Husband doesn’t want me to be baptized

[AbidingInHim]

Hi AbidingInHim! First things first, the Bible says about a wife who has an unbelieving husband:

1 Peter 3:1-2 - 1 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

Also pray to the Lord Jesus about all of this. The Lord let this happen so you can learn to trust Him in your marriage regarding your unbelieving husband.

Please read all of 1 Peter 3. There is a general instruction for everyone to do good even in adverse times because the Lord will watch over you. But it's also very applicable to your situation with your husband:

1 Peter 3:13-15 - 13 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.” 15 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect....

I noticed that you said that your husband made threats to break up your marriage - put that anxious situation in the Lord's hands:

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

So from this little Bible study:

1. Let your godly behavior speak the gospel to your husband
2. Don't fear when he threatens to break up the marriage
3. Put God the Father, the Lord Jesus, and the Holy Spirit first in your life in all things
4. Cast your anxiety on God and He will help you through it all

About baptism, it won't save you, but it IS a command of God for having repented of your sins. But note that there's no deadline on when you should have it done.

Let God be the one to dictate when you should be baptized - not the church (not their fault though because the Bible does seem to recommend water baptism at the earliest opportunity). So double-check with the Lord about this scheduled one. Maybe He wants to work on your husband's heart before that? But really, ask God about it.

I'll pray to for your situation! Having God as your Lord and Savior is the best thing to ever happen to you and will be a blessing for your family.

❧

thank you that’s all very good advice and also thank you for your prayers
I know the Lord will lead me but I need to conduct myself better I know that.
I stood by idly and calm yesterday while he was telling my children Jesus is not real and the Bible is not true. I trust the Lord will keep my children. Inside I was fuming 😤
I am growing. 6 months ago something like that would have been impossible for me to remain quiet.

 

[Cameron143]

That's ignorance of the Bible.
My post is from the word of God.

Perhaps you should reread Proverbs 3:5-6.

 

[Magenta]

Perhaps you should reread Proverbs 3:5-6.

Proverbs3-5-6

 

[ButterflyJones]

Perhaps you should reread Proverbs 3:5-6.

Given its text perhaps you should read Proverbs 3.
And stop picking on my posts because you have an issue.

 

[ButterflyJones]

thank you that’s all very good advice and also thank you for your prayers
I know the Lord will lead me but I need to conduct myself better I know that.
I stood by idly and calm yesterday while he was telling my children Jesus is not real and the Bible is not true. I trust the Lord will keep my children. Inside I was fuming 😤
I am growing. 6 months ago something like that would have been impossible for me to remain quiet.

What do your children say after he does something like that?

 

[AbidingInHim]

Did he tell you any other why he wanted you to wait till September? Besides the excuse he needs till then to digest this?

I can understand you feel like you're negotiating with the devil.

Follow your heart. That's God leading you in the way of righteousness.

The reason why he wants me to wait is because he wants to have a “good” summer
And he thinks as soon as I get baptized I’ll become “weird / crazy /more brainwashed”
this is his reasoning

I tried to explain I am already a Born again believer I have the Holy Sprit when I confessed my sins in repentance and asked Jesus to come into my life. That Baptism is an outward expression of the inside faith and it’s in obedience to God

He basically thinks I’m an extremist because I am on fire for the Lord. I love the word of God I read and study the Bible for hours everyday
He thinks it’s not healthy. He thinks born again believers are crazy and it’s all in our heads.
he said he’s fine with Christianity that he’s used to (grew up with)
The ritualistic orthodox faith
I told him I’m not religious and Christianity is not a religion but it’s a person. Jesus. And that is what the Bible teaches.

John 3:3 Jesus answered and said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.”
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

He was born in Jerusalem and lived in a covenant with a lot of religion Saturday was a version of our Sunday school here
And then sundays he was in church
he said people in his community would laugh at the foreigners coming to be baptized in the Jordan river.

 

[AbidingInHim]

What do your children say after he does something like that?

they were quiet. Didn’t say anything

 

[ButterflyJones]

The reason why he wants me to wait is because he wants to have a “good” summer
And he thinks as soon as I get baptized I’ll become “weird / crazy /more brainwashed”
this is his reasoning

I tried to explain I am already a Born again believer I have the Holy Sprit when I confessed my sins in repentance and asked Jesus to come into my life. That Baptism is an outward expression of the inside faith and it’s in obedience to God

He basically thinks I’m an extremist because I am on fire for the Lord. I love the word of God I read and study the Bible for hours everyday
He thinks it’s not healthy. He thinks born again believers are crazy and it’s all in our heads.
he said he’s fine with Christianity that he’s used to (grew up with)
The ritualistic orthodox faith
I told him I’m not religious and Christianity is not a religion but it’s a person. Jesus. And that is what the Bible teaches.

