Husband doesn’t want me to be baptized

ButterflyJones · Apr 24, 2023

Not pertaining to Christians.
Matthew 22:37And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.

Romans 2:29 But a Jew is one inwardly, and circumcision is a matter of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter. His praise is not from man but from God.

God circumcises the heart. Deuteronomy 30.

AbidingInHim · Apr 24, 2023

Gideon300 said:

Don't be too hard on yourself. Your reactions are completely normal. God expects nothing from you. If you were able to love your husband as he is now, you would not need Jesus.

I faced a situation where I was told I had an incurable medical condition. It was not life threatening but for sure made my life miserable. I said to the Lord that I could not face suffering for the rest of my life. He told me that I did not have to. He told me to treat each day as if it was the only day I had to face the problem. He reminded me that Jesus said, "Don't worry about tomorrow" and Paul said, "Forgetting what lies behind..........." So I'd go to bed thanking God that I'd made it through that day.

A few weeks later, the hospital advised me that they had a relatively minor procedure that could resolve the problem. I had the procedure and I'm back to normal. God's grace surely is sufficient.

You need to let Jesus be your love for your husband. He loves those who hate Him. It's impossible for us. We have natural love, which is a shadow of the real thing. You also need to forgive. Impossible, right? Soon after my marriage ended, my ex wife relocated with my two kids. She did not tell me where she was going. How do you forgive that? In ourselves, we cannot. In Christ, we can do all things.

Please read this article. It's long but the principles work. I was able to forgive my ex. I met her 15 years later. There was no heat, no anger, no bitterness or resentment. Unforgiveness hinders our walk and our fellowship with God. We only hurt ourselves.

https://www.christianlife.org.au/can-you-forgive-from-your-heart

I will read that thank you so much. Thanks for sharing …
I’m sorry for your hurt as well.
I do need Jesus desperately and situations like this really show how weak I am naturally
If I was not a Christian I would forsure leave him
Of course I rubbed that in his face
It’s so hard to take a step back and zip my mouth from saying hurtful things to him especially when he’s trying to get a reaction out of me
Ive come along way but I’m still a babe in Christ

AbidingInHim · Apr 24, 2023

Cameron143 said:

Thanks for replying and I do think it’s wise to not provoke him to anger
You’re right that things Will probably escalate and I need to think of the kids too.
Yes I made vows and I know this issue is not grounds for divorce
If I was to leave it would mean a life of singleness
I want to be faithful to my commitment in my marriage
If I agree to wait on this issue it will calm things down forsure
I know I am to submit but not in sin or things commanded by God
So because he’s not forbidding it but asking to postpone it then I should choose to agree to his terms ?
I’m not putting man before God on this one ?

Cameron143 · Apr 24, 2023

AbidingInHim said:

If it's just until September I would wait. Many times God responds in our obedience and works things out for us. Give God room to work.
Continue to pursue Him in every way possible and serve your family as unto the Lord. Your prayers are your greatest ally because as you plead your cause, God will perform things on your behalf. Sheep aren't expected to make decisions. They are expected to follow. And as they do, God brings His provision. Read Psalm 23 and see just how extensive that provision is. According to verse 1, it causes you to have no wants.
God is for you. Allow Him to show you. He spared not His own Son. There is nothing good that He will withhold.

Genipher · Apr 24, 2023

Artios1 said:

Reminds me of Lee Strobel, the man who wrote The Case for Christ. His wife found Jesus before he did and he was angry because he felt like he was losing her and that she was completely different than the woman he married. He wanted to prove she was wrong so started researching about Jesus ... and discovered a bunch of evidence for Christ, eventually admitted he was wrong, and became a follower of Jesus.

AbidingInHim · Apr 24, 2023

Cameron143 said:

If it's just until September I would wait. Many times God responds in our obedience and works things out for us. Give God room to work.
Continue to pursue Him in every way possible and serve your family as unto the Lord. Your prayers are your greatest ally because as you plead your cause, God will perform things on your behalf. Sheep aren't expected to make decisions. They are expected to follow. And as they do, God brings His provision. Read Psalm 23 and see just how extensive that provision is. According to verse 1, it causes you to have no wants.
God is for you. Allow Him to show you. He spared not His own Son. There is nothing good that He will withhold.

Awe thank you yes I was praying that psalm last night actually
Slowly and meditating on every verse
I will pray and be patient

PennEd · Apr 24, 2023

Billyd said:

True Story.

