True Love is a Magical Religious thing. FACT.
Personal perspective
A line from one of my all time favorite movies is "Happiness is only real when shared."
Dating Relationships always feel like people building towards each other, like drawing closer, exploring, revealing, sharing, etc. Its always been a process of establishing what a relationship means and what it is capable of and where it is headed. It can be fun adventurous exciting to be filled with joy at the thought of who they are and what it feels like to spend time with them. People say I love you in the midst of this, and I think they mean it. But there is way more....
But, True Love happens when there is nothing left to reveal. When its not about the exploration of each other, It is about belonging, being understood and being completely accepted. In a sense it is about taking for granted that they are the other half of the equation. It exists without limits on Expression or Trust. It is the expectation, actualization and realization that the one person we want to share the rest of our life with, we get to keep. It is the Epiphany that we make someone else as happy as they make us and there is no other acceptable possible outcome. I ceases being about each other and becomes simply moving forward through life together as One entity.
Its like the difference between buying a car and paying it off. Yeah it feels good to buy a car but, you know its yours and nothing can take it away from you, when you have the title in your hand.
OK, I think this is beautiful. And perhaps this does happen to people in real life, but I would not know. At this point in my life, I am kind of cynical, and perhaps I don't really know what 'love' really should be between a man and a woman. Like others have described, each person is an individual moving through their own particular set of circumstances. It's funny how things change over time. Through life experiences, we grow and change, and it is easier to look back on things and say "oh, yeah,..that's what was wrong with that relationship...or perhaps it wasn't really love after all." From a woman's perspective (and I am only speaking for myself, so please don't get mad at me), a quote from a movie seems to keep ringing through my head.... We accept the love we think we deserve.
I while back I was listening to a man on the radio shell out some statistics for a book he had written. He reported that most people will get engaged by 18 months after dating and will be married within 3 years. The longer a relationship goes past the 18 month mark without becoming engaged, he found that the likelihood of those people actually getting married decreased as time went on. Now don't pounce on me, I'm just telling you what he was saying. He also said that from all the woman he interviewed that were 40 and unmarried, there was a common theme. Most of them were ones that did not date alot, but would be in a 2-3 long term relationships that would end up going no where and essentially wasted their time. lol And I just about wrecked my car listening to him. But how long does it take for you to really know someone? I don't know if a year is enough time hahaha.
I think most people do the 'best' they can in the current moment in time they are in. I say this because, love could fit this beautiful description as quoted above, and these people get married,...and lets say they put Christ first,...then one falls away and has an affair. Or 2 people truly love each other, are committed, get married,..and then one finds Christ while the other turns away. Life can be very complicated. And after reading books like Love Languages, and Love is a Choice,..I am not even sure how men and women manage to keep it together anyway. Now, at 35, I wish I had Christ in my life when I was younger, and followed his plan for me. But I can't change the past, and I did the 'best' I could at the moment I was in. Ah, I wonder what life would be like now if had started out doing what God wanted...hmmm. One thing I do know now, is that our 'heart' lies to us (Beth Moore speaks about this in some of her books) and when I hear ''follow your heart'' I cringe sometimes because that may not be a good idea
.Here is my biggest complaint with love and relationships. In my experience, there is a window of time where you are dating, and the other person is great, and they think you are great, etc. You grow to know each other really well, and those little things that at one point may be 'cute' or a minor annoyance, are greatly overlooked. All of the sudden, instead of accepting the person entirely, people seek to change the other person, or the little things are now big things. This may be after all the newness wears off, and unfortunately this may take a while for these things to surface. For example, I was in a long term relationship once, and after about a year, he started to criticize things about my personality and yes, I do tend to occasionally shred a paper napkin if I go out to eat with you
. Up until then, things were great, and I truly loved this person and felt they truly loved me. But, it took me a really long time to understand that it wasn't really a good thing after all. Even though I was committed, loved and probably married this person,..I am thankful now looking back that it did not happen. Again, I did not really begin a relationship with Christ until a few years ago,..and boy I things would have been very different if I could go back and do it all over again. But since this that relationship, I find it pops up again and again in the relationship arena and it would have to be a miracle from God for someone to put up with me and my oddities . Even though I've never been married, I think that love and marriage has its ups and downs, and takes work and commitment. I understand there may be days where the other person is driving you crazy, but you would fight to the death for them, and you must choose to love them (reference to the book). The butterflies may be gone but the depth of love is firmly rooted, continually growing and branching into a deeply personal, intimate love...something you work to protect..you cherish. The key point, I see in this is the foundation of Christ for which this relationship can grow in. I like to think that if you are blessed with another person to share your life with, its just that....an amazing blessing (that is if it's God's choice for you). And I think that, both people must have a strong commitment with Christ first, and wake up every day putting the needs of the other person first,..well then...I bet that would be pretty amazing.
sorry for my rant lol....thanks you all.
