I need some serious advice

[koni_mutt]

Hello everyone! I need some advice. I'm 20 going on 21, and I started following Christ when I was 17, but I started getting serious about it when I was 19.
I was listening to this pastor online recently and in one of his sermons he was talking about how listening to just their ministry online wasn't enough. He said it was important to have fellowship with people in person at a church, so my husband and I went to a new church last Sunday. When we went to this church, things weren't looking too good. There were papers all over the pews, cobwebs everywhere, holes in the ceilings and, worst of all, the boiler stopped working. The Deacon explained that they couldn't start service because of the issue, and we went home. Something told me to help these people by maybe donating a vacuum cleaner and helping clean up the church a little. I don't know whether this was the Holy Spirit or just me thinking about it. I asked my husband if it would be okay to help out, and he told me he didn't want me to be burdened with the responsibility of taking care of the church. He was afraid that the Deacon would ask for more favors, and I wouldn't be able to see my husband anymore. He told me that sometimes God punishes people who neglect the church and that I might be punished if I interfere with God's plan. I know that it says in the bible to obey your husband, but I don't know if what he's saying is true. He has told me recently that he didn't want me to be baptized because it's a big responsibility even though I want to confess my faith, but he believes that if I get baptized I'll have to be part of the church I got baptized from permanently and that I'll have to change my life around in ways I might not be ready for. He tells me being baptized is not necessary, but I really would like it to be done, and I'm already willing to submit myself to the Lord, even though I'm not perfect. I confess my sins and pray to him when I can, and I try my best to follow His word. I just want to do the right thing to please God. I'm still new to all of this and I don't know if what I'm feeling is right.
I prayed about this issue, and I haven't received an answer from the Lord yet. What should I do?

 

[Magenta]

Welcome!

 

[koni_mutt]

Welcome!

Thank you so much!

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

Hello everyone! I need some advice. I'm 20 going on 21, and I started following Christ when I was 17, but I started getting serious about it when I was 19.
I was listening to this pastor online recently and in one of his sermons he was talking about how listening to just their ministry online wasn't enough. He said it was important to have fellowship with people in person at a church, so my husband and I went to a new church last Sunday. When we went to this church, things weren't looking too good. There were papers all over the pews, cobwebs everywhere, holes in the ceilings and, worst of all, the boiler stopped working. The Deacon explained that they couldn't start service because of the issue, and we went home. Something told me to help these people by maybe donating a vacuum cleaner and helping clean up the church a little. I don't know whether this was the Holy Spirit or just me thinking about it. I asked my husband if it would be okay to help out, and he told me he didn't want me to be burdened with the responsibility of taking care of the church. He was afraid that the Deacon would ask for more favors, and I wouldn't be able to see my husband anymore. He told me that sometimes God punishes people who neglect the church and that I might be punished if I interfere with God's plan. I know that it says in the bible to obey your husband, but I don't know if what he's saying is true. He has told me recently that he didn't want me to be baptized because it's a big responsibility even though I want to confess my faith, but he believes that if I get baptized I'll have to be part of the church I got baptized from permanently and that I'll have to change my life around in ways I might not be ready for. He tells me being baptized is not necessary, but I really would like it to be done, and I'm already willing to submit myself to the Lord, even though I'm not perfect. I confess my sins and pray to him when I can, and I try my best to follow His word. I just want to do the right thing to please God. I'm still new to all of this and I don't know if what I'm feeling is right.
I prayed about this issue, and I haven't received an answer from the Lord yet. What should I do?

There are two principles I'd take into consideration first.

1. Does that church, pastor in particular, hold to the fundamentals of the Bible? I can provide a list, but if he so much as preaches an unclear or false gospel, I would not touch it with a ten foot broom. Wipe off your feet on the way out the door and take your blessing with you to a good church.

2. I would listen to your husband's authority while serving the Lord in many other ways. It doesn't need to be that church. Just humbly ask your husband to lead and pray for God's direction. This is His design.

