It's about 2:30 a.m., and I'm awake and in pain. It's not physical pain. It's heartache.
I feel it most days at one time or another, this weight of grief and hurt.
These are times when I tend to rehearse what has gone wrong, the losses, the slaps in the face, the sins I've committed.
I think it wouldn't hurt as much if I would talk these things out with people in the church. But I hold back for various reasons, including that I don't want to fill others with heaviness of heart.
Sometimes it's hard to convey the depth of the darkness I've experienced, the sadness and the pain (I've had good things, too, and many blessings. I have to recognize this. Part of what I'm going through is grief over my dad's death).
If anyone else out there feels alone, or feels unseen in that way, know that God knows what you're going through and what you've been through. (I'm telling myself this now as much as I'm writing you.) You can tell Him your story, but even if you can't put it to words, He already gets it and gets you.
I have to remind myself of that: He knows, He's there, He sees and He loves!
If you're lonely at night, you can hold your Bible to your chest. Speak out that He'll never leave you or forsake you. Speak other promises in His Word that He has for His children: Nothing can separate you from His love (Romans 8:38-39), and give Him your cares, including your anxieties and your wounds, because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).
Remember those times He's come through for you, encouraged you and breathed hope into you. Think on the sweet and lovely things of life.
Whisper Jesus' name.
And know that you are loved.
---
“My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
**Psalms *73:26 *NKJV
I feel it most days at one time or another, this weight of grief and hurt.
These are times when I tend to rehearse what has gone wrong, the losses, the slaps in the face, the sins I've committed.
I think it wouldn't hurt as much if I would talk these things out with people in the church. But I hold back for various reasons, including that I don't want to fill others with heaviness of heart.
Sometimes it's hard to convey the depth of the darkness I've experienced, the sadness and the pain (I've had good things, too, and many blessings. I have to recognize this. Part of what I'm going through is grief over my dad's death).
If anyone else out there feels alone, or feels unseen in that way, know that God knows what you're going through and what you've been through. (I'm telling myself this now as much as I'm writing you.) You can tell Him your story, but even if you can't put it to words, He already gets it and gets you.
I have to remind myself of that: He knows, He's there, He sees and He loves!
If you're lonely at night, you can hold your Bible to your chest. Speak out that He'll never leave you or forsake you. Speak other promises in His Word that He has for His children: Nothing can separate you from His love (Romans 8:38-39), and give Him your cares, including your anxieties and your wounds, because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).
Remember those times He's come through for you, encouraged you and breathed hope into you. Think on the sweet and lovely things of life.
Whisper Jesus' name.
And know that you are loved.
---
“My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
**Psalms *73:26 *NKJV
I'm sorry you're missing your dad. It is hard.