How to Respect your husband as a father

[Deliver]

I know and their only reasoning that I apparently do not know how to take care of a child and couldnt possible have any idea even though I work with kids from 3 weeks- 5years old is because I am 19 and one doesnt wake me up at night

You have a lot more of an idea of what it's like to raise children than some teens because like you said, you are raising other people's kids. The parents that leave them for those long hours every day are hardly really raising them at all IMO. Of course some have to, to make ends meet.
It's also true though, that when you have your little family inc husband to take care of, it's a whole nother story. There will be frustrations and times when you want to shout at your husband, even in front of the kids.
It is great to have a guideline of how you would like to be as a wife and mother but I would try to listen to the input of older women who've mentioned their stories because it helps when reality happens and we fail to be a "good, standard Christian wife/mother".

 

[breno785au]

In that case, I'm not sure I'm cut out for it!

That's good then because you can never prepare yourself enough for it, just let His strength be perfected in your weakness.

 

[Mary96]

You have a lot more of an idea of what it's like to raise children than some teens because like you said, you are raising other people's kids. The parents that leave them for those long hours every day are hardly really raising them at all IMO. Of course some have to, to make ends meet.
It's also true though, that when you have your little family inc husband to take care of, it's a whole nother story. There will be frustrations and times when you want to shout at your husband, even in front of the kids.
It is great to have a guideline of how you would like to be as a wife and mother but I would try to listen to the input of older women who've mentioned their stories because it helps when reality happens and we fail to be a "good, standard Christian wife/mother".

Everyone makes mistakes but that doesnt mean you cant strive to meet your goals. I do not like it when woman try to make it this impossible task to be a good mother and wife. Is it hard for some woman to stay at home with kids be submissive to their husband yes but for some woman it is easy and comes more natural. Everyone is wire different and everyone wants different things in life.

 

[know1]

I know and their only reasoning that I apparently do not know how to take care of a child and couldnt possible have any idea even though I work with kids from 3 weeks- 5years old is because I am 19 and one doesnt wake me up at night

I have a little advice for you before I go, if you don't mind.
People tell my wife and I that we are so blessed to have such wonderful children. And they truly have been, but there was much care given to them, most of which came from my wife. She stayed home while I worked. We also home schooled our children.
I firmly believe that our children are so loving and snuggly is because they were raise in our bed. They slept with us, prayed, talked, played games, read stories, and the like. Much time was spent and love given to them.
Most say put them in a room by themselves, but you will get back what you put out.
ALWAYS encourage them, and tell them they can do all things with God's help, even though it doesn't look like it's possible.
They will become what tell them they are. If you say they are smart, like I always told my children. Then they will become smart, like my children are. If you tell them they can't do anything right. Then they will grow into a big failure in life.
My children are so wonderful because my wife was the best mother to them. She was and is diligent and consistent, praying with them twice a day, every day. And the list goes on and on.
If my wife, who was and is a wonderful mother, can raise two children that others envied and called us blessed because of how they were raised, then so can you have the same, if you raise them right. Then others will envy and call you blessed as well, instead of the hell they are telling you that it's going to be.

 

[secularhermit]

There is a HUGE difference between raising children and taking care of them.

I could say it this way:

"There is a HUGE difference between "getting" children and taking care of them."

 

[eyesonly]

• Support his decisions in front of your kids.
• Share concerns or things you don't agree on in private.
• Speak highly of him to your kids.
• Treat your husband like a man not a child & do not refer to him as "my other child" (I hate when woman say that).
• Acknowledge that your husband have valuable wisdom & insights.
• Honor your husbands rules even when he is not around.
• Call your child out on disrespect or disobedience to their dad.

Think some people might be missing the point here. She is simply stating how to respect your husband as a father. Too many marriages these days, the kids are used as ammunition, and each parent tries to make the other look bad in the eyes of the kids.
Both parents need to be on the same page with the children so they don't learn to divide and conquer to get whatever they want.

Young lady, i hope you find a man who will truly appreciate your ideology and not take advantage of it. One piece of advice from an old guy, keep your husband sexually satisfied as well, and you will be treated like a queen, and he will never leave you or cheat on you.

Please ladies don't forget what the word tells the husband on how to act to his wife. And please see the word submit in a spiritual way because the lord knows who we are, how man and women are built, and he has created the perfect guidelines for a beautiful marriage if we can see it on the spiritual level and not the flesh mind level as our natural instincts tend to do.

They who submit in the power of the word have the power over those who stand up in the weakness of the flesh.

God bless

 

[eyesonly]

Well, with all due respect dear, wait until your third baby is projectile vomiting across the livingroom, your toddler is taking a total tantrum spinning on the kitchen floor and screaming his lungs out for a cookie while you're trying not to burn the gravy on the stove, as your 4 year old dismantles the front doorknob with a screwdriver he found on the coffee table and your husband's banging angrily on the door because he can't get into the house after an extremely stressful day at work. And your in-laws are coming over for dinner that evening.

With all due respect, what does all that have to do with respecting your husband as the father of the children in the eyes of the children.
Of course there will always be tough times in marriage and in life, but there should be no instance to disrespect your husband as the father and also your wife as the mother in front of and to the children, ever.

I'm sure this young lady would expect to be treated the same by her husband and he have the same values as she listed. The lord does not teach women to be doormats as wives, nor does he teach man to be ogres as husbands.

I can tell you, if my ex and myself had these principles in our marriage, we would not have separated 5yrs ago after 30yrs together. It would have created a wonderful marriage that i see now since being saved year and half ago and reading the new testament on an almost daily basis.

