I grew up in a christian family. I;ve attented services in church that taught me about JESUS and how HE saved me. but as i grew to become a lady, i seem to fall apart. i don't understand why, but im not that eager anymore. not that excited. why? but i really want to. i try so hard. and yet i struggle.
i hear testimonies of people even young ones how GOD made changes in their lives, how they met GOD. how awesome it was. and i feel like i don;t have my own experience to share

sometimes i feel like crying out because i know it's what i lack. that im going far from Him.

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im doubting my faith now. i dont even know how thats possible
I've read your post several times and the same question kept coming up in my mind.
And that is, "are you saved?" I read the words, "I was taught". You sound like a person
on the outside, looking in. I can tell you what can help you, if you are saved. But it wont do
you any good if you aren't. But, to be honest, when I read words such as "grew up in", "was
taught", "try so hard", and "hear of others that met God", all in the same post, I wonder if the
individual is playing religion, rather than having a relationship with Jesus. You said you were taught
about Jesus and how He saved you, but have you accepted Him as Lord? That is the one thing
that seems to be missing in your post. I'm not saying you are or aren't saved, that's why I'm
asking, before going to the next step. I have read many posts over the past 20 years.
People usually say, "I was saved..." or "I accepted Jesus...." That is something I'm not seeing
in your post. Your comments seem religion based, rather than relationship based. Help me
out here. Tell me about when you got saved. You would be surprised at the number of
people who go to church and do all the right things, yet be unhappy, because they were
never saved, they never accepted Jesus, they just played religion. I don't want to jump to
conclusions on one post and say "this is the problem."