A woman would get dressed for church every Sunday morning. When she started out the door, her husband stopped her at the door and told her that she couldn't go to church. She, being an obedient wife, turned around and changed clothes, and fixed lunch, then sat in the den with him and read her Bible while he watched sports on the television. This routine went on for several years. One day, out of the blue, her husband asked her why did she get dressed for church every Sunday when you know I'm going to tell you that you can't go. He reply was that she was obeying God's word. He noticed that she had left her Bible on the end table, opened to Ephesians 5. He picked up the Bible and read the Chapter. After reading it he never again told her that she couldn't go to church on Sunday morning. Months later when she went to the car, her husband was waiting for her. From that day forward, God became an integral part of their life, and the led many to Christ.

My advise. Let the scriptures on couple's relationship to each other be your guide to your decision.

I think this is exactly how God uses people to win them to Christ.

And not just spouses.

AbidingInHim · Apr 24, 2023

Genipher said:

Yeah I love that movie I wanted him to watch it with me but he’s not interested
My husband is like Lee Stobel but times 1000
😖
I feel it would take a miracle for him to humble himself before the Lord
But hey we’re talking about the creator or the universe
Nothing is too hard for God
But on the other hand some are not his sheep and he may never be saved.

Artios1 · Apr 24, 2023

Genipher said:

It definitely can happen in this situation also ....That would be wonderful ... I can see that happening!

Magenta · Apr 24, 2023

AbidingInHim said:

Psalm 23:1

Deuteronomy · Apr 25, 2023

AbidingInHim said:

Hello AbidingInHim, wow, you do have a lot on your "spiritual" plate right now! I know that you're struggling to do the right thing as you navigate through the new situation that you've found yourself in, but after reading some of the things that you said, it seems like you are on the right track to make them (the right choices, that is

).

There are two major worldviews vying for your attention and allegiance right now, one secular and one Christian (flesh and spirit), so continue to be patient and careful not to be enticed into falling for the wisdom of this world again (as it is very easy thing to do

).

Another member mentioned your need to trust and follow God and His word (instead of your feelings), which I believe is great advice

Not that your feelings are always wrong, but you can be assured that they are when what they are telling you to do conflicts with God's word (Satan is the one who is almost always behind the deceptions and 1/2 truths that drive us away from God and toward the world again, and he most often uses our "feelings" to do so, to get us to believe his lies, instead of trusting God/His word). So, keep choosing to live your life differently than the world would have you do, by guarding (rather than by following) your heart .. e.g. Romans 12:2; 2 Corinthians 10:5; Ephesians 6:10-17; James 4:7!!

It seems to me that your husband loves you, respects you, and because he does, loves the life that he has with you and is afraid of losing it. Perhaps you should continue to honor those precious things by continuing to consider what he is going through too (as someone who is clearly struggling to make sense of a different you, a different wife than the one he married).

BTW, I ~LOVE~ the fact that he is willing to support your choice to be baptized, and to go as far as promising to be there for it (if you are willing to be patient with him by waiting until September to do so).

It is also encouraging to see that your husband is struggling too, because I know many unbelieving spouses who never cared enough to struggle. These (unbelieving spouses who never struggle) are also the ones who typically dismiss their believing spouse's newfound Christian faith as being "their thing", but they NEVER do more than that, never choose to consider the Christian faith for themselves (but I think things may end up being different in your husband's case, PTL

).

So, keep on doing what the Bible tells you to do (IOW, continue to respect and love your husband, and be a living example for Him of what a Christian and a Christian wife are supposed to be like, determined, at least for now, to stand for your marriage (as long as he wants to stay, that is .. 1 Corinthians 7:12-13). By doing so, by lovingly/patiently giving him the time that he needs to wrap his mind around everything that's happened (as best he can anyway), I believe that you will not only be honoring and pleasing God, you may also end up being the one the Lord uses to lead him all the way to saving faith.

Keep praying for his (and for your children's) salvation, and for God to give you opportunities to share your faith with him (and them), in both word and deed .. e.g. Romans 10:17; 1 Peter 3:1-4

Praying for you (all)!

God bless you!! (Numbers 6:24-26)

~Deuteronomy
p.s. - have you talked about all of this with your pastor yet

If not, I would recommend doing so as soon as you can, for both his counsel and help, of course, and so that he will know how to pray for you, specifically.
.

Gideon300 · Apr 25, 2023

AbidingInHim said:

If I had a dollar for every mistake I've made, I'd be a millionaire. God expects us to fail. Our failures are His opportunities to get us to admit our helplessness. Remember that the blood of Jesus pays for all the offences that you've caused your husband. We are not as good as we think we are. That's the truth. The old self does not change. God wants us to exchange the old so that we can walk in the new.

