I have alot of friends taht love worldly thing, i need more of Gods People to Show Me

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MR95

MR95

Junior Member
Oct 15, 2015
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I am 20 years old. My story is a long one, ever since i was little the devil has deceived and divided my family. With drugs, music, alchohal, TV, curruption of corse. My mom and dad split up when i was a baby. Because my mother is a bi polar, schitzophranic, anxeity suffer. My grandma convinced my mother she was not ill. So the voices in my mothers head was saying thing my dad would never do . So with the help of my moms mental issues that she developed after hard drugs "tweeking" they call it and my grandmother saying she was completly healthy when she was not, my grandma convinced mom to take me and my sister sarah away from my dad while he was at work. Grandma Ruth , also just to let you guys no messed up with her own kids and technically wanted my sister sarah to start over with a new kid she wanted to be mom . Dad was devestaded, i was staying at my grandmother Ruths. She made me lay down i could never go out i didnt know where my mom was , and my dad i was just stuck there. Mom eventually got me when she was "ready to have me".

When i moved with mom to the house.... she had a homeless man moved in and they began dating. They would always scream and yell and break things. Mom would work graveyard shifts... she wouldn't be home all night. I would get woken up by this man and taken into my sister sarahs room. My sister Sarah is a very angry, very lost soul to this day i cant get her to message me. anyways she was never home always off with her friends every night.

That where that man would molest me , i had experinced a feeling i didnt understand , but knew it felt good. Even though it was confusing and VERY WRONG GIVEN I WAS FIVE AND HE WAS MOLESTING ME. He always had porn on which i watched not knowing what i was watching. I was afraid to tell my mother, i wasnt aloud on the phone with my father that long....but i know after we moved out of that house.... i was a very bad kid.

Dads prayers where eventually answered , and he got us back . I kept that secret for 8 years before telling anybody about the molesting. I was angry because my family was seperated, i was lustful because it felt good and my inosence was robbed from me. I was currupted into drinking alchohal, shrooms, every man i dated i thought loved me but only used me for my body . I was disrespectful and did what i wanted . I would cuss and party, sex and drink smoke and just didnt respect myself enough to dress properly.

it took me untill i was 17 after i broke up with my boyfriend to finally realise all my dad wanted was his daughter back, and he got the messed up melissa back not the one dad new as a kid. And so i started respecting my dad, i love him , he is my world. He has always been a man of God. But anytime he'd talk about him i'd get angray. He doesn't care about me! He doesnt want me! I'm bound for hell....

It took me untill just a little while ago.... i am 20 years of age now. I was living up in redding where i was partying because i was still skeptical of God. Which is why i think he sent me a night terror. Its was pretty livid, pretty scary, and definetly wasnt the end of human ruling the way the bible spoke about it....it TERRIFIED ME! I was scared every minute of everyday that i was going to die, i was so scared i was convinced i was going to go to hell if i died or that we just die and then theres nothing.... so one night i walked out side and i scream a demanding prayer in my head. " I DONT KNOW IF YOUR REAL, WHY DO I HAVE TO LIVE THIS WAY! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!( i was hitting the ground with my fist...tears rolling down my eyes) ALL I AM IS NICE! I DON'T KNOW IF YOUR REAL!!! I WAS BORN IN A WORLD THAT IS DELETING YOU! I DON'T WANT TO BE SCARED ANYMORE! YOU NEED TO LET ME KNOW NOW!PLEASE! PLEASE GOD IF YOUR REAL!!!." thats not word for word but that how that prayer went.

That following day ... Sunday 20th , 2015. I walked into a Christian Church. A man from Europe said the Holy Spirit said that he had to go and travel thousands of miles to this little church because he has a message for these people here.... i was called up to the alter by the holy spirit.... and so many words he had for me..... the message was so long... i felt unbelievably loved so loved all i wanted to do was cry...all i wanted to say was i love you. but the words that stuck into my head out of all those words he spoke to me...... he said he knows my heart, and he knows my intentions, to keep doing what i'm doing.

