Once saved, always saved. I'm going through a similar situation myself right now. I was saved about 10 years ago but fell off the grid and stopped pursing a relationship with the Lord. Now, I'm trying to get back on track will all of that and it can definitely be hard to know where to start again or even feel like you can. Just know that the Lord loves you and He wants you back! He has forgiven you for everything and anything that you have done and He knows your heart. Pray daily, be in the Word and try to find people you can talk to. My inbox is always open!