How will i recognize him? <3
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Hi Jullianna,
I've been thinking on this, and why do you think that this will be the case? With myself I think that I have too high expectations, will the person stand out head and shoulders above the rest or is this just an expectation that society puts on us?
As I'm sure you know marriage isn't perfect, but I wonder if, at least personally, I have idolised the person I want to marry in my head so that no one can match the standard I have in my head and no relationship would ever meet the hopes I have? As such if I am expecting someone to be miles ahead of anyone else I would dismiss a perfectly good and perfect match for myself?
As far as feelings go, I haven't felt anything for with the possible exception of one lovely girl I met recently, nothing came of it though and I was very unsure about it all.
I like what has been said about the life direction, going in the same place, it is still something I am thinking through I think, especially as my life seems to have so many open paths at the moment.
One of my friends has said (and I think that this has happened with him) that you don't always get all gooey eyed over each other immediately, but sometimes you just learn to enjoy the persons company. (This guy is married by the way) How does this sound to you? Is this a more reasonable expectation or...?
Thoughts?
Stuey
I've been thinking on this, and why do you think that this will be the case? With myself I think that I have too high expectations, will the person stand out head and shoulders above the rest or is this just an expectation that society puts on us?
As I'm sure you know marriage isn't perfect, but I wonder if, at least personally, I have idolised the person I want to marry in my head so that no one can match the standard I have in my head and no relationship would ever meet the hopes I have? As such if I am expecting someone to be miles ahead of anyone else I would dismiss a perfectly good and perfect match for myself?
As far as feelings go, I haven't felt anything for with the possible exception of one lovely girl I met recently, nothing came of it though and I was very unsure about it all.
I like what has been said about the life direction, going in the same place, it is still something I am thinking through I think, especially as my life seems to have so many open paths at the moment.
One of my friends has said (and I think that this has happened with him) that you don't always get all gooey eyed over each other immediately, but sometimes you just learn to enjoy the persons company. (This guy is married by the way) How does this sound to you? Is this a more reasonable expectation or...?
Thoughts?
Stuey
no. my man is EXACTLY the ONE my Heavenly Father has picked out for me.
i aint marrying just any old 'good match'
i don't want the permissible will of the Lord, but the good and perfect will of the Lord.
i'm waiting for HIS BEST.
Julianna's answer was perfect.
and exactly what i needed to hear.
i love my husband so much. He's everything God knew I needed.
i'm waiting for One Man.
well. and Yeshua. ok. so maybe i'm waiting for 2 men.
<3
i aint marrying just any old 'good match'
i don't want the permissible will of the Lord, but the good and perfect will of the Lord.
i'm waiting for HIS BEST.
Julianna's answer was perfect.
and exactly what i needed to hear.
i love my husband so much. He's everything God knew I needed.
i'm waiting for One Man.
well. and Yeshua. ok. so maybe i'm waiting for 2 men.
<3
W
Yes, Jullianna is partially right. But how are you going to recognize him?????
Are you going to to go walking "blind"?, your question was how you are going to recognize him, it's obvious that God has a man for you, but you need to have these priorities in mind (that he must have God first, he must be mature, spiritually mature, you must have the same vision) in order to actually recorgnize HIM.
Are you going to to go walking "blind"?, your question was how you are going to recognize him, it's obvious that God has a man for you, but you need to have these priorities in mind (that he must have God first, he must be mature, spiritually mature, you must have the same vision) in order to actually recorgnize HIM.
God will show me.
He told me through two dreams and a vision that my ex bf was not the one for me. i have no reason to doubt his sovereignty over my life and my love story now.
He is faithful. and i was wrong to doubt him and i was wrong to fear he's give me a guy i didn't like to marry. that was childish and it came bc a 42 year old asked me to coffee last week.
God first is a given.
but everything that Jullianna said calmed my heart and reminded me that god does indeed have my back. it's fine.
i'm fine. God is good.
i need no other lovers.
He told me through two dreams and a vision that my ex bf was not the one for me. i have no reason to doubt his sovereignty over my life and my love story now.