I walked out of that church a changed person , the way i think is different everything i used to think i loved to do i want no part of...
Short short are provacative. i got rid of all my shorts. no clevage....
Barley where make up ...
Dont want to drink but tempted to idk why...
I am celebate untill married now.
I want to learn more about God and Jesus...
I want to do more for him .

You guys for him to change my mind, make me believe, and answer the most hateful prayer i have ever prayed......
Prooved to me he is real , i also learned so is the devil and angels, fallen angels, demons, everlasting life in either heaven or hell....... i need more Christian's to talk to i need more guidence because these worldly thing i have atached to are so very hard to escape. nice to meet you
 
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Welcome sister. God is not through, he will finish the work he has started in you. Do you still go to church? That is where these
yokes are taken off of us, plus prayer and fellowship with the Lord. Just keep God first and everything else works out. You probably know this already.

Be blessed and join in.The bible study room is pretty awesome for fellowship.
 
Hello MR95;

Thank you for your testimony. Congratulations! You have made the best decision of your life- a decision that you will not regret.You may have known of God all your life but you are at the beginning of a new relationship- a relationship with God that is possible because of Jesus Christ. As with any relationship, your relationship with God will grow stronger and deeper thru communication and experiences. As you learn more about God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, you will grow to love God and trust Him more and more. You will also come to a better understanding of how Jesus is relevant to the details of your life. Your relationship will grow also as you see God's Faithfulness in situations in your life, particularly situations that you have turned over to Him in prayer.

Be careful that you are not deceived into thinking that going to heaven instead of hell is the only benefit of being a Christian. If you believe this lie, you will tend to think that you have already received all that there is to receive as a Christian, and view the rest of your life as an obligation to pay God back for the gift of Heaven. This erroneous view leads to the attitude that Christianity is drudgery, sacrificing all the "fun" things in the world for a life of rigidity and boredom. The Christian life is not receiving the gift of heaven and then trying hard from that point forward to live according to the standards of the Bible.

This is the truth: God wanted you to receive Christ, not only to be forgiven of sin so that you can go to heaven instead of hell after your earthly death, but to give you life--contentment, joy, fulfillment, and fruitfulness in Christ. God wants you to know that, because of your faith, Christ actually lives in you, and has given you a brand new life- His life. God wants you to see the relevance of Christ to all issues in your life. Through Christ, the Father has given you an inexhaustible source of joy, contentment, power, and equipped you to be a great blessing to other people.

God wants you to get in His raft and let Him take you down a roaring river. You will not be able to control the raft; you must trust Him to do so. But If you do, He will not allow you to sink, but the ride will be wild, unpredictable, and sometimes rough. Every person in your path will be affected by the roaring river of God's love and power. Hardly boring and dreadful huh?!!

So what's the next step? Just as you have trusted Christ by faith,for forgiveness of sins, trust Him day by day with all issues of your life. The Apostle Paul said, "Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, Having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude." Col. 2:6-7.

Paul is saying, "Just as you initially received Christ Jesus by faith, live everyday by faith." If you choose day by day, moment by moment, to trust Jesus with the details of life, letting Him have His way with you, then your life will be a great adventure.

It is important for me to say Don't feel burdened by your new Christianity. God does not intend for the christian life to be a burdensome set of rules to follow. Living as a Christian is not a matter of trying to do what the Bible says. What's more, trying in our human strength to be good people does not work. Nobody can live according to the Bible except Jesus Christ Himself. Therefore God does not want you to try your hardest to be good; He wants you to let Jesus Christ be good thru you.

God does not want you to strain and grit your teeth trying to get bad thoughts out of your mind; He wants you to ask Christ to control your mind and fill your mind with His Word, the Bible. God does not want you to try real hard to change; He wants you to open yourself up to Christ, asking Christ to transform you and live thru you.

The Christian life is not about our trying to be good for God; it's about Christ being good thru us! And miraculously so in testimony of God's Glory. Welcome my sister to the Kingdom of Heaven!
 
