i feel like such a hypocrite.

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Acr96

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Nov 11, 2015
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I didn't go to church tonight because I knew the pastor was going to ask me to sing a song I have just learned. I told him on Wednesday that Lord willing I would try to sing it tonight. Well after dinner I started to not feel so well, so I texted him and told him I wasn't coming tonight I didnt feel good. I feel like I lied. While I didn't feel great it wasn't because I was sick. I'm pretty sure it was just nerves and the fact that I had just got done eating. I feel horrible now because I lied about not coming. I know God will forgive me, but do I need to tell him why I was so scared to come? I don't want to sound prideful, but this is twice now I havent done something because I was scared. I apologized the first time.
 
Just my thoughts, but I would share with the pastor just what happened. Tell him about your nerves, and maybe just suggest that you will let him know when you are ready to sing at a meeting. And it will probably be on the spur of the moment if at all...not too much planning ahead. You don't seem to do well with that.

I totally understand your nerves to "perform" in public. I don't like to be asked to play a song on the piano in church, although I had 15 years of lessons and even teach it. Just prefer to play for myself or before one or two students. Not really in a church setting. And I never felt that the Lord gave me the leading to play in church - it has always been the idea of others. I always felt that if it was my calling, I would have the same "carried" feeling or anointing that I do for other things ( teaching and speaking) and with no nerves.

If you really feel your calling is to perform for others, start with small groups at first. Two or three people you invite to hear you. And go from there.

God bless your voice.
 
Rebuke the enemy. If you didnt feel fell, you didnt feel well. dont let the enemy make you feel guilty or ashamed or anything. next time just go for it in the name of the Lord because its written. ...
[h=1]James 4:7King James Version (KJV)[/h]7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
GOd bless you sis
 
I didn't go to church tonight because I knew the pastor was going to ask me to sing a song I have just learned. I told him on Wednesday that Lord willing I would try to sing it tonight. Well after dinner I started to not feel so well, so I texted him and told him I wasn't coming tonight I didnt feel good. I feel like I lied. While I didn't feel great it wasn't because I was sick. I'm pretty sure it was just nerves and the fact that I had just got done eating. I feel horrible now because I lied about not coming. I know God will forgive me, but do I need to tell him why I was so scared to come? I don't want to sound prideful, but this is twice now I havent done something because I was scared. I apologized the first time.
Apologizing merely assuages guilt. It means nothing except you feel better about yourself.

Repent means to turn from. So, it means not only do you feel bad about what you did, but you also will work at not doing it again. (And "work at" mostly means asking God to get you not to do that, since we all know how unsucessful we were at trying to do better on our own.)

This leaves you back to where you are. Are you merely going to assuage your guilt or deal with it?

And I know it's no "merely." I have never met a single person who even likes to get up in front of a group, once more put themselves out to sing to a group. It really is terrifying. (Well, my singing brings whole new meaning to terrifying, but I mean getting up in front of people.) God's not just hanging around waiting for us to ask for his help to stop sinning. He's also wanting to help us get over our fears by trusting him. The only way that happens is with his help and a proven record of past events that says, "God really is for me all the time."

So ask God what you should do then trust him to help you get the courage to do it. It sure beats forever making light of how we sinned.

(And that's experience talking. God has always gotten me where he wants me to go, just like he did for Jonah. But finally I want to get there in a ship instead of inside a fish belly.)
 
I didn't go to church tonight because I knew the pastor was going to ask me to sing a song I have just learned. I told him on Wednesday that Lord willing I would try to sing it tonight. Well after dinner I started to not feel so well, so I texted him and told him I wasn't coming tonight I didnt feel good. I feel like I lied. While I didn't feel great it wasn't because I was sick. I'm pretty sure it was just nerves and the fact that I had just got done eating. I feel horrible now because I lied about not coming. I know God will forgive me, but do I need to tell him why I was so scared to come? I don't want to sound prideful, but this is twice now I havent done something because I was scared. I apologized the first time.

I have to wonder why you would be afraid to sing a song. I love singing. Anyway, if it scares you, you might in the future refrain from agreeing to sing.

When I was in fourth grade, the music teacher at school asked me to play the piano at our annual school program. I was frightened and said no. A year later I was begging her to let me play the piano at the program. Go figure.
 
Dear Acr96, I don't think your problem is Hypocrisy, I don't even think that you should beat yourself up about this either. We are human and we are imperfect. We are easily scared specially when we are challenged to do something new. When that happens, it's better telling the parties involved about how you feel. Perhaps you could've told the pastor to allow you to practice this new song or let you sing another one you are more familiar with.

I'm a musician and I know exactly how you feel. When I was 15 years of age, while at a church service, someone suggested that I would play the piano, because none of the musicians made it on time. It felt really strange, and very overwhelming to be called out by a member of the audience, specially in a big church. I had to do it, no practice, no option. I felt cheated, but then I started practicing more and more and soon I became the youngest pianist in that church. I believe that your conviction is that "you should always give God your best", that is also what I believe, so don't feel bad that you were not feeling 100% sure of singing, it happens to the best singers.

Pray that God would give you time and desire to be always prepared for anything.
God Bless you
 
Hi,
Singing playing percussion bugle and I was trained for the Navy for our drum core ,

Singing onstage and with others I had no issues then singing with another friend both to gether and on our own. in front of 80 people in acapela and drumming in front of over 400 people then at schools 350 to 400 people and your right next to those watching you ,

Unnerving or what ever term you use yes can be , in my case I have done my prep work and know what I'm doing and if I make a slip up or mistake so be it and carry on as though nothing is out of order , , so what is importaint is you get up there in front of others you do a professional job of it and do it .

Because and maybe this is where we are different is I have 50 years experance and trust me ,I still get embarrissed being in front of people , and large groups of people . so I know what its like .

...noeleena...
 
I didn't go to church tonight because I knew the pastor was going to ask me to sing a song I have just learned. I told him on Wednesday that Lord willing I would try to sing it tonight. Well after dinner I started to not feel so well, so I texted him and told him I wasn't coming tonight I didnt feel good. I feel like I lied. While I didn't feel great it wasn't because I was sick. I'm pretty sure it was just nerves and the fact that I had just got done eating. I feel horrible now because I lied about not coming. I know God will forgive me, but do I need to tell him why I was so scared to come? I don't want to sound prideful, but this is twice now I havent done something because I was scared. I apologized the first time.

You didn't lie. You changed your mind and the situation changed. People change their minds all of the time and situations prevent people from doing what they want to do.
 
I deal with similar. I have let avoidance of my feelings dictate my behaviour. What God is showing me is that if I have willingness to feel the uncomfortable feelings then I wont do avoidant behaviours. I am finding in my willingness to feel uncomfortable feelings I learn that I can cope with the feelings and the lie that "I cant cope" that I was listening to falls away. So I am finding I am willing to feel humiliation, and rejection and fear instead of running away from them in myself and what I am finding is that His joy is there holding me up as I feel them.