John 3:3 Jesus answered and said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.”
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

He was born in Jerusalem and lived in a covenant with a lot of religion Saturday was a version of our Sunday school here
And then sundays he was in church
he said people in his community would laugh at the foreigners coming to be baptized in the Jordan river.

Well, now you know to be aware of the armor of God that keeps you in his light and protection.

If it were me, I'd go on as if I were single with two children. And recognize God is testing me by allowing an atheist to challenge my resolve and faith.

I'd be baptized when the spirit led me. I'd tell my children unbelievers like daddy don't know the truth of God and that's why they don't understand it. To pray for daddy but do not believe a word he says about our faith.

The devil is leading your husband just as surely as the devil opposed Jesus at every turn during his ministry. And tempted him during his fast in the desert.

Maybe consider he thinks if he harasses you enough you'll give up on all this.
It's emotional abuse. And verbal abuse.

If it comes to making a choice, your atheist husband or God, choose God. He loves you.

 

[ButterflyJones]

they were quiet. Didn’t say anything

Understandable.

 

[Cameron143]

Given its text perhaps you should read Proverbs 3.
And stop picking on my posts because you have an issue.

I'm not picking on you or your posts. I'm commenting on them. It isn't terrible advice because it came from you but because it disagrees with the Word of God.
Wisdom that comes from above is first peaceable...James 3:17. The advice you gave would lead to further contention. My concern is for AbidingInHim and her family. If she follows your advice, more of the same will ensue.

 

[ButterflyJones]

I'm not picking on you or your posts. I'm commenting on them. It isn't terrible advice because it came from you but because it disagrees with the Word of God.
Wisdom that comes from above is first peaceable...James 3:17. The advice you gave would lead to further contention. My concern is for AbidingInHim and her family. If she follows your advice, more of the same will ensue.

There's already contention being she's married to an atheist.

If God leads her to be baptized that's what she should do. That's the Holy Spirit she's following.
If she defers to her husband, well, it's obvious given how he's opposing her at every turn.
Even the children are a target as he counters all that she teaches them about her faith.

 

[Cameron143]

There's already contention being she's married to an atheist.

If God leads her to be baptized that's what she should do. That's the Holy Spirit she's following.
If she defers to her husband, well, it's obvious given how he's opposing her at every turn.
Even the children are a target as he counters all that she teaches them about her faith.

He's not opposing her at every turn. You have only picked out a few negatives and ignored the positive. And whether he is an atheist or not, he is still the head of the family.
She has heard some very good advice here. It would be a shame if the birds came in now and gobbled it all up.
As well meaning as you may want to believe you are, your advice is not helpful and will prove harmful.

 

[2ndTimeIsTheCharm]

I'm not picking on you or your posts. I'm commenting on them. It isn't terrible advice because it came from you but because it disagrees with the Word of God.
Wisdom that comes from above is first peaceable...James 3:17. The advice you gave would lead to further contention. My concern is for AbidingInHim and her family. If she follows your advice, more of the same will ensue.

Also God holds marriage in high esteem even between a believer and unbelieving spouse. The Bible advises:

1 Corinthians 7:13-15 - 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

So this passage encourages believing spouses to stay with their unbelieving spouse and not to think like they're already single parents.

So @AbideInHim, just continue to be gracious and lovely to your husband and trusting the Lord for him. Your husband will come around! Just keep praying for his heart to turn to the Lord and get to know the Lord through you.

Also pray for your children that their hearts will turn to the Lord also. They were silent when their Dad was trying to turn them against you, but when children are like that, it means they are paying extra special attention to what is going on. They're trying to figure out which side they should be on. Let them know that their Dad doesn't know the Lord yet but that God loves him and them as well.

-=<♥>=-

More about baptism. I got saved when I was a teenager. My good friend who supposedly got saved too backed out of being baptized. On top of that, none of my own family understood what I was doing and didn't want to go to the event. So I went to my baptism alone. I was fine with all that. Just too happy that I got saved and have God (the FULL TRINITY!) in attendance at my baptism!

❧

 

[AbidingInHim]

Also God holds marriage in high esteem even between a believer and unbelieving spouse. The Bible advises:

1 Corinthians 7:13-15 - 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

So this passage encourages believing spouses to stay with their unbelieving spouse and not to think like they're already single parents.

