How to make ex boyfriend's relationship with God grow?

[belovedgrathia]

My ex bf found a new one and chose her over me. Though painful still I let him go and let him be with someone of his choice. Before finally breaking up with him, I shared the great news to him and He accepted Jesus as His Lord and Savior. Now I'm relieved that I've done my part but I just don't want to leave him that way. I want to disciple him and help him grow spiritually but how can I do it? The time I shared to him the good news was also the last I met him. I chose to stay away from him to allow myself to be healed and move on. What can I do? Would I just let him find his way and leave him alone and just pray for him instead? It's even difficult for me to pray him coz i remember the pain the moment I think of him so I usually try to ignore and shake off a thought of him. Please pray for me and him as well...

 

[faroukfarouk]

Hi there; careful you're not burned again by the ex. Wanting his spiritual good is a healthy sign, of course. But we need to concentrate on prayer and the Scriptures in our own lives, whether or not others share similar aspirations. Blessings.

 

[Queen-bee]

Hi Belovedgrathia;

I know, we don't know each other but seeing is how you posted this for all I'm assuming, you wish for some answers so please, take this with a grain of salt .


Though, I don't exactly know what you're going through, however I know what you're going through. I don't dare compare but I do understand completely. I'm going to be honest with you Dear; you need to let him go. He chose someone else: as painful, as I know this is but in order for you to completely heal you need let go. You may not see it now because you're young so you have your own thoughts contrary to elders because you're still finding yourself & growing in God. If you were to try & stay after this young man has already left, & moved on: you are not only holding yourself back but you're keeping yourself from what God has for you. You're allowing your carnal flesh to come in & confuse you into thinking that you owe this young man something because you helped him towards the right path in life. Dear; you are not God: you can't do all this by yourself , you're taking on too much responsibility & to play the role as someone's Savior is awfully big shoes to fill. You're putting too much strain & burden on your shoulders & what is already a broken heart: this isn't what God has for you. God is the only one that can truly help him much less, keep him on the good path &firmly grounded. No matter what you do: it has to be up to this young man as to what he's going to do with his life & his commitment to God which is his responsibility not yours, Dear. To be in such a heartbreaking situation: it's challenging enough to keep your pillars strong, your gizzards firm & your slat good much less, someone else's. You need to step back & let God take care of this, you've got to trust & believe that God knows what he's doing even in the darkest hour. So many times we think by staying in situations that are not healthy for us we're somehow doing God's work but what's going to end up happening when all parties involved aren't equally yoked or balanced: they are going to fall & bring everything down with them because neither paid attention to their foot-hold, foundation & keeping their all firm in God first. What happens when you don't have a strong foundation: our pillars fall & our foundation caves in because were too busy with other things to let God work & we let the Devil distract us. I know you've heard this a lot but it's true; God doesn't want us to suffer, his plan for us is to flourish not just thrive! God wants us to LIVE: it's the Devil who steals, kills & destroys this is all of the Devil. Regardless as to whether or not you both are meant to be this is of the Devil: heartache, confusion & grief are not of God. You're projecting on the wrong person here; I think we've all gotten into the scientific/ progressive way of thinking that "Life just happens" but that's not so. You need to put this back on Devil's shoulders as rightful so! As a Princess of God the Daughter of the only King: demand that he pay you back & claim what is yours! Take back what the Devil stole: this doesn't mean to get the boy back by any means (lol). We've confused life lessons with self infliction. There’s a huge difference between the problems we create & situations God allows to be used for a life lesson. Though, yes, in the end we can learn from either but God doesn’t want us to be in content hardship. Sometimes there was not a life lesson to be learned. When we create our own hell we have to take the road of redemption: now through this process Yes, God can bring us out, help us, restore us, re birth us but he has to create a lesson for us since we’ve detoured for the planed route. Nobody deserves to go through heartache much less, years worth: which is what you'll be setting yourself up for by continuing to still act like the young man's girlfriend. Another thing; you aren't his Mother or a beckon call girl so don't ever put yourself in that place: which is also what you're doing by sending this young the message of that no matter what he does you'll be there to clean up his mess. Don’t think, he won’t get use to this either. You're purpose isn't meant to be a wet blanket; you are a Princess, you have a crown & a thrown so starting acting like it! You are worth more than this. By still trying with this young man you'll be holding him back from what God is trying to do in his life, not just that but you could also be keeping him from the one God has for him. The young man has chosen another yet you're stilling wanting God to help your relationship out over the man that God does have for you: think about that. God's plan for you was created way before you were: believe that& believe his purpose is so much bigger than this & it's bigger than you can imagine. It may not seem like it right now but it's true so why would he want you to be in situation where it's bring you down, hurting you & causing you confusion. You're so focused on this young man: you're not paying attention to yourself. God tells us we must take care of ourselves if we are to help others so how can you help this young man when you're not helping yourself here. Not only are you still hurting & haven't completely healed or moved on, nor allowed God to take full complete control over this whole situation, you've crowed yourself God here by taking on God's responsibility to be this boy's Guardian. I know you still care very deeply for this young man & it seems he may have been your first; this is going to be a lot more challenging through the years as this boy moves on in life & grows when you've still held on. Not just that but you're going to end up confusing this man & yourself further as well, as stop you from growing. Many times we think helping someone by being their rock we're doing God work but God's the only one who brings true salvation & a strong foundation: not us. You're not God: we don't do the saving & it isn't our job to do the work of someone else. Yes, we are all suppose to help others but in the end it's their choice & only this young man can make this choice as to whether or not he wants to disciple. You're setting yourself for expectations that are only going to hurt you. So to answer your question: How to make my ex boyfriend's relationship stronger with God. Here's answer: Only he can, he has to make this choice & then work at his commitment with God> not you. All you need to do is pray & be an example= simple.



To do list; #1.) You both need to be in active ministries where there are elders who have families & have gone through hardships= this gives them a little more experience under their belt so you can learn how to see confirmation, be guided properly & of course, grow . There also needs to be a lot of young Leaders in training in this ministry= this will help you both to get inspired by being around lively bunch who’s heads are on right & will encourage you both. #2.)Go over the basics when you have your night time devotion; God’s plan &purpose for you. Who God, created you to be. What is it exactly that we are supposed to do, as far, as being a leader. God’s, will. God’s, love. The difference, between the Devil’s, attacks & created drama, from our own hands. #3.)Take a Missionary Trip this summer, even if it’s in your home town. Allow God to use you, for a much bigger cause other than a boy who lost the best thing that he was blessed with. Buy red lipstick & remember that you are Princess.
Don’t forget, the most important… Never stop seeking God first, praying & keep on believing. Remember God's the only reliable source, for he has gone through it all & knows, exactly where you are & how you feel.


P.s. Music helps me so here's something, I thought might help. Tenth Avenue North~ By Your Side By Your Side - Tenth Avenue North - YouTube & Tenth Avenue North~ Love is here Love Is Here - Tenth Avenue North (Lyrics) - YouTube
Have a blessed week & I hope you find what you're seeking for, Dear .