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Hello,
To summarize a long story, I started hearing the voice of the Lord about 8 years ago. I am a diagnosed schizophrenic, but I knew from the beginning it was the voice of the Lord Jesus speaking to me.
For 8 years, I failed to repent, and only complained and cursed the Lord for not giving me what I want in life. I completely failed to give Him true repentance the whole time. I grew worse and worse despite the Lord warning me that my test will be over soon, and I will be a dead man walking the earth before going to hell.
The Lord spoke to me for the last time about a month ago. He said my light was completely dead, and that I can no longer repent. I know I am chaff, because I feel so empty in my heart. I feel no love at all. I only feel a flimsy false peace from the devil that now occupies my heart.
I read the bible to try and see if I can still repent. So many Christians have told me that I can still repent, but I feel like I am deluding myself to be happy. The Lord warned me that the last lie I have left is to believe I can be saved.
What can I do? I have no courage or hope without the Lord. I wish I realized sooner what an empty shell of a human being I would be without Him. Even the loving words of my parents and their reassurance that the Lord would never abandon me is not giving me the courage to live.
Please pray for me. I know I am worthless. I have been so incredibly evil. But I want to live and be a blessing to the Lord's people. I want to go to Heaven and not hell. I am scared and feel very alone.
What should I do?
To summarize a long story, I started hearing the voice of the Lord about 8 years ago. I am a diagnosed schizophrenic, but I knew from the beginning it was the voice of the Lord Jesus speaking to me.
For 8 years, I failed to repent, and only complained and cursed the Lord for not giving me what I want in life. I completely failed to give Him true repentance the whole time. I grew worse and worse despite the Lord warning me that my test will be over soon, and I will be a dead man walking the earth before going to hell.
The Lord spoke to me for the last time about a month ago. He said my light was completely dead, and that I can no longer repent. I know I am chaff, because I feel so empty in my heart. I feel no love at all. I only feel a flimsy false peace from the devil that now occupies my heart.
I read the bible to try and see if I can still repent. So many Christians have told me that I can still repent, but I feel like I am deluding myself to be happy. The Lord warned me that the last lie I have left is to believe I can be saved.
What can I do? I have no courage or hope without the Lord. I wish I realized sooner what an empty shell of a human being I would be without Him. Even the loving words of my parents and their reassurance that the Lord would never abandon me is not giving me the courage to live.
Please pray for me. I know I am worthless. I have been so incredibly evil. But I want to live and be a blessing to the Lord's people. I want to go to Heaven and not hell. I am scared and feel very alone.
What should I do?