I'm so sorry that you had to go through all those things. Always remember that they weren't your fault. You were molested because a man chose to do that to you.
But just like it isn't your fault, it's not God's either. We have to keep that in mind, sister. I used to get upset with God too for things like losing a job or being ridiculed in school when I was younger. I blamed Him and it took me a while to realize that it wasn't His fault.
Everyone has free will and makes decisions. Unfortunately there are a lot of evil people out there and it just so happened that one of them took advantage of you when you were only a child.
I can imagine it must hurt you and how much of a burden it must me. Please know that you don't have to carry that anymore. Give it to Jesus and He will take it away.

There was a time where I wanted to take my life and what helped me was to get closer to God. The Lord is always chasing us and we are the ones that have to let Him into our hearts. Remember He could have made us robotic to where we would automatically love Him. But that's not really authentic love, is it? He wanted real love from His people, not something artificial.

A few tips on gaining a better relationship with Him...
- pray
- read the Bible everyday or as often as you can
- talk to Him like you would a friend
- go to church
- worship at home, not just at church
- listen to Pastors online (Charles Stanley is one of my favorites!)
- cry out to Him
On this last one, sometimes it helps to just close yourself in your room and have a deep conversation with Jesus. I've done this a few times and it always makes me feel a lot better. Cry out to Him and tell him how you feel and how you want to change.
Another thing that helps me feel closer to God is by kneeling while praying. A lot of the time we pray while we're sitting but when you're kneeling you sometimes feel more aware and conscious. It's also a sign of respect towards God. I do my nightly prayers while kneeling. I find that it helps me stay humble and reminds me that I am nothing without Him. I find it beneficial, personally, creating an intimate environment between Lord and servant of His.

Again, I'm sorry for what you have gone through. Please know that Jesus loves you and He hurt too when those awful things happened. I will be praying for you and if you need friends, talk to us. We will be your online buddies. :)
You could probably make good Christian friends at a church that you like. Maybe joining a Bible study or Women's Ministry group could help you too.
But if you really want to be done with the ways of the world, you're going to have to change your environment. Like if you don't want to be drinking, don't go to clubs, bars or parties where there would be alcohol.

I really hope that you can find help from us CCers and that you enjoy the website. It's a blessing to have you here, sister! God bless. :)

P.S. if you need someone to talk to or listen to you, you can send me a PM. :)
 
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i am starting bible studdies with a pastor next door im gunna go to church with him . im hoping to be babtized and i definetly want to commit to christ . it's nice to meet you , and thank you i will join the bible studie
 
Hello and welcome my little sister in Christ. Delighted to have you here and a part of the family of God. God Bless.
 
Hey there! Welcome to cc!:) wow youre story is amazing...its so awesome you want to change and live your life for him! :) Hopefully I ll see you in one of the room one of these days cause Im always up for a chat!! :)
God bless sis! xox
 
Wow. Just wow. Yours is a very powerful testimony. Must have been so difficult, but thank you for sharing it. I'm so sorry to hear you had to go through all of that, but I'm very glad that you now know Christ and are part of the Family. It's sounds like you really want to pursue this God of ours who pursued you in love and is Love. I'll be praying for you, mate. Praise God and well done for surrendering to Him. The journey isn't easy but it does bring Life. Bless you. :)
 
Melissa! Thank God for your boldness! I praise God for revealing Himself to you in a powerful way. God works in so many many awesome and wonderful ways beyond we can even think of. Your life speaks to so many of us. It speaks to me too. It reminded me of how innocence was robbed off of me, even when I was already a Christian. But know this, and you're not alone in this battle, God restores our innocence and gives us pure hearts. He who is forgiven much, loves much. I'm glad you found your way here in CC. Share with us, what it's like to fall in love with Jesus, like it's the first time all over again (we may, from time to time, forget and need some reminders!). Looking forward to fellowshipping with you!! God bless you richly!
 
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