I need help
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It's something alright. I just don't know where it came from. And I've heard it so far twice from two different people on this forum
I have an update.
I sent the female half of the couple a Facebook personal message.
This is what I sent her...
This is an FYI for you and your male friend... I ended up in a co-dependent situation between you and Daniel by my helping the 2 of you with your problems, listening to your problems and so on. That co-dependent situation affected me negatively. I cannot be a part of any co-dependent situation. I cannot spend time with you, your male friend and my husband until you and your male friend address and fix the co-dependent problem or make progress.
This is her response.
Me and him are just friends now we don't have to worry about that anymore and we shouldn't have to put up with u and Charlie heated discussions half the time so don't worry about our problems Worry about your own
If u want to be friends and work it out this is not a way to handle things
This is frustrating to me. She says that people have left her throughout her life. I wonder why.
I sent the female half of the couple a Facebook personal message.
This is what I sent her...
This is an FYI for you and your male friend... I ended up in a co-dependent situation between you and Daniel by my helping the 2 of you with your problems, listening to your problems and so on. That co-dependent situation affected me negatively. I cannot be a part of any co-dependent situation. I cannot spend time with you, your male friend and my husband until you and your male friend address and fix the co-dependent problem or make progress.
This is her response.
Me and him are just friends now we don't have to worry about that anymore and we shouldn't have to put up with u and Charlie heated discussions half the time so don't worry about our problems Worry about your own
If u want to be friends and work it out this is not a way to handle things
This is frustrating to me. She says that people have left her throughout her life. I wonder why.
P
psalms128
Guest
Turns out the female friend told the male friend what I sent to her via Facebook personal message because my husband told me this morning that he asked him if he feels that he *the male friend* is co-dependent. He said that his female friend is co-dependent on him.
He wanted to give him something to think about.
He wanted to give him something to think about.
In Ecclesiates, the bible talks about there being a season and purpose under heaven. Perhaps your season is over with that woman. Love and friendship are supposed to lift you up, not emotionally drag you down and cause you to avoid. When you married your husband, it was between you and him, not you and him and them, so perhaps it is time to cut the ties and cleave only unto your husband and find new friends. Give yourself some credit, you complied and tried to be friends....but your Spirit is telling you that something is wrong with the friendship. Better to listen than to suffer emotionally and mentally!
My husband received a call today from the male friend letting him know that his female friend wants all 4 of us to discuss our friendship.
Signed. sealed, and delivered... Problem solved
.. Remember that codependency can't exist without an enabler. We've all met or had friends that will exploit good will, but its essential to know when to cut a person off. There's a big difference in helping a friend out and letting them completely overwhelm you, the codependent types fall into a category of "Friends with Limits".
Move on and concentrate your attention on yours and your husband's relationship. Right now you don't need four wheels You and your husband have to be on the same page and actually your husband needs to "wake up" to why he needs to include these two in any type of relationship when he already knows it has not made you comfortable and happy to begin with
end it
end it
Please find a celebrate recovery group to growout of this condition. If you don't, it will negatively affect your own home and relationships. It's not unloving to set boundaries.
Another update
My husband found out from the male half of the couple/friendship/whatever the 2 of them are the following...
The male friend and the female friend went to a counseling session today to discuss their problems as well as her problems.
He asked her to meet him halfway due to all of the driving he would have to do. She balked at that.
He also asked her to contribute gas money since they would also be going out to lunch in addition to going to the counseling session. She balked at that.
During the counseling session he mentioned that he would like his female friend to get help with the problems that she has which he himself cannot help her with. He told her that he will be supportive, but that there are things he just cannot help her with. She took that as his abandoning her. The counselor even told her that he loves her enough to want her to do this, but that did not change her mind.
My husband told me that the ball is literally in her court now.
He also told me that he will wait for the 2 of them to fix their problems, as friends and as individuals, before considering spending time with them.
He will leave her alone until further notice.
My husband found out from the male half of the couple/friendship/whatever the 2 of them are the following...
The male friend and the female friend went to a counseling session today to discuss their problems as well as her problems.
He asked her to meet him halfway due to all of the driving he would have to do. She balked at that.
He also asked her to contribute gas money since they would also be going out to lunch in addition to going to the counseling session. She balked at that.
During the counseling session he mentioned that he would like his female friend to get help with the problems that she has which he himself cannot help her with. He told her that he will be supportive, but that there are things he just cannot help her with. She took that as his abandoning her. The counselor even told her that he loves her enough to want her to do this, but that did not change her mind.
My husband told me that the ball is literally in her court now.
He also told me that he will wait for the 2 of them to fix their problems, as friends and as individuals, before considering spending time with them.
He will leave her alone until further notice.