You know what is strange? when I first accepted christ i only wanted to be happy and have a reason to live. The morning i woke up with the holy spirit in me I jumped and danced all over the room. from there I only sought to be very obedient and to trust the lord above all else. to serve him with all i had in me. But one day i noticed a change, i actually loved him. when did this happen? when did I fall in love with the lord? whats going on!? later in my faith as i kept walking the devil made me think many time: maybe i am only in love with the spiritual high, or just the feeling of love. but now in my fourth season of faith i came to the realization i didn't fall in love with the spiritual high, or just the feeling of love itself. Somewhere along the line i fell in love with him- who he is. Now, I am so in love with him that my soul groans for him, my heart cries out to him wanting so much to be with him at last. If there is such an expression of being drunk with love this is what i am with him. He is just so wonderful, i love everything about him. I hear him talk to me sometimes, yesterday( I hope it's okay with him I share this) he told me my heart delights him. but my response was no lord, it is you who i delight in. But it's not like any of this is me. I mean my heart is only the way it is because of him, i only seek him like i do because of him. I honestly feel as if this was all set up before my birth, so the lord knew exactly when i would be saved and who he would mold me to be. so ( don't get me wrong i love the encouragement) why is god telling me my heart delights him when really it had nothing to do with me?