The problems you described might be because of a small church in a poverty stricken place. It could also be like some churches too that expect their 75 y.o. pastor to do everything and won't pitch in or contribute financially. This is a common problem and requires strong leadership as well as willing fellowship.
Whatever the case, I would not contribute to the blessings of an unscriptural church. Once your husband and you can discern that, then you can decide about the other. It will take much more than a vacuum cleaner. Everyone in the church will need to tithe to buy the supplies to replace that roof and fix the heater.

Here is the blessing < the pastor must be true to.

 

[keepingthingsreal]

Hi, koni_mutt.

Although the Bible does speak about wives being in subjection to or obeying their own husbands (Eph. 5:22, 24, Col. 3:18, Tit. 2:5, 1 Pet. 3:1, 5), this does not mean that wives should submit to or obey anything evil that their husbands might be involved in. A classic example of this can be found here.

Act 5:1
But a certain man named Ananias, with Sapphira his wife, sold a possession,
Act 5:2
And kept back part of the price, his wife also being privy to it, and brought a certain part, and laid it at the apostles' feet.
Act 5:3
But Peter said, Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Ghost, and to keep back part of the price of the land?
Act 5:4
Whiles it remained, was it not thine own? and after it was sold, was it not in thine own power? why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God.
Act 5:5
And Ananias hearing these words fell down, and gave up the ghost: and great fear came on all them that heard these things.
Act 5:6
And the young men arose, wound him up, and carried him out, and buried him.
Act 5:7
And it was about the space of three hours after, when his wife, not knowing what was done, came in.
Act 5:8
And Peter answered unto her, Tell me whether ye sold the land for so much? And she said, Yea, for so much.
Act 5:9
Then Peter said unto her, How is it that ye have agreed together to tempt the Spirit of the Lord? behold, the feet of them which have buried thy husband are at the door, and shall carry thee out.
Act 5:10
Then fell she down straightway at his feet, and yielded up the ghost: and the young men came in, and found her dead, and, carrying her forth, buried her by her husband.
Act 5:11
And great fear came upon all the church, and upon as many as heard these things.

Sapphira lost her life because she agreed with her husband to tempt the Spirit of the Lord, so there are times when wives ought not submit to or obey the things which their own husbands are involved in. You might also want to read the account surrounding Nabal and Abigail in 1 Samuel chapter 25. There, Abigail's husband, Nabal, did not want to help David and his men, but Abigail helped them behind his back. God wound up killing Nabal, and Abigail wound up being blessed. Again, no wife should ever submit to her own husband when he is doing evil in the sight of the Lord in that matter. I cannot tell you what to do in relation to possibly helping out that church, but God will instruct you what to do if you bring that matter before him humbly in prayer.

As far as water baptism is concerned, you should definitely be water baptized.

1Pe 3:18
For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit:
1Pe 3:19
By which also he went and preached unto the spirits in prison;
1Pe 3:20
Which sometime were disobedient, when once the longsuffering of God waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was a preparing, wherein few, that is, eight souls were saved by water.
1Pe 3:21
The like figure whereunto even baptism doth also now save us (not the putting away of the filth of the flesh, but the answer of a good conscience toward God,) by the resurrection of Jesus Christ:
1Pe 3:22
Who is gone into heaven, and is on the right hand of God; angels and authorities and powers being made subject unto him.

Water baptism is the answer of a good conscience towards God. In other words, if you believe that Jesus was raised from the dead, and if you believe that he is now seated at the Father's right hand, with angels, authorities, and powers having been made subject unto him, then you should be water baptized because this symbolically shows that you have similarly been buried with Christ, and raised up with him to sit in heavenly places with him (Eph. 1:19-2:7). Of course, the answer of a bad conscience would be to not follow the Lord in this God-given ordinance. Following Christ is not always easy. In fact, it rarely is easy. In this case, who will you obey? Your husband who is seeking to hinder you from following what the Lord ordained in relation to water baptism or the Lord himself? I would encourage you to obey the Lord. Also, you would not really be getting baptized into any church, but rather baptized to signify your faith in relation to Christ's resurrection from the dead. Anyhow, the choice is ultimately yours to make, so choose wisely.