I no longer hurt, that's the beauty of forgiveness. Hurt is evidence of offences not forgiven. People used to talk a lot about healing of the memories. All that means is forgiving anyone any offence that you've taken. It's a good idea to write down every painful memory that still haunts you. That includes what you have done yourself. We need to forgive ourselves. Beating yourself up is not healthy. It distracts us from remembering who we are in Christ. Hebrews tells us to look to Jesus:
Hebrews 12:1-3
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off every encumbrance and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with endurance the race set out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

ResidentAlien · Apr 25, 2023

Normally I'd say get baptized immediately; however, it sounds like a very tricky situation. You have your children to think of; and you probably wouldn't want to do anything to undermine your husband, even if (or because) he is acting irrationally. I'd just pray and play it by ear; but get baptized as soon as you can. God understands your situation and can make a way.

Wansvic · Apr 25, 2023

I felt compelled to share the following testimony as I read about your situation. Although it does differ from your personal experience, I believe it applies:

I was approached by a person wanting suggestions about how to influence their spouse to go to church. During the conversation, God whispered, “Tell her to pray.”
“I know I can pray.” She responded in mild frustration. “But there has to be something more I can do.” Again, the word “pray” popped into my mind. “The thing that keeps rising up within me is you need to pray.” I persisted.
“Only God has the perfect answer for your situation.” I encouraged. “God is well able to make things happen without interference from us.”
I was happy to hear that her mind had shifted gears. She had received the word from God. I was certain of it. There was a new direction and determination apparent as we continued our conversation. Yes, no doubt about it, she would pray.

A couple of months later, I picked up the ringing telephone to a voice bubbling over with excitement. “You are not going to believe what happened! I listened to what God said, and prayed that God would give my husband the desire to go to church. I was getting my girls ready for Sunday service when he asked me where the keys to our van were. On the kitchen table, I hollered from the bedroom. The next words out of his mouth were I’ll be waiting in the van. I stared at the doorway in disbelief as I heard the van door open and then close. I quickly readied the girls and away we went. You would have thought our family traveled to church together every week. No one said a word about the new addition in the van that Sunday morning. But, inside I was about to burst. God had answered my prayer without my lifting a finger. I gave the situation to God and he gave me one of the most important desires of my heart. The man I married is now leading the way on our spiritual journey. How awesome is that?”

She was right. There is nothing more rewarding than serving the Lord together with your spouse and family, and knowing that you are one step closer to being together forever in eternity.
And yes, without a doubt, the God we serve is absolutely awesome!

A side note: I, unlike many others on this site, believe the word of God expresses obedience to water baptism is an essential part of the NT rebirth. And that water baptism is to be administered in the actual name of the Lord Jesus as revealed by every detailed baptism recorded in the word. (Acts 2:38-41, 8:12-18, 9:17-18, 10:43-48, 19:1-6, 22:16) Peter stated being baptized IN THE NAME OF THE LORD JESUS is for the remission of our sin. (Acts 2:38) And this is confirmed by Ananias who told Paul to be baptized and wash away his sins calling on the name of the Lord. (Acts 22:16)

In addition, Paul later clarified that the name of Jesus is to be used in water baptism when speaking with the those of the Corinthian church. (1 Cor. 1:13-15) And gave a detailed description of what occurs when a person has believed and been obedient to the command in his letter to the Romans:
“Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death? n his letter to the Romans

Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

FOR IF we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection: Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.7 For he that is dead is freed from sin. 8 Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him:” Rom 6:3-8

Knowing that God’s word does not return void. I pray that you receive an answer from God and peace that passes all understanding!

"And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive." Matt. 21:22

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth;
and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Matthew 7: 7-8

presidente · Apr 25, 2023

AbidingInHim said:

Obedience to the Lord is first, and you are to submit to your husband... as unto the Lord.

What does Christ want? He told the disciples to teach and baptize the nations. In Colossians, Paul wrote about being buried with Christ in baptism wherein we are also raised with Him through faith in the operation of God who raised Him from the dead. When Peter preached the gospel on the day of Pentecost and those listening asked what to do, he told them to repent and be baptized. In his epistle, he calls baptism the answer of a good conscience toward God.

A lot of evangelicals do not put proper weight on water baptism.

I am hesitant to tell a woman to oppose her husband, but you do need to obey the Lord in the area of baptism. I will pray to the Lord for favor.

