’s suicide threat?

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RedTent

RedTent

Banned
Oct 31, 2011
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What a night! I got an email from a friend in trouble saying life wasn’t worth it, I love you, goodbye. I called 911, we followed the police car sometimes at 120 MPH. We found my friend only sitting in a chair sobbing. She told me she had planned it for later in the night. It is midnight, now, I am home. I think the crisis is over, but I feel inadequate. She needs a better place to live, a job, and now her car is gone. We are giving her a phone.

What would you have done in my place? Is there a way to give hope to someone who feels hopeless?
 
RedTent said:
What a night! I got an email from a friend in trouble saying life wasn’t worth it, I love you, goodbye. I called 911, we followed the police car sometimes at 120 MPH. We found my friend only sitting in a chair sobbing. She told me she had planned it for later in the night. It is midnight, now, I am home. I think the crisis is over, but I feel inadequate. She needs a better place to live, a job, and now her car is gone. We are giving her a phone.

What would you have done in my place? Is there a way to give hope to someone who feels hopeless?
Click to expand...

God Bless you & hold you right now, a shocking night, I am glad your friend is alive. You are not inadequate! Come on now Strong-Woman-Of-God :) you are tired & laid a bit low & it is understandable. The biggest gift you can give your friend is your time right now but you also need boundaries. You cannot rescue her. She needs to find her way but you can support her, your treasure is in being able to give her love....a love that's surpasses all understanding. She needs someone to love her, not judge and raise awareness of the options, the other support networks available.
Make lists together, she needs a new place to stay, a job? Then she needs to get busy:) You can walk with her....that gives hope, knowing we are not alone & that someone cares is huge! God Bless you, <><
 
All I have to say is keep checking in on your friend in a positive way...

Two years ago my best friend offed himself without warning...

I used to talk to this kid for hours a day. We were inseparable... I knew the in's and out's of his life... I knew everything he did I knew what he was thinking before he thought it... It seemed as if when we talked we were both full of joy no matter what. We could joke and laugh at each other w/out the other being offended...

One day I was at my friend Daytons house, we were staying up late playing video games and we got a call... My friend Joseph said, "Ramon is dead..." I will never forget those words... "Roman is dead..." I took it as a joke at first but he just kept on saying "Ramon is dead...".......

See Ramon never had the best of life, and always thought he was a burden on society... And a burden on his parents... He threatened suicide before and we all thought he was past it... But He seemed so happy that month, He seemed to be on top of the world... It seemed that no one could take him off his rocker... Anytime you were to see Ramon no matter what he was feeling He had the biggest smile on... It sounds cliche' but he seemed so happy, he seemed so vibrant, so full of life...

Then one day all I hear is "Ramon is dead..."

It was like there were no signs at all... I WISH I COULD SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS "WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE ME A SIGN!"

One day he was on top of the world loving life, talking about his future and the next day... The next day Ramon was dead...

Red you are a wise woman full of multitudes of wisdom. I tell you my story not so you can empathize for my condition, and not so I can show I have empathy for you...

But to help you understand, you have to keep an eye on your friend. Make sure they feel love... Because they might bottle up their depression and feelings... They might put on a facade and not show anyone they are bleeding on the inside... I don't want you to loose a friend through suicide... Man I would do anything to have my friend with me now... I think about all he has missed out on...

What breaks my heart the most, is thinking he might be in hell...

Red show your friend the world would miss them dearly... Show your friend there is something to live for... Show your friend that she has a friend... Smother your friend in love... Smother your friend in love...

And if you get a feeling to go over to your friends house... GO!!!!!!! I know I got a feeling to go to my friend Ramon's house the day it happened... And I decided not too... Who gave that feeling and why I don't know... All I know is I wish I could have followed it...


But Smother your friend in love...




And hattie is right, don't judge her... Just show that you love her and there is something to live forward too....
 
That was the best thing you could have done. You proved to your friend that at least he/she has at least one friend.