 

[Tall_Timbers]

1. Get baptized.

2. Find a different church

3. Read your Bible so you can make decisions based on what the Bible says and not on what someone else tells you, even a pastor. If a pastor says something and you think, yes, that's what the Bible says, that's good confirmation.

4. Be obedient to your husband except where he tells you something that conflicts with what the Bible teaches. Get baptized.

 

[Gideon300]

Hello everyone! I need some advice. I'm 20 going on 21, and I started following Christ when I was 17, but I started getting serious about it when I was 19.
I was listening to this pastor online recently and in one of his sermons he was talking about how listening to just their ministry online wasn't enough. He said it was important to have fellowship with people in person at a church, so my husband and I went to a new church last Sunday. When we went to this church, things weren't looking too good. There were papers all over the pews, cobwebs everywhere, holes in the ceilings and, worst of all, the boiler stopped working. The Deacon explained that they couldn't start service because of the issue, and we went home. Something told me to help these people by maybe donating a vacuum cleaner and helping clean up the church a little. I don't know whether this was the Holy Spirit or just me thinking about it. I asked my husband if it would be okay to help out, and he told me he didn't want me to be burdened with the responsibility of taking care of the church. He was afraid that the Deacon would ask for more favors, and I wouldn't be able to see my husband anymore. He told me that sometimes God punishes people who neglect the church and that I might be punished if I interfere with God's plan. I know that it says in the bible to obey your husband, but I don't know if what he's saying is true. He has told me recently that he didn't want me to be baptized because it's a big responsibility even though I want to confess my faith, but he believes that if I get baptized I'll have to be part of the church I got baptized from permanently and that I'll have to change my life around in ways I might not be ready for. He tells me being baptized is not necessary, but I really would like it to be done, and I'm already willing to submit myself to the Lord, even though I'm not perfect. I confess my sins and pray to him when I can, and I try my best to follow His word. I just want to do the right thing to please God. I'm still new to all of this and I don't know if what I'm feeling is right.
I prayed about this issue, and I haven't received an answer from the Lord yet. What should I do?

Your husband has some misconceptions. It is also presumptuous to assume that the church would try to use you. If everyone had the same attitude, nothing would change. Your example might even stir up others to pitch in and help. However, you do not want to antagonise your husband. Perhaps you could come to some agreement about the degree and kind of help you could offer.

We are baptised into the body of Christ, not a particular congregation. You cannot be forced to join a congregation. If they try that on you, find somewhere else to be baptised. Being baptised is fundamentally obedience to God's command.

God requires an attitude of submission from both men and women, married and single. Disobedience is at the root of sin. So God has put a structure and hierarchy in the church. It's a challenge to submit at times.

Having said that, we are not required to submit to what is wrong. I left a church where the pastor said that we should follow him over a cliff. That's just silly. Yet most people stuck with him, right up until it all fell apart. A lot of people were deeply hurt as a result. I was able to avoid that myself.

 

[shittim]

Many churches teach religion, Jesus modeled how we are to live, and that is in relationship. One on one relationship with the Father by relationship with Christ. Jesus said , "I only do what I see the Father do," and " I only say what I hear the Father say". The word for the "church" in the Greek is Ecclesia, and it means the body of believers, not a man made building or institution. in the book of Acts the early church were families that met in homes, invited Holy Spirit to come and minister, building each other up.
There has never been a time when more excellent teaching has been available and I much prefer and grow from a teaching ministry than a preaching ministry to grow in Him.
Baptism need not be by immersion either, sprinkling works too, it is an outward sign of the invitation to Jesus to come in and dwell by way of Holy Spirit to guide, speak and show all truth.
One favorite to teach relationship I appreciate is John Wimber, his Personal Pilgrimage video is on youtube, he was a musician, developed the Righteous Brothers, and was scheduled to go on the first American tour with the Beatle when he accepted Christ, and then figured if Christ was worth going with, He was worth going with all the way. 30 years later in a teaching he called The Kingdom of God, also available on you tube he was able to say giving up the career in secular music, fame and wealth for Christ was the best decision he ever made.
Religion often teaches we have to do a lot of "stuff" to make ourselves right with God so He will love us, that isn't right, He already loves us and Jesus said "It is finished" when He completed the atoning work of the cross, we now invite Him in to guide us to be His hands and feet here.
John tells his testimony well and with humor, when you your husband share it, I believe you will be very blessed.
It gets rolling about 5 or so minutes into it-

 

[Snackersmom]

Hi Koni, welcome to the site!

