L
Lena79
Guest
I was married for 9 years. We had two children, a girl and a boy. My son was diagnosed with autism Sr two years old. My husband had always wavered between Christianity and addictive behaviors. He worked out of town for most of the marriage so the behaviors weren't overly concerning at first. I kept busy at home with the children. As years went by, I slowly realized his addictions were behind everything he did. Using a false profession of faith to gather sympathy and cover up his fault. I was drawn deeper in to seclusion. He was violent and intimidating. And I became his enabler. It's like being married to two completely different men. The loyal church husband, and the monster that wakes you with fists in the middle of the night. He slipped deeper into drugs and drinking and lost his job. So i started working. We were all terrified of him. I would hide in the closet and pray sometimes when it became unbearable. One night after visiting family, he was drunk and angry on the way home. I was driving and he went back and forth between telling me he was sorry and punching the dashboard. When we got home, the kids went to hide in their rooms and I was left with him running in to grab his gun from the rack and the clip from the fire box. He was screaming that he was going to shoot himself and dry fired the rifle without pulling back the bolt first. I was doing my best trying to calm him down but he was drunk and I was frantic. My daughter came in screaming "Daddy No!!!“ I tried to grab the gun while he was detracted but I couldn't. He pulled the bolt back and I saw the bullet slide up. His eyes went black and I saw the bark of the gun swing toward the door where my daughter was standing. I wouldn't let go of the gun. I pulled the aim away from the door. That's when he pulled it back up towards himself his hand moved from the tight grip to move his finger to the trigger. I pulled it back away enough so he could not shot himself in front of our daughter who was still screaming. That's when he dropped the barrel down and pulled the trigger. The bullet hit at point blank range. I felt no pain at first just pressure and shock. I laid down on the bed, my daughter still screaming. He was apologising and trying to convince me he didn't mean it. I quickly slipped away. What happened next is mostly between God and I. I've only told my family and closest friends. I woke to the most awful pain and alone with my 10yr old daughter telling the 911 operator that I was awake and the cpr worked. The ambulance soon arrived.
The magistrate set my husband in the ward with an insanity verdict.
After the ER Stented my collapsed lung.
I laid in ICU for three days. Five broken ribs and twenty three pieces of shrapnel in my core.
My lung healed quickly, all the shrapnel remains. My Mom came and stayed with me at home and our preacher visited often. I still believed at the time it was an accident. My husband finally agreed to counseling and made some big changes for the better at first. It wasn't long before he started drinking and doing drugs again. His gilt spilled out one late November night and he told me he pulled the trigger on purpose and he'd just ment to scare me. I was paralyzed with fear every moment. I came home from a late shift the day before Christmas Eve, he beat me until 3am. When I woke up the next morning he didn't remember, but I did. I had tried everything I could to help the kids, him and the marriage. I couldn't take any more. He dropped him off at his mother's for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I took the kids to my mother's. He moved out the day after Christmas.
God saved me to keep my children. To keep them safe, to know their loved and cherished, and to raise them to honor God.
The magistrate set my husband in the ward with an insanity verdict.
After the ER Stented my collapsed lung.
I laid in ICU for three days. Five broken ribs and twenty three pieces of shrapnel in my core.
My lung healed quickly, all the shrapnel remains. My Mom came and stayed with me at home and our preacher visited often. I still believed at the time it was an accident. My husband finally agreed to counseling and made some big changes for the better at first. It wasn't long before he started drinking and doing drugs again. His gilt spilled out one late November night and he told me he pulled the trigger on purpose and he'd just ment to scare me. I was paralyzed with fear every moment. I came home from a late shift the day before Christmas Eve, he beat me until 3am. When I woke up the next morning he didn't remember, but I did. I had tried everything I could to help the kids, him and the marriage. I couldn't take any more. He dropped him off at his mother's for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I took the kids to my mother's. He moved out the day after Christmas.
God saved me to keep my children. To keep them safe, to know their loved and cherished, and to raise them to honor God.