We are living in a horrible culture, almost a pendulum swing from a century ago. As internet brings in more and more awareness of what people could have, they become less and less aware of what they do have, and more and more despondent. So each person reaches out less to those around him, so instead of having more, each has less.
 
T_Laurich said:
All I have to say is keep checking in on your friend in a positive way...

Two years ago my best friend offed himself without warning...

I used to talk to this kid for hours a day. We were inseparable... I knew the in's and out's of his life... I knew everything he did I knew what he was thinking before he thought it... It seemed as if when we talked we were both full of joy no matter what. We could joke and laugh at each other w/out the other being offended...

One day I was at my friend Daytons house, we were staying up late playing video games and we got a call... My friend Joseph said, "Ramon is dead..." I will never forget those words... "Roman is dead..." I took it as a joke at first but he just kept on saying "Ramon is dead...".......

See Ramon never had the best of life, and always thought he was a burden on society... And a burden on his parents... He threatened suicide before and we all thought he was past it... But He seemed so happy that month, He seemed to be on top of the world... It seemed that no one could take him off his rocker... Anytime you were to see Ramon no matter what he was feeling He had the biggest smile on... It sounds cliche' but he seemed so happy, he seemed so vibrant, so full of life...

Then one day all I hear is "Ramon is dead..."

It was like there were no signs at all... I WISH I COULD SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS "WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE ME A SIGN!"

One day he was on top of the world loving life, talking about his future and the next day... The next day Ramon was dead...

Red you are a wise woman full of multitudes of wisdom. I tell you my story not so you can empathize for my condition, and not so I can show I have empathy for you...

But to help you understand, you have to keep an eye on your friend. Make sure they feel love... Because they might bottle up their depression and feelings... They might put on a facade and not show anyone they are bleeding on the inside... I don't want you to loose a friend through suicide... Man I would do anything to have my friend with me now... I think about all he has missed out on...

What breaks my heart the most, is thinking he might be in hell...

Red show your friend the world would miss them dearly... Show your friend there is something to live for... Show your friend that she has a friend... Smother your friend in love... Smother your friend in love...

And if you get a feeling to go over to your friends house... GO!!!!!!! I know I got a feeling to go to my friend Ramon's house the day it happened... And I decided not too... Who gave that feeling and why I don't know... All I know is I wish I could have followed it...


But Smother your friend in love...




And hattie is right, don't judge her... Just show that you love her and there is something to live forward too....
Click to expand...

That is very sad...I feel your hurt as you write the loss you still feel over this mans death. Trouble is, if someone is set on killing themselves, they can. But I must just say, you and anyone else supporting someone who is struggling with suicidal thoughts, is NOT responsible for their life, their living. The person has a free choice to choose to live or die. It's very hard to accept, so difficult, but we cannot accept the responsibility. Stay close but have boundaries. If you do not, the keeping of the persons life could consume your every hour! Love them, support them to find many avenues of support, the more the better as this takes the pressure off you. In the middle of the night? A help line is a good resource. Challenge them to see there are alternatives, opening up their prison....Try to encourage them to seek solutions, as they discover there are possibilities = Hope. Above all pray they will find their way forward through their valley and know they are never alone and you are willing to walk with them as much as you can. God Bless you, <><
 
Hello,

first of all. Thank god for your timely rescue.
You saved her live.
But you are not now responsible for her. You can do a lot, but only if she lets you and only
as far as you can bear the pressure, you have to trust also god and other people to look
out for her.

I think it is good if you are there for her.

What you can always do, is pray, for her to look to god, who can always be there when we are
depressed, even if the depression is so deep, one actually has a date for suicide.
Get her into counceling if she isn't already, there are professsionals that know more
about handeling people in depression.
But the main thing I think, is being there and telling her also that god is always there
and can help and that she is valueable person, that would be greatly missed.

But now to the worldly things, is there a possibility for a new job (preferably with affordable
living in the area) ?

