If God Never Brings You A Partner...Cool With That?

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DuchessAimee said:
I'm going to regret this too Chrissy. Let's regret our posts together. Whadda say?

Currently, I have a dichotomy. I'm split between being okay and not okay with not having a mate. (And the glasses come off because I know I'm going to cry...) I'm terrified of a functioning relationship with a man. To the point I will sabotage. I'm a huge idiot, and I'm willing to admit it.

I've only ever been in love with men who will leave me, and if it looks like they won't, I seem to create circumstances in which the only thing they can do is leave. However, I only recently have come to see this. I found a blog last night that really opened my eyes as to what I was doing and how I was doing it. God fascinates me! A typo into Google and up pops a site that just... yeah. Anyway, I have issues. I have big issues, and if I want to feel better about me, I need to fix them.

I want a husband, kids, the works. But I don't want a divorce. As a matter of fact, I don't ever want to even discuss the possibility of divorce with a husband. If I'm being completely honest, I'm just flat out terrified. Am I worth being loved? Will I be a good enough wife and mother? Am I going to be able to handle being a nurse, raising a family, going to church, making lunches, and the 9 million other things that go into life?

The one man that was supposed to love me forever left. He chose another woman and drugs over his wife and child. There were no visits, no birthday cards, no "it wasn't your fault" conversations. I got nothing. And I knew as a child that his child support was anything but timely, so because he didn't even care enough to pay the money the courts ordered on time, I figured he didn't love me. I was also informed as a child that the courts had to set up taking money out of his paycheck each week. So what did he do? He quit his job. I was very well aware that he didn't love me or want me.

Please parents, do not tell your children about child support. Don't tell them that it's late. Don't tell them the court forces them to pay it. Be a grown up. If you're mad, bitter, or whatever else at your ex, DEAL WITH IT. Don't put healing off. Don't poison your kids against their other parent. Kids blame themselves for everything and
by my mother telling me these things about my dad, it's greatly shaped who I am and what I have to overcome today. And here's something that I don't get. I love my dad. Still.

I know that not all men are like my dad. I've met men who love and take care of their children, their wives, their pets, etc. But I'm terrified that once I'm with a man long enough he'll look at me and say, "you're so not worth this". Because it's
happened every other time.

Can I move past all this? By the grace, love, and work of my heavenly Father, I absolutely can! God has brought me through so much, and I've watched him work in other people's lives to such a point that I know he can do anything.

I would be okay if I never married, and at the same time I would be disappointed.
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Aimes girl.. You completely rock sister!! it so difficult not to want to close the Door up to our heart and throw the key away forever when our hearts been ripped out and stomped on .. it takes such courage to even " think" about even beginning to go
look for that key when someone tries to come near ..I know I acted like a saskwatch , hyena , and godzilla all wrapped into one when they did..I was awful! To such a point ( I'm embarrassed to even share this but I will) a guy came and sat next to me I could feel my skin crawl.. The poor fella , he had no idea he just sat next to chewbacca on roids.. He very nicely said hi I'm ( don't rememeber his name) and stuck his hand out .. Can you believe that's all it took for my head to spin around ? i looked at His hand then I looked him straight in the eye for about twenty seconds, (I didn't even shake his hand ) then said " hello I'm Michelle and i hate men, so you might have a better chance shaking the gentlemans hand on the other side of you" I'm telling ya aimes, i never took my eyes off his..
I'm tellin you I was awful.. that was right after my sternum had been broken and recovering from bite marks on my entire face .. From a near fatal relationship.. very short period but whoa!! I don't share that story much if hardly ever.. but I felt since you found the courage to share and spill like a rockstar , I'd stand up and join you.. some scars run very deep and we never really know the Hurt others are recovering from.. I'm really proud of you girl , you relationship in vhrost and those battles you went through has made you a stronger and more Godly woman today.. It's awesome to listen to a teatimony like yours and see God isn't done with any of us yet ..
such things make us love deeper and stronger because the emphasis had been embeded into is when we dont.. IRS never failure because it produces an outcome of something more beautiful..And you are a perfect example of that aimes! And I'm just going on like the energizer bunny here..
anyway , thumbs up to you Aimee!! ( take that dutches crown off girl , you are a QUEENN!)
 
Just for the record...I think a lot of you women (and dudes) are ROCKSTARS for sharing such personal stuff with all of us. Muchas Gracias!:cool:
 
DuchessAimee said:
I'm going to regret this too Chrissy. Let's regret our posts together. Whadda say?


I want a husband, kids, the works. But I don't want a divorce. As a matter of fact, I don't ever want to even discuss the possibility of divorce with a husband. If I'm being completely honest, I'm just flat out terrified. Am I worth being loved? Will I be a good enough wife and mother? Am I going to be able to handle being a nurse, raising a family, going to church, making lunches, and the 9 million other things that go into life?

.
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First off Aimee, hugs!!!! You have nothing to regret about what you said!
I can relate oh so well to being scared of divorce. I can't stand that word!
 
This songs for you Aimes
I stinkin LOVE this girls pipes! My favorite singer on you tube
Enjoy !

YouTube

Throwing in an extra song for the rest of ya'all
Love ya! We are as one!

YouTube
 
I have owned 8 computers with a total of seven different operating systems (often 2 systems on each), and none of them work(ed) right on all applications. Yet, the people who design them expect to get paid for their work.

We are living in a society that is becoming increasingly selfish, and free of ethics.

I offer this observation to those of you who have been so hurt by having a spouse (especially a man) make a promise to stay with you for life, and then not keep that promise. It hurts women more, I think, because a man can make a baby in a half hour; a woman spends 30 years doing it. The husband has got to be there, or it just does not work. I think that's where the current generation of computer makers comes from, is those kinds of marriages.

They used to say "see how he treats his mother", and I think that is probably still true. I would offer this as a suggetion for potential wives, of if remarrying, "see how he treated the first one", hopefully before she died only, not before they separated because of "something she did". I would also add, "see how he does his job."

As a second suggestion, think about love in Greek, instead of in English. eros (sexual love), philia (friendship), agape (Christian love). Having different words helps a lot. In John 21:15ff, read in Greek, Peter is actually using a different word for love than what Jesus is asking for. That's why Jesus needs to keep asking. In a sense, Peter is saying no. Make sure what your intended is saying to you.
 
[brett@praxis ~]$ uname -a
Linux praxis 3.8.3-203.fc18.i686 #1 SMP Mon Mar 18 13:20:52 UTC 2013 i686 i686 i386 GNU/Linux
 
Just for the record...I think a lot of you women (and dudes) are ROCKSTARS for sharing such personal stuff with all of us. Muchas Gracias!:cool:
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It's easier to do online than in person. E-fellowshipping has its advantages as well as disadvantages.
 
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