I am 20 years old. My story is a long one, ever since i was little the devil has deceived and divided my family. With drugs, music, alchohal, TV, curruption of corse. My mom and dad split up when i was a baby. Because my mother is a bi polar, schitzophranic, anxeity suffer. My grandma convinced my mother she was not ill. So the voices in my mothers head was saying thing my dad would never do . So with the help of my moms mental issues that she developed after hard drugs "tweeking" they call it and my grandmother saying she was completly healthy when she was not, my grandma convinced mom to take me and my sister sarah away from my dad while he was at work. Grandma Ruth , also just to let you guys no messed up with her own kids and technically wanted my sister sarah to start over with a new kid she wanted to be mom . Dad was devestaded, i was staying at my grandmother Ruths. She made me lay down i could never go out i didnt know where my mom was , and my dad i was just stuck there. Mom eventually got me when she was "ready to have me".
When i moved with mom to the house.... she had a homeless man moved in and they began dating. They would always scream and yell and break things. Mom would work graveyard shifts... she wouldn't be home all night. I would get woken up by this man and taken into my sister sarahs room. My sister Sarah is a very angry, very lost soul to this day i cant get her to message me. anyways she was never home always off with her friends every night.
That where that man would molest me , i had experinced a feeling i didnt understand , but knew it felt good. Even though it was confusing and VERY WRONG GIVEN I WAS FIVE AND HE WAS MOLESTING ME. He always had porn on which i watched not knowing what i was watching. I was afraid to tell my mother, i wasnt aloud on the phone with my father that long....but i know after we moved out of that house.... i was a very bad kid.
Dads prayers where eventually answered , and he got us back . I kept that secret for 8 years before telling anybody about the molesting. I was angry because my family was seperated, i was lustful because it felt good and my inosence was robbed from me. I was currupted into drinking alchohal, shrooms, every man i dated i thought loved me but only used me for my body . I was disrespectful and did what i wanted . I would cuss and party, sex and drink smoke and just didnt respect myself enough to dress properly.
it took me untill i was 17 after i broke up with my boyfriend to finally realise all my dad wanted was his daughter back, and he got the messed up melissa back not the one dad new as a kid. And so i started respecting my dad, i love him , he is my world. He has always been a man of God. But anytime he'd talk about him i'd get angray. He doesn't care about me! He doesnt want me! I'm bound for hell....
It took me untill just a little while ago.... i am 20 years of age now. I was living up in redding where i was partying because i was still skeptical of God. Which is why i think he sent me a night terror. Its was pretty livid, pretty scary, and definetly wasnt the end of human ruling the way the bible spoke about it....it TERRIFIED ME! I was scared every minute of everyday that i was going to die, i was so scared i was convinced i was going to go to hell if i died or that we just die and then theres nothing.... so one night i walked out side and i scream a demanding prayer in my head. " I DONT KNOW IF YOUR REAL, WHY DO I HAVE TO LIVE THIS WAY! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!( i was hitting the ground with my fist...tears rolling down my eyes) ALL I AM IS NICE! I DON'T KNOW IF YOUR REAL!!! I WAS BORN IN A WORLD THAT IS DELETING YOU! I DON'T WANT TO BE SCARED ANYMORE! YOU NEED TO LET ME KNOW NOW!PLEASE! PLEASE GOD IF YOUR REAL!!!." thats not word for word but that how that prayer went.
That following day ... Sunday 20th , 2015. I walked into a Christian Church. A man from Europe said the Holy Spirit said that he had to go and travel thousands of miles to this little church because he has a message for these people here.... i was called up to the alter by the holy spirit.... and so many words he had for me..... the message was so long... i felt unbelievably loved so loved all i wanted to do was cry...all i wanted to say was i love you. but the words that stuck into my head out of all those words he spoke to me...... he said he knows my heart, and he knows my intentions, to keep doing what i'm doing.
I walked out of that church a changed person , the way i think is different everything i used to think i loved to do i want no part of...
Short short are provacative. i got rid of all my shorts. no clevage....
Barley where make up ...