Also life can be an advenure, and death comes someday anyway. So why not experiance
life untill then.

RedTent said:
What would you have done in my place?
Click to expand...


same as you.
RedTent said:
Is there a way to give hope to someone who feels hopeless?
Click to expand...

Yes there is and you did it, because she is still alive.
And you know the saying: "Where there is life, there is hope ! "
 
Give this friend the gospel, she needs to be saved, and that also means youll need to tell her about hell. Meet with her after prayer and give her a witness, that Jesus died for her, rose from the dead, and paid her sin debt so she could avoid hell and live forever with Him.She needs the gospel A.S.Ap. My heart goes out to you
 
I think you did the only thing you could do. I think you did well. Above and beyond what everyone else is suggesting, maybe you can help her get into some good Christian based counseling. She may also need some medications to help her through until she has weathered this storm. She may need it long-term. Only a doctor can tell her that. A psychiatrist can help her with the meds and should work with the counselor.

Finding faith in the Lord will be a wonderful boost, if she is open to it. You are a good friend.
 
RedTent said:
What a night! I got an email from a friend in trouble saying life wasn’t worth it, I love you, goodbye. I called 911, we followed the police car sometimes at 120 MPH. We found my friend only sitting in a chair sobbing. She told me she had planned it for later in the night. It is midnight, now, I am home. I think the crisis is over, but I feel inadequate. She needs a better place to live, a job, and now her car is gone. We are giving her a phone.

What would you have done in my place? Is there a way to give hope to someone who feels hopeless?
Click to expand...

Love, kindness and patience never fails.
 
When people talk about suicide, you have no way to know if they're really serious about it or not.

The only thing you can do is take it seriously.

Probably best if you can keep people around her, or at least have people check up on her regularly for a while. Just the fact that people are doing these things will show her she's loved, and that will help a lot.
 
Sometimes people do it as a cry for help, which is serious enough to warrant a call to someone more qualified to handle it. I agree with Maxwel, you never know for sure. If you don't get your friend help you could lose her/him, and you would ask yourself "what if?" for the rest of your life.
 
you are such a nice friend...
Just be there for her and let her feel God's love through you
God bless!
 
You are a good friend. Sometimes people lose their way and decide life is not the way they planned it and are in emotional shock.
Without Jesus there is no hope and depression and anxiety about life is all consuming. They can't see anything but the negative and lose heart. Especially if they are not young anymore and their life has changed drastically and they are alone.

Sometimes ONE person can make a huge difference in A person's life. It is not overstating the fact when helping a friend. Why else are we christians here if not to help when needed. Sometimes we can be responsible if we let ourselves. If someone was starving would we give them food? why not if someone is alone and so low they can't get up on their own-we help? I must forget the words and warnings of "enabler" "set boundaries" "not responsible" etc... Some times it is our responsibility if we let it be. God bless you for your helping another woman in need.
 
I want to thank and bless you all for your help, advice and encouragement.

Here is a report on what has happened. She has promised not to ever do this again, but she is still very depressed.

She had accepted the Lord some time ago, but she is a Christian baby. She is retaining a lot of the thinking from her past that is not in sync with the Lord's way.

The police who came to help that night could think of nothing she could do to releive her situation. We got her a cell phone and we are checking to be sure she gets her meds. She got a job, but she can't get to it, her car broke down and is unrepairable. The place she found to live is in the country.

She isn't open to counseling. She says she has had counseling in the past. Now she couldn't get to the counselor.

Her knowledge of the word is what she learned as a child. She needs to read the word, to make what God says part of her thinking. I am trying to convince her. She needs a church family.

Again, I thank you all. What a wonderful community we have on this site!
 
does she have internet at home, then a forum like this f.ex. might be helpfull.
Is there anyone close by, that has the same way to work, so she might be able to drive with that person.
I guess the way is too long for bycicle rides to a near bus station and then by bus to her work place ?!?

I'll certainly continue to pray.
thanks for the situation update.
 
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