The Bible does indeed tell wives to submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22)

[22] Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. [23] For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. [24] Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

However, it is your responsibility to make sure that what you are submitting to aligns with God's laws. So it's perfectly fine to ask your husband to tell you the verses he is referencing so you can read them yourself (I have no idea where He got the part about having to attend the specific church that baptizes you, that is not in the Bible ). But he is correct that if you decide to get baptized you should take it seriously and understand what you are doing.

Regarding you helping clean the church, I would ask him what verse says that you might get punished for stepping up to help . But it's also true that when married, our most important human ministry is to our spouse (and second is to your kids if you have them). So once you figure out what God's specific call is for you, don't allow it to hinder your ministry at home. If your husband is praying about all this then you two should be able to come to a solution with God's help.

All the best!

 

[shittim]

The Lord first, kiddos second, they need you nurturing, husband 3rd. if the husband is a Godly man, there should be no conflict between these spheres .

 

[Nebuchadnezzar]

Hello everyone! I need some advice. I'm 20 going on 21, and I started following Christ when I was 17, but I started getting serious about it when I was 19.
I was listening to this pastor online recently and in one of his sermons he was talking about how listening to just their ministry online wasn't enough. He said it was important to have fellowship with people in person at a church, so my husband and I went to a new church last Sunday. When we went to this church, things weren't looking too good. There were papers all over the pews, cobwebs everywhere, holes in the ceilings and, worst of all, the boiler stopped working. The Deacon explained that they couldn't start service because of the issue, and we went home. Something told me to help these people by maybe donating a vacuum cleaner and helping clean up the church a little. I don't know whether this was the Holy Spirit or just me thinking about it. I asked my husband if it would be okay to help out, and he told me he didn't want me to be burdened with the responsibility of taking care of the church. He was afraid that the Deacon would ask for more favors, and I wouldn't be able to see my husband anymore. He told me that sometimes God punishes people who neglect the church and that I might be punished if I interfere with God's plan. I know that it says in the bible to obey your husband, but I don't know if what he's saying is true. He has told me recently that he didn't want me to be baptized because it's a big responsibility even though I want to confess my faith, but he believes that if I get baptized I'll have to be part of the church I got baptized from permanently and that I'll have to change my life around in ways I might not be ready for. He tells me being baptized is not necessary, but I really would like it to be done, and I'm already willing to submit myself to the Lord, even though I'm not perfect. I confess my sins and pray to him when I can, and I try my best to follow His word. I just want to do the right thing to please God. I'm still new to all of this and I don't know if what I'm feeling is right.
I prayed about this issue, and I haven't received an answer from the Lord yet. What should I do?

I would say, take your question to God! Pray on it and wait for the answer to be revealed.

I have a friend who speaks to me about everything he's going through.

I could honestly respond through my perspective.

God sees all and knows all. Even my friends heart. And depending on where my friend's heart is, how would he receive the instructions?

 

[j55]

Hello sister or brother. Amos chapter 8. We're in time of famine. Lot of people are hard pressed to hear God's truth. Because there are many misguided preachers in the world. Hosea and amos tell us to seek bethel, house of God, and not Beth Aven, which is vanity. The Beth avens teach traditions of men and fairy tales. I would not make tithe offerings or donations to church that is Beth aven. If there using manipulation or scare tactics. Bottom line. Are the churches focused on teaching sound doctrine. Or focused on attendence and money. In Acts, apostle Paul was tent maker, he earned his way. He didn't beg people for money. Paul taught God's word for free. Jesus went into the temple and taught God's word free. Jeremiah chapter 3. God tells us, we would see our teachers with our own eyes. I studied under pastor for over 20 years. And I have king James Bible. Im former student of shepherds chapel. If you care to check them out on you tube. Take care.