How to handle negative feedback

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icequeen

icequeen

Active member
#1
Nov 8, 2019
211
133
43
#1
I knew it deep down in my gut. I didn't want to do it! The task was unclear and the target group was diverse, to put it mildly. And I was supposed to pull off a 3 hours show. On a fluffy topic.

And I failed. Badly. It was constructive, though. I know now better what they want. But still. It felt bad walking in. It felt worse walking out. It felt terrible when the feedback came. And this is before I have had to report my failure to my boss!

We as Christians should excel in the work place. Be humble to our leaders. To strive to be light and salt everywhere we go. We shouldn't let our boss down. Yet I did.

I can pray. I can put in extra hours. I can bless the persons I was supposed to bless. And I do need to humble myself.

But the nagging feeling is. My boss asked too much of me, and I said I didn't want to do it. And this is not a part of what I am employed to do.

Shall I humbly ask to be taken off the project (again)? Shall I humbly ask for forgiveness for failing and just put all in for the next session? Shall I tell that I want to focus on what I am good at and not being forced to do things I am not qualified to do? I have stretched myself so much for my boss. Always stepping in and helping out.

What is the Christian way to respond here?
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#2
Feb 21, 2014
70,924
9,673
113
#2
Uhh, you're rather vague in your post here. Exactly what is "it" and why didn't you want to do it? If you didn't want to do it, then why didn't you tell your boss that?

You failed. Miserably, according to you. People fail all the time. We fail ourselves, family, friends, bosses.. Take a lesson away from this and move on. Don't be so eager to "step in and help out" all the time. That's how you get in messes like this, with no idea what you're doing..
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#3
Feb 21, 2014
70,924
9,673
113
#3
Bosses aren't infallible either. They fail THEIR bosses quite often.. :)
 
G

Ghoti2

Well-known member
#4
Nov 8, 2019
469
283
63
#4
You learned, and you grew. You will be better equipped for the next challenge. And, if tasks aren't a bit over our heads, and stretch us.... they are not really challenges.
 
icequeen

icequeen

Active member
#5
Nov 8, 2019
211
133
43
#5
blue_ladybug said:
Uhh, you're rather vague in your post here. Exactly what is "it" and why didn't you want to do it? If you didn't want to do it, then why didn't you tell your boss that?

You failed. Miserably, according to you. People fail all the time. We fail ourselves, family, friends, bosses.. Take a lesson away from this and move on. Don't be so eager to "step in and help out" all the time. That's how you get in messes like this, with no idea what you're doing..
Click to expand...
You are right. I was quite vague. I think it boils down to a frustration from me on knowing this would go wrong and the boss that didn't want to listen to my plea. And the fact that the order on the lecture was easily misinterpreted. And I feel like I am the one that get shovelled all the blame upon me. And knowing that, I should have rised above it, but I can't. Because I can always do a better job. This whole thing is far from my job discription.

Lesson learnt. To be a yay sayer has consequenses. Better balancing the yays with some nays
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#6
Feb 21, 2014
70,924
9,673
113
#6
OK.. So if I understand correctly, you gave a lecture on a topic that you aren't qualified or fully knowlegable on?? If that's the case, your boss should have known better..
 
E

EleventhHour

Guest
#7
#7
icequeen said:
I knew it deep down in my gut. I didn't want to do it! The task was unclear and the target group was diverse, to put it mildly. And I was supposed to pull off a 3 hours show. On a fluffy topic.

And I failed. Badly. It was constructive, though. I know now better what they want. But still. It felt bad walking in. It felt worse walking out. It felt terrible when the feedback came. And this is before I have had to report my failure to my boss!

We as Christians should excel in the work place. Be humble to our leaders. To strive to be light and salt everywhere we go. We shouldn't let our boss down. Yet I did.

I can pray. I can put in extra hours. I can bless the persons I was supposed to bless. And I do need to humble myself.

But the nagging feeling is. My boss asked too much of me, and I said I didn't want to do it. And this is not a part of what I am employed to do.

Shall I humbly ask to be taken off the project (again)? Shall I humbly ask for forgiveness for failing and just put all in for the next session? Shall I tell that I want to focus on what I am good at and not being forced to do things I am not qualified to do? I have stretched myself so much for my boss. Always stepping in and helping out.

What is the Christian way to respond here?
Click to expand...
I have given many a presentation, to diverse groups, use the negative feedback as a tool to do better next time.
It is about professional growth and discipline.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#8
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#8
Put it down to experience. And at least you survived. Nobody gets it right the first time, practise makes perfect. Forgive yourself, after all God has forgiven you. And its good to own up to mistakes and admit you need help not pretend you can do it all.
 
M

morefaithrequired

Guest
#9
#9
i am impressed by anyone who can give a 3 hour presentation. not many people can do that well.
Keep us updated icequeen. this is interesting.
I suspect you are too self critical and maybe overdoing the "humble". but some of your insights are on the money.
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#10
Sep 17, 2018
4,094
3,195
113
#10
icequeen said:
I knew it deep down in my gut. I didn't want to do it! The task was unclear and the target group was diverse, to put it mildly. And I was supposed to pull off a 3 hours show. On a fluffy topic.

And I failed. Badly. It was constructive, though. I know now better what they want. But still. It felt bad walking in. It felt worse walking out. It felt terrible when the feedback came. And this is before I have had to report my failure to my boss!

We as Christians should excel in the work place. Be humble to our leaders. To strive to be light and salt everywhere we go. We shouldn't let our boss down. Yet I did.

I can pray. I can put in extra hours. I can bless the persons I was supposed to bless. And I do need to humble myself.

But the nagging feeling is. My boss asked too much of me, and I said I didn't want to do it. And this is not a part of what I am employed to do.

Shall I humbly ask to be taken off the project (again)? Shall I humbly ask for forgiveness for failing and just put all in for the next session? Shall I tell that I want to focus on what I am good at and not being forced to do things I am not qualified to do? I have stretched myself so much for my boss. Always stepping in and helping out.

What is the Christian way to respond here?
Click to expand...
Sit down and have a discussion with your boss on all of this.
Perhaps there is a reason, yet stated, that he picked you for something you're unqualified for. Maybe he's bad at his job. Maybe he sees something in you and wants to push you to grow. Maybe he's just testing you. At least having a discussion with him will clue you in as to what may be the best route to take. And this can help dictate what you feel is best to do yourself, as well as what to tell him.
 
icequeen

icequeen

Active member
#11
Nov 8, 2019
211
133
43
#11
I have spent some time in prayer. And talking to a co-worker. I will meet my boss on Monday, and go through the presentation for next Thursday. And, I have to lean on Christ regarding the meeting, the next presentation and my life's messy situation as well. I have had too much on my plate for too long. And then we are not speaking about the thesis I have to work on.

Your inputs helped alot to see the situation more clearly. Thank you all! I am blessed by your comments and support here!

Four weeks to go to Christmas break! (Well. That is another painful event, but that too I leave to Him)
 
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