I'm 20, and have no luck with girls. I've never even kissed a girl. Girls don't like me. I don't even any real friends that are girls.
I'm worried that I have the gift of celbusy. Is there anyway to know if I have it?
- Thread starter dothackzero
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Btw, I have been looking for a girlfriend around 5 years, getting pretty close to 6 years...
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goth4god
Guest
personally I think you worry about it WAY too much! maybe you need to just stop thinking about it and trust God to do what is right, cuz He will. maybe you just need to let go and have faith that God will bring you the right girl when it is the right time. and if He never shows you a girl then you know He has meant for you the gift of celibacy. and if He did, and you just let go and not worry about it, then you didnt waste your life away worrying about it. cuz Worry can't change the future. so just try to let it go and live life for God, cuz you can't do Gods will if you are stuck on something. You can't hear what God has to say if you don't put your faith in Him.
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goth4god
Guest
oh and I have never kissed a guy, only ever been asked out by guy online, never been asked out in person, I have very few guy friends, never gone on a date, but I try not to worry about it cuz I know God has a perfect plan for me! and I have no clue if it involves a guy or not! I guess I'll find out someday!
I know worry can't change the future, but I can't help the worrying part. It's probably also weaking me as a Christian by a lot too.. >_<
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goth4god
Guest
I cant totally relate to you on the worry part. I used to worry a ton! I'm a lot better at not worrying as much, but sometimes it still gets to me. But I just learned that things happen and you can't change it, so why waste time worrying about it? and when I do get really worried over something I pray to God to take away the worry and let things happen according to His plan. Praying really helps!
Celibacy and a gift of sacrifice are different. Celibacy is when your sex drive toward the opposite sex is not there nor awakened. It is like being put into neutral. You have no desire that way toward the opposite sex and no desire for marriage. A gift of sacrifice is when you do have a sex drive but you keep it under control. In both cases you offer your body as a living sacrifice according to (Rom 12:1,2).
Many have taken a vow of celibacy and were not celibate because they had an active sex drive. If they can not or do not keep it under control, it is better that they get married. To make a vow of celibacy when you have an active sex drive is not practical and could lead to problems. If you have a gift of sacrifice, then God will give you the grace you need to remain under control so that you can serve God as a single person. This happens often with missionaries. If you have neither, then it is good to get married. This is the basic difference between the two.
Many have taken a vow of celibacy and were not celibate because they had an active sex drive. If they can not or do not keep it under control, it is better that they get married. To make a vow of celibacy when you have an active sex drive is not practical and could lead to problems. If you have a gift of sacrifice, then God will give you the grace you need to remain under control so that you can serve God as a single person. This happens often with missionaries. If you have neither, then it is good to get married. This is the basic difference between the two.
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Baptistrw
Guest
You're 20, God may intend for you to marry in your 30's or 40's, just relax and don't worry about it. Matthew 6:33...
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Nanatsi
Guest
well i dont think you should feel worried about that im 24 and i have never had a boy friend and i only recently met a christian guy that loves the Lord and also loves me i think you should wait for God time. It is always the best time if you rush you might get a Delilah like Samson did some one who will direct you away from God.
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Leilanii
Guest
So celibacy isnt something i can buy in wal-mart....... you know what they say...... you cant buy it in wally world you dont need it....
Turning 26 on Friday and I've never had a boyfriend or a kiss or anything. I tried looking for a guy for a long time, and then I thought maybe I needed to stop looking and that would be when I'd meet someone, so I tried that and I was wrong 'cause I'm still single. 
Oh, and one of my friends bet me that I'd be married by the time I was 26, so even though I wish she were right, at least I get $50 in a couple days!
Oh, and one of my friends bet me that I'd be married by the time I was 26, so even though I wish she were right, at least I get $50 in a couple days!
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Pineapple
Guest
I'll just go ahead and be honest.
I think the reason why you haven't found anyone yet is because you're actually looking. I'm personally a believer in relationships coming naturally. I think you'll find the right person, within the right time frame, but for now your focus should be on God and learning more about Him, instead of your own needs.