So @AbideInHim, just continue to be gracious and lovely to your husband and trusting the Lord for him. Your husband will come around! Just keep praying for his heart to turn to the Lord and get to know the Lord through you.

Also pray for your children that their hearts will turn to the Lord also. They were silent when their Dad was trying to turn them against you, but when children are like that, it means they are paying extra special attention to what is going on. They're trying to figure out which side they should be on. Let them know that their Dad doesn't know the Lord yet but that God loves him and them as well.

-=<♥>=-

More about baptism. I got saved when I was a teenager. My good friend who supposedly got saved too backed out of being baptized. On top of that, none of my own family understood what I was doing and didn't want to go to the event. So I went to my baptism alone. I was fine with all that. Just too happy that I got saved and have God (the FULL TRINITY!) in attendance at my baptism!

❧

Thanks for sharing your story 💗

I will try to be lovely and gracious …even when I want to abandon him for the hurt he’s causing me.
My flesh says that’s much easier .. but I have children to think about too. It’s confusing as well because I’m going to be receiving a large inheritance soon and it would be enough money to set myself up I wouldn’t need anything from him. Right now I’m a stay at home mom I have no source of income.
I wonder if God planned that for me for a reason or it’s a kind of test if I can remain faithful to this marriage despite the temptation of just walking away from him and not needing anything from him again. I know that sounds bad but it’s on my mind.

Yes I know God values marriage and faithfulness and another thing is the Lord chose this timing for me to be saved. It wasn’t before I met my husband and would have married a Christian man.
My circumstances are not ideal but as long as I have Christ I should be content in any circumstance
This forum has been very helpful I want to thank everyone sincerely

 

[ButterflyJones]

He's not opposing her at every turn. You have only picked out a few negatives and ignored the positive. And whether he is an atheist or not, he is still the head of the family.
She has heard some very good advice here. It would be a shame if the birds came in now and gobbled it all up.
As well meaning as you may want to believe you are, your advice is not helpful and will prove harmful.

You really don't know your Bible.
And you have not followed her posts.

And contrary to your protestation your posts are not opinion when replying to me. It's adversarial.

Others have noted the same thing. You don't know scripture as well as you pretend.

Your advice and attitude toward her situation is unbiblical.

When you claim an atheist is head of a Christian woman, you have no business in this thread. Because that is a lie.

 

[Karlon]

Hi everyone
I’m married to an unbeliever and I’ve been saved for a year now and it’s been a huge problem for my husband to understand it all and the changes he’s seen in me since being born again. He doesn’t think I need to be baptized because I’ve been baptized as an infant. He thinks adult baptism is rediculous. He doesn’t want me to be in church every Sunday but has “compromised” with every other week me going with our three children. He thinks it’s a big disruption to our family time together on Sundays. I’ve agreed to this for now to keep the peace. I have other opportunities for fellowship. Every Wednesday my children’s school has chapel which I always attend. Im not 100% happy about the compromise obviously but a pastor of my friend said I should accept that as my ultimate goal would be to win him to the Lord and not push him to be angry about the situation. Now we have a new issue in which I want to be baptized at my next opportunity at my church. Which is mid June. My husband for some reason feels “HE’S” not ready for that. His reason is he thinks it will change me to be even more “brainwashed” as he calls it. He says he didn’t marry this person and now he’s “stuck” (because of our children)
He is asking me to go slow and let him digest the situation and wait till September and he said he would even attend it but only if I wait till then. If I go do it any earlier he said (threatened) I should just not come home. He’s already trying to turn the kids against me for revenge. Saying the Bible isn’t true and Jesus is not real. If I agree to waiting till September (which I feel I’m negotiating with Satan if I do)The house will be peaceful and I can keep on reading the Bible to the kids and take them to their Christian school.
If I do what I feel I’m commanded to do as a professing believer in Christ and obedience to God and get baptized as soon as I can he is threatening to take the kids out of school and put them in public and turn the whole house upside down basically.
I really need some good advice
🙏 and of course prayers.

lets get this proper: he's an UNBELIEVER & he thinks you shouldn't get baptized? wow! what does he know? he is the disruption. you do know where atheists end up at they're passing when they die right? show him 2nd Corinthians 6:2, Hebrews 3:7,8 & Psalm 95:7,8. he should learn all the events going oin the world today that are Bible related. it certainly seems like to millions of Christians that the end is near & the Rapture imminent! he says the Bible isn't real. reminds me of the greatest question i ever created that i ask atheists which is: "do you have proof that there's no proof"?! the biggest mistake atheists make is that they're looking for someone to prove God exists. NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!!! GOD'S HOLY SPIRIT DOES THE PROVING OR REVEALING!!!!: Romans 8:16, 1st John 5:10. get everyone you know to pray for his salvation immediately! i will also pray. get the church congregation to pray.

