IM NOT SEEKING PITY I AM ACTIVELY SEEKING THE LORD AND I NEED GUIDANCE AND I WANT LORD TO GUIDE ME IN EVERY WAY I NEED TO FIND A CHURCH AND A LOVING CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY LORD HELP ME DIRECT MY PATHS IN ALL WAYS
IT IS NOT MY INTENTION TO SOUND SHRIEKING DISTRESS ALARMS AND FREAK PEOPLE OUT OR PROVOKE DRAMA OR SOLICIT UNWARRANTED SYMPATHY NOT TRYING TO SPREAD A VILE INFECTIOUS DISEASE OF TOXIC NEGATIVITY MY PRISON IS MY MIND AND BODY I AM SHUT DOWN INSIDE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AND YES BEFORE ANYONE ASKS I ALREADY KNOW I SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION AS WELL AS OTHER ISSUES AND YES I HAVE BEEN IN THERAPY AND YES I ALREADY TAKE MEDS-- 3 OF THEM. i know im intense and hypersensitive and i know these are key reasons why i am repugnant unloved unattractive im not an athlete i cant play sports im dyspraxic severely uncoordinated i am who i am and i am not ashamed of who i am with the gifts the Lord created me with but i wish i werent so unlovable and despicable
I need prayer from any of my loving brothers and sisters out there. Im feeling so lonely, so dead inside, so stuck without anything to fuel me with life energy or reinforce my belief in any hope. no positivity. ive been so ravaged by depression and isolation that it's like everything inside me has dried up. The world is so bleak. I'm the driver of my flatlining life comatose driving lifelessly behind the wheel with no glimmer of light on the horizon just moving pointlessly across a static gray landscape with nothing ahead to look forward to. i cant even do my creative writing. THIS KILLS ME. DESTROYS ME. IT'S AGONY EVERY DAY. i dont know what's wrong with me. how do i get my creative drive back? is it gone forever? has my spirit already been destroyed and all that i am perished just left to rot in this husk of flesk, a vessel without joy without a sense of purpose, detached from everything, alienated from the world.
I DONTWANTTOBETHEDRIVEROFMYLIFE I SUCK AT THIS. GOD PLEASE TAKE CONTROL.
im just drifting. deteriorating. i feel so dead. so worthle$$. i want love. my #1 fear that i will never have it. idontwanttobealoneforever. iwant to quit smoking, been smoking so long and it's so hard to quit but it's so hard to feel motivated when im this lonely unhappy and incapacitated not even able to write. im unloved. maybe unlovable. impossible to imagine a better road ahead. impossible to conceive of the light. impossible to believe i can find love. im 34years old and im a pathetic abysmal failure. im such a wreck. ive screwed up so bad and i will never have what i want. im just a vacant zombie suffering in emptiness. anguished by this unchanging inextricable stranglehood that has sucked me bone dry. im starved of joy and purpose. there's no stimulus.
i want to live life ABUNDANTLY. o Lord Jesus. life feels all randomness and stark solitude. just going nowhere digging myself deeper into nowhere. im nobody buried in a dungheap in the middle of nowhere. LORD HEAR MY PRAYER. ZAP ME BACK ELECTRIFY INTO A FLOURISHING TEEMING GROUNDSWELL OF ENERGY I WANT TO CLING TO YOU LORD AND GLORIFY YOU LORD. MAKE ME AN INSTRUMENT OF YOUR PEACE. LORD PLEASE THE WORLD MY LIFE ALL FEELS STRIPPED OF MEANING A BLANK BARREN PAGE DEVOID OF NARRATIVE OF PURPOSE. im antagonized by the ever present menace of emptiness. i have played with the darkness. sought proof of the spiritual in the occult.
I DONT WANT THE WORLD TO BE RANDOMNESS AND CHANCE NO ESSENTIAL MEANING. I KNOW U SAVED MY LIFE 16 YEARS AGO LORD PLEASE ANCHOR ME LIFT ME UP OUT OF THIS INSUFFERABLE MIRE. RENEW ME LORD. REINVIGORATE ME. RESCUE ME. I NEED U SO BAD.
I DONT WANT IT TO BE RANDOMNESS AND POINTLESSNESS. idont understand this. why i be so unloved. why the world so dark and depressing. why i am too paralyzed to write. o Lord i know things could be worse. dont understand the horrific tragedies that happen every day. cant find u in this mess. this muck. WWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAA DONT KNOW THE KIDS DIED IN THAT FIRE WHY THAT PERSON HAD TO BE MURDERED WHY THIS OR THAT TERRIBLE ACCIDENT OR HURRICANE OR EARTHQUAKE OR MURDER OR MASSACRE HAPPENEED. idontknowidontknow. iwant to thrive Lord. i fear the emptiness fear the void of existence. Lord without u im a goner. im so broken. in severe need of repair. CHRIST ALMIGHTY.
LORD I AM NOT WORTHY LORD I AM NOT WORTHY BUT SAY THE WORDS ONLY
I neeed you Jesus. replenish me. let me drink from thy cup. i want to dwell in the house of the Lord now. i wish to never run dry. fill me up with the overwhelming force of the Holy Spirit. shock me back into life let me feel the FIRE OF YOUR PRESENCE. O Lord. grip me. fasten me to your sanctum of strength. i am dried up. athirst. famished. so lonely. so stagnant. crippled.
O Jesus. Heavenly Father. I need a boost. I need a godwink. I need your support your love your enduring presence and almighty power to sustain me. o eternal night when will it vanish when will the light at last find my eyes? Lord help me. Lord awaken me. Lord save me.