Dont want to drink but tempted to idk why...
I am celebate untill married now.
I want to learn more about God and Jesus...
I want to do more for him .
You guys for him to change my mind, make me believe, and answer the most hateful prayer i have ever prayed......
Prooved to me he is real , i also learned so is the devil and angels, fallen angels, demons, everlasting life in either heaven or hell....... i need more Christian's to talk to i need more guidence because these worldly thing i have atached to are so very hard to escape. nice to meet you
When i moved with mom to the house.... she had a homeless man moved in and they began dating. They would always scream and yell and break things. Mom would work graveyard shifts... she wouldn't be home all night. I would get woken up by this man and taken into my sister sarahs room. My sister Sarah is a very angry, very lost soul to this day i cant get her to message me. anyways she was never home always off with her friends every night.
That where that man would molest me , i had experinced a feeling i didnt understand , but knew it felt good. Even though it was confusing and VERY WRONG GIVEN I WAS FIVE AND HE WAS MOLESTING ME. He always had porn on which i watched not knowing what i was watching. I was afraid to tell my mother, i wasnt aloud on the phone with my father that long....but i know after we moved out of that house.... i was a very bad kid.
Dads prayers where eventually answered , and he got us back . I kept that secret for 8 years before telling anybody about the molesting. I was angry because my family was seperated, i was lustful because it felt good and my inosence was robbed from me. I was currupted into drinking alchohal, shrooms, every man i dated i thought loved me but only used me for my body . I was disrespectful and did what i wanted . I would cuss and party, sex and drink smoke and just didnt respect myself enough to dress properly.
it took me untill i was 17 after i broke up with my boyfriend to finally realise all my dad wanted was his daughter back, and he got the messed up melissa back not the one dad new as a kid. And so i started respecting my dad, i love him , he is my world. He has always been a man of God. But anytime he'd talk about him i'd get angray. He doesn't care about me! He doesnt want me! I'm bound for hell....
It took me untill just a little while ago.... i am 20 years of age now. I was living up in redding where i was partying because i was still skeptical of God. Which is why i think he sent me a night terror. Its was pretty livid, pretty scary, and definetly wasnt the end of human ruling the way the bible spoke about it....it TERRIFIED ME! I was scared every minute of everyday that i was going to die, i was so scared i was convinced i was going to go to hell if i died or that we just die and then theres nothing.... so one night i walked out side and i scream a demanding prayer in my head. " I DONT KNOW IF YOUR REAL, WHY DO I HAVE TO LIVE THIS WAY! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!( i was hitting the ground with my fist...tears rolling down my eyes) ALL I AM IS NICE! I DON'T KNOW IF YOUR REAL!!! I WAS BORN IN A WORLD THAT IS DELETING YOU! I DON'T WANT TO BE SCARED ANYMORE! YOU NEED TO LET ME KNOW NOW!PLEASE! PLEASE GOD IF YOUR REAL!!!." thats not word for word but that how that prayer went.
That following day ... Sunday 20th , 2015. I walked into a Christian Church. A man from Europe said the Holy Spirit said that he had to go and travel thousands of miles to this little church because he has a message for these people here.... i was called up to the alter by the holy spirit.... and so many words he had for me..... the message was so long... i felt unbelievably loved so loved all i wanted to do was cry...all i wanted to say was i love you. but the words that stuck into my head out of all those words he spoke to me...... he said he knows my heart, and he knows my intentions, to keep doing what i'm doing.
I walked out of that church a changed person , the way i think is different everything i used to think i loved to do i want no part of...
Short short are provacative. i got rid of all my shorts. no clevage....
Barley where make up ...
Dont want to drink but tempted to idk why...
I am celebate untill married now.
I want to learn more about God and Jesus...
I want to do more for him .
You guys for him to change my mind, make me believe, and answer the most hateful prayer i have ever prayed......
Prooved to me he is real , i also learned so is the devil and angels, fallen angels, demons, everlasting life in either heaven or hell....... i need more Christian's to talk to i need more guidence because these worldly thing i have atached to are so very hard to escape. nice to meet you