M
I have this big challenge I'm trying to cope with. It's kinda strange. See I like riding horses. I was really good at it too. I had built up a bit of a reputation for being one of the best local riders. And I did that for a long time. But funny thing is I never fell off all that bad. Not at all. Then I got bucked off, it was totally out of left field. I think the horse got startled by something. And I broke my leg really bad. And I was in sever pain for weeks. It was awful.
So what happened was the leg was to the point where it was almost better. Like I could walk on it again, but just barely. The Dr said that it wouldn't hurt to get back on the saddle, and just have someone walk with me on the horse. Or maybe a very lite trail ride. And I was super excited to do this, I couldn't wait.
The day came I got some friends to help me up on the horse. And this horse was ultra tame, I had nothing to fear at all. But I could only sit on it for a few moments and then I got really scared and I said to my friends "help me down". And they did. I've done this perhaps like 3-5 times now. I get up on the horse, I sit on it, but then I get scared. Like I'm grabbing the raigns really tight. I'm all nervous. I'm worried that at any moment the horse is gonna get spooked and buck me off really bad. And with me leg not 100%, I just am paranoid. It's stupid really, I don't get it.
The funny thing is I think it's a phychological thing. I think I got hurt so bad that my gutt instinct starts telling me "GET OFF THE HORSE!!!!". And I panic. I've never ever had this happen. So I'm trying to read my gutt instinct. And I'm having a lot of trouble, because part of me wonders if it's not my gutt, but maybe God telling me not to ride again. And so it's really really confusing. I don't know if it's just me, and if it's something I need to try and overcome. Or if it's God, trying to tell me, "try something else". Or what is it???
So someone told me it's just a sports phychology thing. You got bucked off, hurt real bad, and now part of you wants to get on again, but then it's like your survival mechanisms kick in and they go crazy and are like "no no what are you doing don't you dare do this!!!"
It's just so annoying. I don't know what to do. I've prayed about it. And I haven't gotten any clear answers. I almost get a sense like the answer is "go ahead ride again, but if you get on you take the risks." I could be wrong, I don't know. I'm more confused than anything.
People keep telling me this is completely normal and you have to just get back on and work your way threw the fear. But it's so tricky. Some people say just find a less risky hobby. But I'm not good at any other thing. I'm really good at this. (or at least I was!). I know I could be good again if I could get over this fear.
I can't believe this has even happened as I don't typically get scared of anything very easy. I think it's just some deep part of my mind or body that gets nervous when I'm on the horse now, because it's scared of the risk of sever pain again.
Like what do I do? take up some boring hobby and leave my passion? Leave what I'm good at? Or try and fight through this fear? It's so annoying and frustrating.
So for now I'll just go look at the horses, watch others ride, and sometimes work with the horses (but I"m on the ground). It's kinda sad. i feel like I"m wasting my time as this has gone on now for like a full year. I'm fine to ride again (as long as I don't get bucked off really bad, but it will always be that way) I just find it hard to get back on.
What do I do????
So what happened was the leg was to the point where it was almost better. Like I could walk on it again, but just barely. The Dr said that it wouldn't hurt to get back on the saddle, and just have someone walk with me on the horse. Or maybe a very lite trail ride. And I was super excited to do this, I couldn't wait.
The day came I got some friends to help me up on the horse. And this horse was ultra tame, I had nothing to fear at all. But I could only sit on it for a few moments and then I got really scared and I said to my friends "help me down". And they did. I've done this perhaps like 3-5 times now. I get up on the horse, I sit on it, but then I get scared. Like I'm grabbing the raigns really tight. I'm all nervous. I'm worried that at any moment the horse is gonna get spooked and buck me off really bad. And with me leg not 100%, I just am paranoid. It's stupid really, I don't get it.
The funny thing is I think it's a phychological thing. I think I got hurt so bad that my gutt instinct starts telling me "GET OFF THE HORSE!!!!". And I panic. I've never ever had this happen. So I'm trying to read my gutt instinct. And I'm having a lot of trouble, because part of me wonders if it's not my gutt, but maybe God telling me not to ride again. And so it's really really confusing. I don't know if it's just me, and if it's something I need to try and overcome. Or if it's God, trying to tell me, "try something else". Or what is it???
So someone told me it's just a sports phychology thing. You got bucked off, hurt real bad, and now part of you wants to get on again, but then it's like your survival mechanisms kick in and they go crazy and are like "no no what are you doing don't you dare do this!!!"
It's just so annoying. I don't know what to do. I've prayed about it. And I haven't gotten any clear answers. I almost get a sense like the answer is "go ahead ride again, but if you get on you take the risks." I could be wrong, I don't know. I'm more confused than anything.
People keep telling me this is completely normal and you have to just get back on and work your way threw the fear. But it's so tricky. Some people say just find a less risky hobby. But I'm not good at any other thing. I'm really good at this. (or at least I was!). I know I could be good again if I could get over this fear.
I can't believe this has even happened as I don't typically get scared of anything very easy. I think it's just some deep part of my mind or body that gets nervous when I'm on the horse now, because it's scared of the risk of sever pain again.
Like what do I do? take up some boring hobby and leave my passion? Leave what I'm good at? Or try and fight through this fear? It's so annoying and frustrating.
So for now I'll just go look at the horses, watch others ride, and sometimes work with the horses (but I"m on the ground). It's kinda sad. i feel like I"m wasting my time as this has gone on now for like a full year. I'm fine to ride again (as long as I don't get bucked off really bad, but it will always be that way) I just find it hard to get back on.
What do I do????