Z
zaoman32
Guest
So, a lot of you know of the crappy stuff I went through with my ex-wife and our divorce and everything. I was raised Pentecostal and wholeheartedly believe in prophecy. Why? Because I've seen genuine prophecy be fulfilled in people, including my own sister. Ever since I can remember I've had people speaking prophecies over me that God had big plans for me. And here I am, just a couple years away from thirty, divorced, living with my parents, and working in a factory. I can't help but feel depressed, and completely disappointed in myself. My parents have a long standing marriage with each other and I've always looked up to that. They always stuck together even when they didn't want to.
At this point in my life, I had expected prophecies over me to be fulfilled, to be happily married and a good father, and to have a career to follow in. And I have none of those. Quite the opposite. A failed marriage, three kids who I can barely keep a handle on with just 2 evenings a week and 2 weekends a month, a job that is just....bleh, and no one to really just get together with and hang out. Not to mention, no sign of God doing any huge things. Not good ones at least.
It's such a pain. When my ex and I started splitting there were things that couldn't be explained other than by the divine intervention of God, and now, no matter how many times I ask for help and guidance, some kind of companionship or just some good change to hang on to, I just get nothing but silence. I read my bible everyday, and I try to pray, but it's just getting harder and harder and harder with every passing day that my prayers go unanswered. I'm having a really difficult time with trusting God anymore, because, I'm not getting any kind of answers or help anymore, and when I do it's just the same thing. Wait. Just wait. keep waiting. I don't know how much longer I can wait. I've done nothing but wait. I just wish something could happen to give me some sign of hope. Right now, I have lost all hope.
I'm waiting for my medical insurance to kick in, and then will probably go get checked out for clinical depression, but until then...I have no clue.
At this point in my life, I had expected prophecies over me to be fulfilled, to be happily married and a good father, and to have a career to follow in. And I have none of those. Quite the opposite. A failed marriage, three kids who I can barely keep a handle on with just 2 evenings a week and 2 weekends a month, a job that is just....bleh, and no one to really just get together with and hang out. Not to mention, no sign of God doing any huge things. Not good ones at least.
It's such a pain. When my ex and I started splitting there were things that couldn't be explained other than by the divine intervention of God, and now, no matter how many times I ask for help and guidance, some kind of companionship or just some good change to hang on to, I just get nothing but silence. I read my bible everyday, and I try to pray, but it's just getting harder and harder and harder with every passing day that my prayers go unanswered. I'm having a really difficult time with trusting God anymore, because, I'm not getting any kind of answers or help anymore, and when I do it's just the same thing. Wait. Just wait. keep waiting. I don't know how much longer I can wait. I've done nothing but wait. I just wish something could happen to give me some sign of hope. Right now, I have lost all hope.
I'm waiting for my medical insurance to kick in, and then will probably go get checked out for clinical depression, but until then...I have no clue.