Pray for me. Pray for me. Pray for me. I need the healing touch of the Holy Spirit.
IT IS NOT MY INTENTION TO SOUND SHRIEKING DISTRESS ALARMS AND FREAK PEOPLE OUT OR PROVOKE DRAMA OR SOLICIT UNWARRANTED SYMPATHY NOT TRYING TO SPREAD A VILE INFECTIOUS DISEASE OF TOXIC NEGATIVITY MY PRISON IS MY MIND AND BODY I AM SHUT DOWN INSIDE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AND YES BEFORE ANYONE ASKS I ALREADY KNOW I SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION AS WELL AS OTHER ISSUES AND YES I HAVE BEEN IN THERAPY AND YES I ALREADY TAKE MEDS-- 3 OF THEM. i know im intense and hypersensitive and i know these are key reasons why i am repugnant unloved unattractive im not an athlete i cant play sports im dyspraxic severely uncoordinated i am who i am and i am not ashamed of who i am with the gifts the Lord created me with but i wish i werent so unlovable and despicable
I need prayer from any of my loving brothers and sisters out there. Im feeling so lonely, so dead inside, so stuck without anything to fuel me with life energy or reinforce my belief in any hope. no positivity. ive been so ravaged by depression and isolation that it's like everything inside me has dried up. The world is so bleak. I'm the driver of my flatlining life comatose driving lifelessly behind the wheel with no glimmer of light on the horizon just moving pointlessly across a static gray landscape with nothing ahead to look forward to. i cant even do my creative writing. THIS KILLS ME. DESTROYS ME. IT'S AGONY EVERY DAY. i dont know what's wrong with me. how do i get my creative drive back? is it gone forever? has my spirit already been destroyed and all that i am perished just left to rot in this husk of flesk, a vessel without joy without a sense of purpose, detached from everything, alienated from the world.
I DONTWANTTOBETHEDRIVEROFMYLIFE I SUCK AT THIS. GOD PLEASE TAKE CONTROL.
im just drifting. deteriorating. i feel so dead. so worthle$$. i want love. my #1 fear that i will never have it. idontwanttobealoneforever. iwant to quit smoking, been smoking so long and it's so hard to quit but it's so hard to feel motivated when im this lonely unhappy and incapacitated not even able to write. im unloved. maybe unlovable. impossible to imagine a better road ahead. impossible to conceive of the light. impossible to believe i can find love. im 34years old and im a pathetic abysmal failure. im such a wreck. ive screwed up so bad and i will never have what i want. im just a vacant zombie suffering in emptiness. anguished by this unchanging inextricable stranglehood that has sucked me bone dry. im starved of joy and purpose. there's no stimulus.
i want to live life ABUNDANTLY. o Lord Jesus. life feels all randomness and stark solitude. just going nowhere digging myself deeper into nowhere. im nobody buried in a dungheap in the middle of nowhere. LORD HEAR MY PRAYER. ZAP ME BACK ELECTRIFY INTO A FLOURISHING TEEMING GROUNDSWELL OF ENERGY I WANT TO CLING TO YOU LORD AND GLORIFY YOU LORD. MAKE ME AN INSTRUMENT OF YOUR PEACE. LORD PLEASE THE WORLD MY LIFE ALL FEELS STRIPPED OF MEANING A BLANK BARREN PAGE DEVOID OF NARRATIVE OF PURPOSE. im antagonized by the ever present menace of emptiness. i have played with the darkness. sought proof of the spiritual in the occult.
I DONT WANT THE WORLD TO BE RANDOMNESS AND CHANCE NO ESSENTIAL MEANING. I KNOW U SAVED MY LIFE 16 YEARS AGO LORD PLEASE ANCHOR ME LIFT ME UP OUT OF THIS INSUFFERABLE MIRE. RENEW ME LORD. REINVIGORATE ME. RESCUE ME. I NEED U SO BAD.
I DONT WANT IT TO BE RANDOMNESS AND POINTLESSNESS. idont understand this. why i be so unloved. why the world so dark and depressing. why i am too paralyzed to write. o Lord i know things could be worse. dont understand the horrific tragedies that happen every day. cant find u in this mess. this muck. WWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAA DONT KNOW THE KIDS DIED IN THAT FIRE WHY THAT PERSON HAD TO BE MURDERED WHY THIS OR THAT TERRIBLE ACCIDENT OR HURRICANE OR EARTHQUAKE OR MURDER OR MASSACRE HAPPENEED. idontknowidontknow. iwant to thrive Lord. i fear the emptiness fear the void of existence. Lord without u im a goner. im so broken. in severe need of repair. CHRIST ALMIGHTY.
LORD I AM NOT WORTHY LORD I AM NOT WORTHY BUT SAY THE WORDS ONLY
I neeed you Jesus. replenish me. let me drink from thy cup. i want to dwell in the house of the Lord now. i wish to never run dry. fill me up with the overwhelming force of the Holy Spirit. shock me back into life let me feel the FIRE OF YOUR PRESENCE. O Lord. grip me. fasten me to your sanctum of strength. i am dried up. athirst. famished. so lonely. so stagnant. crippled.
O Jesus. Heavenly Father. I need a boost. I need a godwink. I need your support your love your enduring presence and almighty power to sustain me. o eternal night when will it vanish when will the light at last find my eyes? Lord help me. Lord awaken me. Lord save me.
Pray for me. Pray for me. Pray for me. I need the healing touch of the Holy Spirit.
-
1
- Show all