Have you asked him that even if he thinks you are brainwashed, haven't you been a better wife?

HopeinHim98 · Apr 25, 2023

ButterflyJones said:

Maybe instead of saying to follow your heart, it would be better advice to encourage someone not to ignore your conscience. Yes, the conscience can be misguided, but it's God-given and He uses it.

Magenta · Apr 25, 2023

presidente said:

I have wondered some similar things, about whether the husband is cognizant of the message
his extremely negative views toward his wife give the children, whose ages I am unaware of.

The husband is all in thinking his wife is destroying their marriage. Is he blind to the harm he is causing?

HopeinHim98 · Apr 25, 2023

AbidingInHim said:

Hi everyone
I’m married to an unbeliever and I’ve been saved for a year now and it’s been a huge problem for my husband to understand it all and the changes he’s seen in me since being born again. He doesn’t think I need to be baptized because I’ve been baptized as an infant. He thinks adult baptism is rediculous. He doesn’t want me to be in church every Sunday but has “compromised” with every other week me going with our three children. He thinks it’s a big disruption to our family time together on Sundays. I’ve agreed to this for now to keep the peace. I have other opportunities for fellowship. Every Wednesday my children’s school has chapel which I always attend. Im not 100% happy about the compromise obviously but a pastor of my friend said I should accept that as my ultimate goal would be to win him to the Lord and not push him to be angry about the situation. Now we have a new issue in which I want to be baptized at my next opportunity at my church. Which is mid June. My husband for some reason feels “HE’S” not ready for that. His reason is he thinks it will change me to be even more “brainwashed” as he calls it. He says he didn’t marry this person and now he’s “stuck” (because of our children)
He is asking me to go slow and let him digest the situation and wait till September and he said he would even attend it but only if I wait till then. If I go do it any earlier he said (threatened) I should just not come home. He’s already trying to turn the kids against me for revenge. Saying the Bible isn’t true and Jesus is not real. If I agree to waiting till September (which I feel I’m negotiating with Satan if I do)The house will be peaceful and I can keep on reading the Bible to the kids and take them to their Christian school.
If I do what I feel I’m commanded to do as a professing believer in Christ and obedience to God and get baptized as soon as I can he is threatening to take the kids out of school and put them in public and turn the whole house upside down basically.
I really need some good advice
🙏 and of course prayers.

Dear sister, I would encourage you to PRAY. I'm sure you're doing that, but just keep praying and don't faint. Remember the parable Jesus told of the widow and the unjust judge? God bless you.

AbidingInHim · Apr 25, 2023

Deuteronomy said:

Hello AbidingInHim, wow, you do have a lot on your "spiritual" plate right now! I know that you're struggling to do the right thing as you navigate through the new situation that you've found yourself in, but after reading some of the things that you said, it seems like you are on the right track to make them (the right choices, that is

).

There are two major worldviews vying for your attention and allegiance right now, one secular and one Christian (flesh and spirit), so continue to be patient and careful not to be enticed into falling for the wisdom of this world again (as it is very easy thing to do

).

Another member mentioned your need to trust and follow God and His word (instead of your feelings), which I believe is great advice

Not that your feelings are always wrong, but you can be assured that they are when what they are telling you to do conflicts with God's word (Satan is the one who is almost always behind the deceptions and 1/2 truths that drive us away from God and toward the world again, and he most often uses our "feelings" to do so, to get us to believe his lies, instead of trusting God/His word). So, keep choosing to live your life differently than the world would have you do, by guarding (rather than by following) your heart .. e.g. Romans 12:2; 2 Corinthians 10:5; Ephesians 6:10-17; James 4:7!!

It seems to me that your husband loves you, respects you, and because he does, loves the life that he has with you and is afraid of losing it. Perhaps you should continue to honor those precious things by continuing to consider what he is going through too (as someone who is clearly struggling to make sense of a different you, a different wife than the one he married).

BTW, I ~LOVE~ the fact that he is willing to support your choice to be baptized, and to go as far as promising to be there for it (if you are willing to be patient with him by waiting until September to do so).

It is also encouraging to see that your husband is struggling too, because I know many unbelieving spouses who never cared enough to struggle. These (unbelieving spouses who never struggle) are also the ones who typically dismiss their believing spouse's newfound Christian faith as being "their thing", but they NEVER do more than that, never choose to consider the Christian faith for themselves (but I think things may end up being different in your husband's case, PTL

).