God bless to this young lady, and any man will be so very lucky to be joined with her in marriage.

God bless

 

[secularhermit]

With all due respect, what does all that have to do with respecting your husband as the father of the children in the eyes of the children.
Of course there will always be tough times in marriage and in life, but there should be no instance to disrespect your husband as the father and also your wife as the mother in front of and to the children, ever.

I'm sure this young lady would expect to be treated the same by her husband and he have the same values as she listed. The lord does not teach women to be doormats as wives, nor does he teach man to be ogres as husbands.

I can tell you, if my ex and myself had these principles in our marriage, we would not have separated 5yrs ago after 30yrs together. It would have created a wonderful marriage that i see now since being saved year and half ago and reading the new testament on an almost daily basis.

God bless to this young lady, and any man will be so very lucky to be joined with her in marriage.

God bless

May the Almighty rewards you, a 2nd time.

 

[secularhermit]

After these good tips: "keep your husband sexually satisfied as well, and you will be treated like a queen, and he will never leave you or cheat on you." I´d like to add for any woman who reads: Do not ask too much things, when you yourself are unwilling to giving anything more and, do not get overweighted.

 

[psychomom]

• Support his decisions in front of your kids.
• Share concerns or things you don't agree on in private.
• Speak highly of him to your kids.
• Treat your husband like a man not a child & do not refer to him as "my other child" (I hate when woman say that).
• Acknowledge that your husband have valuable wisdom & insights.
• Honor your husbands rules even when he is not around.
• Call your child out on disrespect or disobedience to their dad.

these are good principles...when your husband is living as God commands...
and i can see they would be difficult if he is in rebellion to the Lord.

these are also good principles for husbands toward their wives in the kids' eyes.

Mary, i have been a full time child care giver, and i have been a full time mom.
i have worked outside the home as a mom, and have spent most of our kiddos's
childhoods inside the home, home schooling them.

please believe me when i say there's a component missing in child care giving
that is present in parenting. it isn't only the weekend/ middle of the night stuff.
(although the 24/7/365 is big...really big)

it's a heart component, and the knowledge of responsibility before God.
when i was babysitting (the old fashioned term ), i knew i loved those children as my own.

i was..... mistaken.

 

[secularhermit]

Yes, Mom!

It´s easier saying it than doing it. And, if a mother is left alone (particularly when dads have to work) that makes it worst.

 

[psychomom]

Yes, Mom!

It´s easier saying it than doing it. And, if a mother is left alone (particularly when dads have to work) that makes it worst.

yep. all the marriage and parenting stuff is much easier saying than doing.

and may the Lord guide and protect the fatherless...

 

[secularhermit]

In fact, He does it that way, also when a person lacked a nurturing dad or "model" mother.

Psa 27:10 Even if my mother and father leave me, the LORD will take me in.

Psa 68:5 God, who lives in his holy palace, is a father to orphans, and he takes care of widows.
Psa 68:6 God provides homes for those who are lonely. He frees people from prison and makes them happy. But those who turn against him will live in the desert.


Pro 15:20 Wise children make their parents happy. Foolish children bring them shame.

 

[WebersHome]

-
I overheard a female caller on radio imperiously announce to Dr. Laura
that she couldn't respect her husband. So Dr. Laura asked her why. The
caller responded: Because he hasn't earned my respect. So Laura asked the
caller: Have you earned your husband's love? The caller retorted: I don't
have to earn his love. It's a husband's duty to love his wife just as she is.

So Laura pointed out that the caller was practicing a double standard. She
demanded that her husband love her unconditionally, while refusing to
respect him unconditionally. And on top of that; had the chutzpah to dictate
the rules of engagement regardless of how her husband might feel about it.

============================================

 

[twotwo]

• Support his decisions in front of your kids.
• Share concerns or things you don't agree on in private.
• Speak highly of him to your kids.
• Treat your husband like a man not a child & do not refer to him as "my other child" (I hate when woman say that).
• Acknowledge that your husband have valuable wisdom & insights.
• Honor your husbands rules even when he is not around.
• Call your child out on disrespect or disobedience to their dad.

Respect is definitively a solid foundation for peace and happiness!

In fact, who would like to be disrespected, treated like a good for nothing!

 

[Joidevivre]

Of course, respect is everything - but there are times when a woman needs to show her children that a father's behavior is not to be respected. More and more in not only the secular world, but even among Christians.

I hate to see this - as does God - but this is so prevalent in our time. Fathers who abuse, who are alcoholics, who even sexually molest their children. Very prevalent! I see these women every week. They are ones who need to be given the freedom to walk away with their children. And the churches have usually made them feel guilty for even wanting to do so. Many years ago, I counseled a pastor's wife who beat her all the time - and would not leave him because it would be a poor reflection on the "church". How sad! How the Lord must have grieved!

I'm an old woman in age, but even years ago, my body was not respected by my father as a child. Yet we glibly give these rules of behavior to women about "how to respect their husbands as fathers". My mother was even given warning about this, but back then chose to blame the "other woman" my father chose as being the liar.

Rare, indeed, is the marriage where everyone plays their roles in the right way. Even I failed many times. There is need for helpful advice to "real" marriages today. What I'm seeing in the churches are things hidden - and gives the appearance of "all is well". What the op gave is what a 19 year old would say with her background of biblical teaching and someone who is unmarried. And I truly hope she marries a man who matches her ideals. They can be reached - but not without many struggles along the way. It is the struggles that would be helpful to teach.

And I am not known for long postings....

 

[john91]

Love this post the way some woman treat their husbands is sickening