He is faithful. and i was wrong to doubt him and i was wrong to fear he's give me a guy i didn't like to marry. that was childish and it came bc a 42 year old asked me to coffee last week.
God first is a given.
but everything that Jullianna said calmed my heart and reminded me that god does indeed have my back. it's fine.
i'm fine. God is good.
i need no other lovers.
J
Hi Jullianna,
I've been thinking on this, and why do you think that this will be the case? With myself I think that I have too high expectations, will the person stand out head and shoulders above the rest or is this just an expectation that society puts on us?
As I'm sure you know marriage isn't perfect, but I wonder if, at least personally, I have idolised the person I want to marry in my head so that no one can match the standard I have in my head and no relationship would ever meet the hopes I have? As such if I am expecting someone to be miles ahead of anyone else I would dismiss a perfectly good and perfect match for myself?
As far as feelings go, I haven't felt anything for with the possible exception of one lovely girl I met recently, nothing came of it though and I was very unsure about it all.
I like what has been said about the life direction, going in the same place, it is still something I am thinking through I think, especially as my life seems to have so many open paths at the moment.
One of my friends has said (and I think that this has happened with him) that you don't always get all gooey eyed over each other immediately, but sometimes you just learn to enjoy the persons company. (This guy is married by the way) How does this sound to you? Is this a more reasonable expectation or...?
Thoughts?
Stuey
I've been thinking on this, and why do you think that this will be the case? With myself I think that I have too high expectations, will the person stand out head and shoulders above the rest or is this just an expectation that society puts on us?
As I'm sure you know marriage isn't perfect, but I wonder if, at least personally, I have idolised the person I want to marry in my head so that no one can match the standard I have in my head and no relationship would ever meet the hopes I have? As such if I am expecting someone to be miles ahead of anyone else I would dismiss a perfectly good and perfect match for myself?
As far as feelings go, I haven't felt anything for with the possible exception of one lovely girl I met recently, nothing came of it though and I was very unsure about it all.
I like what has been said about the life direction, going in the same place, it is still something I am thinking through I think, especially as my life seems to have so many open paths at the moment.
One of my friends has said (and I think that this has happened with him) that you don't always get all gooey eyed over each other immediately, but sometimes you just learn to enjoy the persons company. (This guy is married by the way) How does this sound to you? Is this a more reasonable expectation or...?
Thoughts?
Stuey
Reasonable?
I don't want reasonable. I want exceptional. That's what God does best. He did it once. He can do it again..and again..
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J
I do think lists serve a purpose, that purpose being signs of things we do NOT want in our lives, such as certain behaviors in others that we know with certainty would be damaging or extremely difficult for us to live with on a daily basis or cause us to not respect a person or trust them as we would need to.
I'm not talking about getting all gooey eyed. Relationships need to be entered into with eyes wide open. We need to take our time, pray, question, examine. But when someone comes along beside you and, hard as you look, you don't see those flaws, the warning bells do NOT go off and they even cause you to want to be a better person, you'll know.
I'm not talking about getting all gooey eyed. Relationships need to be entered into with eyes wide open. We need to take our time, pray, question, examine. But when someone comes along beside you and, hard as you look, you don't see those flaws, the warning bells do NOT go off and they even cause you to want to be a better person, you'll know.
I think I agree... lists of what we need can be useful, mind you, I think our instincts can be spot on providing we are using our head as well. Thanks for reminding me about the gooey eyes thing, I think I've went into two relationships like that, the first one ended poorly and the second was a disaster on my part, lately I have just been too cautious to be gooey eyed but now I think about it, that is a good thing. We just want what we don't have.
Hmm, I find it a bit difficult with the situation at the moment. For example I enjoy the young Lady's company heaps and we can talk about a lot of things. I can also imagine myself enjoying being married to her - yet - at the same time, I don't really feel like I want to marry her specifically. And when I consider being married it feels like more of a 'I can imagine marrying someone like you in like 5 years time." I feel like she meets my requirements, but doesn't really exceed them and I don't exactly feel excited or anything. This girl is an incredibly Godly girl and I have a huge respect for her, but yeah, the rest is confusing. What would you guys think on this situation? Feel free to ask more, or clarifying questions if you need.