 

[ButterflyJones]

@AbidingInHim,
When you are new to the faith it can seem overwhelming at times to know what to do.

This resource is excellent imo for finding scripture that pertains to any situation or question.
https://www.openbible.info/topics/

Search there for atheist,
And, atheist husband.

You are a child of God. God is your king. If you suppress what you feel God is leading you to do in order to placate your unbelieving husband, that isn't fair to you or your children.

Live your faith openly. Jesus said in Matthew 10:33, but whoever denies me before people, I will deny him also before my Father in heaven.

Don't keep your faith under a bushel. Live it openly and honestly.
Your resolve can be an inspiration to your husband. If it be God's will he may change his heart.

But if you compromise the honest sincerity of your faith to placate your husband you are choosing to compromise yourself to an unbeliever.

Think of the example that sets for your children when you're leading them in the faith you hold dear and by example.

Your husband is opposing you and contradicting all that you instill in them about Jesus.

Consider he's trying to make life so miserable for you that you'll come out of this "phase",and return to normal.

He should support you. Especially when he was once in the church.

If you compromise one one aspect of your faith and practice, that can embolden him to seek more concessions.

God be with you.

 

[Gideon300]

yes it’s hard to do when is is so hostile. I feel like a failure
I really worry that I don’t have love in me for my husband. How do I love a man who says *F* Jesus and I sh*t on Jesus
He always blasphemes against the Lord
He says I am not mentally well because I believe as I do and said (threatened) to put me in a mental hospital
I’m not joking he’s said disgusting things that make me repulsed by him.
If he denies Jesus he is my enemy
How do I love my enemy and remain married and love him
I pray for his salvation but the lord revealed to me it’s only out of my selfish ambition for him to be saved because it would make an easier life for me. He mocks me for praying before meals ( I can only do it in silence if I say out loud he will get angry) or for “Bible thumping” as he calls it. I cannot read the Bible around him or watch anything that has to do with Christianity

I don’t really care about his salvation at this point if I’m being honest with myself. That scares me because I should care. I am praying for God to help me love him. I Understand he’s just angry and he doesn’t mean these things. I try to Focus on his good qualities as a husband and father.
I feel that until I can learn to love him and actually care about his salvation then I can’t expect the Lord to hear my requests.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Your reactions are completely normal. God expects nothing from you. If you were able to love your husband as he is now, you would not need Jesus.

I faced a situation where I was told I had an incurable medical condition. It was not life threatening but for sure made my life miserable. I said to the Lord that I could not face suffering for the rest of my life. He told me that I did not have to. He told me to treat each day as if it was the only day I had to face the problem. He reminded me that Jesus said, "Don't worry about tomorrow" and Paul said, "Forgetting what lies behind..........." So I'd go to bed thanking God that I'd made it through that day.

A few weeks later, the hospital advised me that they had a relatively minor procedure that could resolve the problem. I had the procedure and I'm back to normal. God's grace surely is sufficient.

You need to let Jesus be your love for your husband. He loves those who hate Him. It's impossible for us. We have natural love, which is a shadow of the real thing. You also need to forgive. Impossible, right? Soon after my marriage ended, my ex wife relocated with my two kids. She did not tell me where she was going. How do you forgive that? In ourselves, we cannot. In Christ, we can do all things.

Please read this article. It's long but the principles work. I was able to forgive my ex. I met her 15 years later. There was no heat, no anger, no bitterness or resentment. Unforgiveness hinders our walk and our fellowship with God. We only hurt ourselves.

https://www.christianlife.org.au/can-you-forgive-from-your-heart

 

[Cameron143]

You really don't know your Bible.
And you have not followed her posts.

And contrary to your protestation your posts are not opinion when replying to me. It's adversarial.

Others have noted the same thing. You don't know scripture as well as you pretend.

Your advice and attitude toward her situation is unbiblical.

When you claim an atheist is head of a Christian woman, you have no business in this thread. Because that is a lie.

I agree that you are adversarial but it's not personal to me. She's married. She took a vow before God. She needs to honor her vow. If she does, she will be blessed in a variety of ways. If she doesn't, things will get worse.

God's blessing will attend her obedience. Obedience is working through her marriage, not around it.

 

[HopeinHim98]

That's ignorance of the Bible.
My post is from the word of God.

The heart is deceitful...and desperately wicked, who can know it?