So, keep on doing what the Bible tells you to do (IOW, continue to respect and love your husband, and be a living example for Him of what a Christian and a Christian wife are supposed to be like, determined, at least for now, to stand for your marriage (as long as he wants to stay, that is .. 1 Corinthians 7:12-13). By doing so, by lovingly/patiently giving him the time that he needs to wrap his mind around everything that's happened (as best he can anyway), I believe that you will not only be honoring and pleasing God, you may also end up being the one the Lord uses to lead him all the way to saving faith.

Keep praying for his (and for your children's) salvation, and for God to give you opportunities to share your faith with him (and them), in both word and deed .. e.g. Romans 10:17; 1 Peter 3:1-4

Praying for you (all)!

God bless you!! (Numbers 6:24-26)

~Deuteronomy
p.s. - have you talked about all of this with your pastor yet

If not, I would recommend doing so as soon as you can, for both his counsel and help, of course, and so that he will know how to pray for you, specifically.
.

Your reply really made me emotional
So much wisdom and truth
Thank you. God Bless you for your effort to help and support.
I spoke to a pastor at one of the churches I attend occasionally
The other church I attend is at our kids Christian school
Because I’m only going to church twice a month as per my husbands request I haven’t gotten to know my pastor well
But I feel like I know him because I always watch the service online when I’m not physically there
When I spoke with that pastor the other day it was before my husband mentioned September
At that point he was opposed to it all together
So my advice from my pastor was I should still go through with it despite my husband rejecting it
When I speak with him again I’m going to mention the agreement to wait till sept and him be present. I think he will be happy to hear that.

AbidingInHim · Apr 25, 2023

Wansvic said:

I felt compelled to share the following testimony as I read about your situation. Although it does differ from your personal experience, I believe it applies:

I was approached by a person wanting suggestions about how to influence their spouse to go to church. During the conversation, God whispered, “Tell her to pray.”
“I know I can pray.” She responded in mild frustration. “But there has to be something more I can do.” Again, the word “pray” popped into my mind. “The thing that keeps rising up within me is you need to pray.” I persisted.
“Only God has the perfect answer for your situation.” I encouraged. “God is well able to make things happen without interference from us.”
I was happy to hear that her mind had shifted gears. She had received the word from God. I was certain of it. There was a new direction and determination apparent as we continued our conversation. Yes, no doubt about it, she would pray.

A couple of months later, I picked up the ringing telephone to a voice bubbling over with excitement. “You are not going to believe what happened! I listened to what God said, and prayed that God would give my husband the desire to go to church. I was getting my girls ready for Sunday service when he asked me where the keys to our van were. On the kitchen table, I hollered from the bedroom. The next words out of his mouth were I’ll be waiting in the van. I stared at the doorway in disbelief as I heard the van door open and then close. I quickly readied the girls and away we went. You would have thought our family traveled to church together every week. No one said a word about the new addition in the van that Sunday morning. But, inside I was about to burst. God had answered my prayer without my lifting a finger. I gave the situation to God and he gave me one of the most important desires of my heart. The man I married is now leading the way on our spiritual journey. How awesome is that?”

She was right. There is nothing more rewarding than serving the Lord together with your spouse and family, and knowing that you are one step closer to being together forever in eternity.
And yes, without a doubt, the God we serve is absolutely awesome!

A side note: I, unlike many others on this site, believe the word of God expresses obedience to water baptism is an essential part of the NT rebirth. And that water baptism is to be administered in the actual name of the Lord Jesus as revealed by every detailed baptism recorded in the word. (Acts 2:38-41, 8:12-18, 9:17-18, 10:43-48, 19:1-6, 22:16) Peter stated being baptized IN THE NAME OF THE LORD JESUS is for the remission of our sin. (Acts 2:38) And this is confirmed by Ananias who told Paul to be baptized and wash away his sins calling on the name of the Lord. (Acts 22:16)

In addition, Paul later clarified that the name of Jesus is to be used in water baptism when speaking with the those of the Corinthian church. (1 Cor. 1:13-15) And gave a detailed description of what occurs when a person has believed and been obedient to the command in his letter to the Romans:
“Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death? n his letter to the Romans

Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

FOR IF we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection: Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.7 For he that is dead is freed from sin. 8 Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him:” Rom 6:3-8

Knowing that God’s word does not return void. I pray that you receive an answer from God and peace that passes all understanding!

"And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive." Matt. 21:22

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth;
and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Matthew 7: 7-8

That’s a beautiful testimonial story
Your words are so encouraging and the scriptures you mentioned are truth and edifying
Thank you.

Husband doesn’t want me to be baptized

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