How do I know if this is me going "thanks God for giving me something that I asked for and that meets everything I need, yet I want more." Being an ungrateful and spoiled brat so to speak. Things are good at the moment though, we are both comfortable with being friends with each other. =)
Also like a lot of this feels like just issues with contentment - aka being happy but not content - which is how I would describe my current situation. Like I feel like if I had lower expectations that I would be so happy with this kind of thing and so thankful and excited to God. mmmm
Hmm, I find it a bit difficult with the situation at the moment. For example I enjoy the young Lady's company heaps and we can talk about a lot of things. I can also imagine myself enjoying being married to her - yet - at the same time, I don't really feel like I want to marry her specifically. And when I consider being married it feels like more of a 'I can imagine marrying someone like you in like 5 years time." I feel like she meets my requirements, but doesn't really exceed them and I don't exactly feel excited or anything. This girl is an incredibly Godly girl and I have a huge respect for her, but yeah, the rest is confusing.
What would you guys think on this situation? Feel free to ask more, or clarifying questions if you need.How do I know if this is me going "thanks God for giving me something that I asked for and that meets everything I need, yet I want more." Being an ungrateful and spoiled brat so to speak. Things are good at the moment though, we are both comfortable with being friends with each other. =)
Also like a lot of this feels like just issues with contentment - aka being happy but not content - which is how I would describe my current situation. Like I feel like if I had lower expectations that I would be so happy with this kind of thing and so thankful and excited to God. mmmm
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What do you mean? Like balance as in, into her with your heart and into her with my head?
Hmm, I'm not 100% sure I am fully in with my head either, there are things I am concerned about, and I think one of them was one of the things on my list, which she might meet but barely. Hmm, it is difficult, she is such a lovely girl.
As for loving this woman as Christ loves the Church, I love her, but only as a friend and that is a really good point, it will be so much easier to love someone as Jesus loves us if I love her and if she is someone who is easy to love and who I want to with all my heart. It is so much easier to do nice things for people you care about and love.
I think that trying to force my heart to do anything is a stupid and horrible thing to do and just won't work out well. I guess all I can do is be friends with her and maybe sometime in the future God will change my heart. What do you think? Do you think this a bad idea? Or is it just immaturity in not being ready to love someone as I will need to in marriage? - Like, wanting more and not being willing to give? Or is that just marriage - the difficulty in it?
Hmm, I'm not 100% sure I am fully in with my head either, there are things I am concerned about, and I think one of them was one of the things on my list, which she might meet but barely. Hmm, it is difficult, she is such a lovely girl.
As for loving this woman as Christ loves the Church, I love her, but only as a friend and that is a really good point, it will be so much easier to love someone as Jesus loves us if I love her and if she is someone who is easy to love and who I want to with all my heart. It is so much easier to do nice things for people you care about and love.
I think that trying to force my heart to do anything is a stupid and horrible thing to do and just won't work out well. I guess all I can do is be friends with her and maybe sometime in the future God will change my heart. What do you think? Do you think this a bad idea? Or is it just immaturity in not being ready to love someone as I will need to in marriage? - Like, wanting more and not being willing to give? Or is that just marriage - the difficulty in it?
J
I mean that there are a lot of people who can meet all of the qualifications we may have on a list, but if we don't love them the way scripture tells us to, we won't be able to fulfill our obligations in that regard. It can't be forced. It's either there or it isn't.
BUT, if a man truly loves a woman as Christ loves the Church, he can very easily love her imperfections as well (the beautiful faults Liamson discussed once in this forum)...especially when he remembers he has some too. I say this because Christ loves the Church without expecting us to be perfect, doesn't He?
BUT, if a man truly loves a woman as Christ loves the Church, he can very easily love her imperfections as well (the beautiful faults Liamson discussed once in this forum)...especially when he remembers he has some too.
I say this because Christ loves the Church without expecting us to be perfect, doesn't He?