Atrn221, I was born and raised in a Christian household (which I still am in). My parents were missionaries with an organization called SAM. They went to Colombia and Peru. I was in Colombia with them for about 1o or 15 years and I was in Peru for 2 and a half years, During that time, I was just living a lifestyle going to church, reading the Bible in Sunday School, and going to some else's devotions\ time. It is hard to describe, but there came a time when a switch just went on, that I needed to accept Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. I did it through a prayer to Jesus Christ (it is not magic, it is like a contract only you have signed your life over to God). Changes did take place but again that is still not the end of my story. I got back to the United States and my parents ended their missionary work for SAM. After a few years, I started to ask questions like why did Jesus die on the cross and there might have been many others I asked. I asked the first question and pretty much understood my mom's answer intellectually but it was like I did not get it. Then a Sunday after that, my pastor was doing a sermon on accepting Jesus Christ into your life. His words that day were guided through the Holy Spirit and touched and I finally understood both intellectually and in my heart why Jesus died on the cross for my sins. After that experience, the Holy Spirit had touched and I was crying with happiness, it was of the spirit because I usually never do that. Some people wondered if I was okay, but I knew I was. After that, I had my first communion. Shortly after a few years past and I got baptized into the name of Jesus as a symbol of my Christian faith and show publicly to the world that I am of God now not of the world. But my story does not end there. Shortly after that when I got into high school and even a lot of college and even at times still now, I got addicted to pornography it really messed me up back. It became crazy and I moved through different phases. My mom caught me many times and some of my privileges on the computer were revoked for a time then they were restored. But then one time, I felt an emptiness in my heart and cried to Jesus, to rescue me from this sin. I recommitted my life to Christ and I am not looking back. True I still have this addiction and especially at night it keeps on attacking me and even if I fall some times, God has given me the strength to keep on getting up just like that song by TobyMac.
Atrn, just come as you are to the throne of grace and believe in the name of Jesus with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, then he can forgive your sins and cleanse you of all unrighteousness. By the way, I recommend to you a book written by a former atheist called The Case for Christ, there you will find evidence for Christianity in archaeology, psychology, etc. Also about homosexuality, I believe that no one is born ''gay" or "straight", but that we are born sinners and that depending on the environment we get raised in, the people we hang out with, the media that we listen to, and feelings that we decide to follow impulsively, can have negative impacts in our life and produce scars that take time and healing to reduce in size and ultimately remove. While feelings are pretty accurate many times, they don't imply that we are born with a certain sexual orientation, preference, or whatever one calls it. So please listen to the words that I have written and read the verses that I have referenced below. They can change your life.
John 3:16-17
"For God so loved the world (Atrn221) that he gave his one and only Son (Jesus Christ that whoever (if Atrn221) believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world (Atrn221), but to save the world (Atrn221) through him.
Romans 10:9
"That, If you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved (rescued)."
Now is the time of grace and now is the hour of salvation. It is only opened for a limited time. Take advantage of it and believe and you will have eternal life. True, your life might become messier when you receive him, but then you can ask for guidance from Christians on this site and also pray to God that he would help you in your time of need. Put your faith (trust) in Jesus, today and you will not regret it. Right now you are a slave to sin. Slave meaning that whatever controls you, is who you are slave to. But if you believe in Jesus, the chains of sin and bondage that sin has on your life, will be broken and you will be free and your master will be Jesus and that is true to freedom. Nowadays many people believe that slavery is wrong yet many don't realize that people in the world who do not know Jesus, are enslaved to sin, the flesh, and Satan. Jesus has set before you life and death, please choose life. Amen.