That might have been brutally honest, but I believe it to be true.
I think the reason why you haven't found anyone yet is because you're actually looking. I'm personally a believer in relationships coming naturally. I think you'll find the right person, within the right time frame, but for now your focus should be on God and learning more about Him, instead of your own needs.
That might have been brutally honest, but I believe it to be true.
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glfjb
Guest
dude...i know how it is to have that worry...will i ever find the right person for me...or will i be alone for the rest of my life???
im not saying im perfect...no one is...but i guess what i am trying to say is that i feel for you...becuase i am there too
i am 19 and i havent even had a steady boyfriend....the worst part is i want one really bad
i feel like im doing everything wrong
what ive gotten from other people..e.ven though sometimes i dont want to hear it...
is that you have to be patient...let these things happen
i am not saying im perfect and following this...but im working on it and you should too
i know how it feels to want someone there...but maybe God wants to fill that want with Him...just some thoughts
god bless...and i would love to talk to you more about it....
im not saying im perfect...no one is...but i guess what i am trying to say is that i feel for you...becuase i am there too
i am 19 and i havent even had a steady boyfriend....the worst part is i want one really bad
i feel like im doing everything wrong
what ive gotten from other people..e.ven though sometimes i dont want to hear it...
is that you have to be patient...let these things happen
i am not saying im perfect and following this...but im working on it and you should too
i know how it feels to want someone there...but maybe God wants to fill that want with Him...just some thoughts
god bless...and i would love to talk to you more about it....
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suaso
Guest
Society puts a very large emphasis on two things:
1) YOU HAVE TO HAVE SEX NOW NOW NOW!
2) If you aren't having sex, or if you don't look like you will be in the very near future...then maybe...YOU'RE WIERD!
This, of course, is not true. Sex is a wonderful thing when used in the right context. It is a way in which God has allowed us to share in his creating power. We can not seperate our sexuality from ourselves: it is as much a part of us as eating, sleeping, and breathing except for one difference...we don't have to do it to survive (although I am willing to bet that there have been a billion times where we've felt that if we don't do it...like right now we will die!)
sexuality is unique because it effects who we are psychologically, spiritually, and emotionally - this is so because of our humanity which seperates us from the rest of creation, i.e., we are not just mammals: we are spiritual beings created by God to know God. We are sacred. Our bodies are sacred...a temple the Bible says.
Surely, there ought not be a rush to become sexually active or to worry over it if we haven't gotten a date yet, or if no one is interested. You want to make sure you know what you are getting into in order to do things right for God. 20 year olds today are not like 20 year olds 200 years ago. Adolescence now extends into the 30-year range. Basically, at 20, most American youth are still kids! There's no rush! The average lifespan is something like 75 I think. Life will go on if you don't find a girlfriend even in the next 5 years. Instead, maybe you'll actually find a better quality woman instead of another 20 year old kid! Who knows. God takes care of all things. Don't think he'll give up on you here either.
And, at any rate, I know many celibate men. Celibacy is a gift, not a curse. It is something God gives those men and women he chooses the grace to do. Being celibate doesen't make anyone not want sex ever again, it simply means that they are willing to go without that type of intamacy in order to turn their entire lives over to a living, 24/7 prayer to God. It is not the life for everyone. Those who are called to celibacy still struggle with it, but they rely on God's grace to carry them on.
Celibacy or the married life, we are all called to a life of chastity. So no matter where you end up, always keep that in mind.
1) YOU HAVE TO HAVE SEX NOW NOW NOW!
2) If you aren't having sex, or if you don't look like you will be in the very near future...then maybe...YOU'RE WIERD!
This, of course, is not true. Sex is a wonderful thing when used in the right context. It is a way in which God has allowed us to share in his creating power. We can not seperate our sexuality from ourselves: it is as much a part of us as eating, sleeping, and breathing except for one difference...we don't have to do it to survive (although I am willing to bet that there have been a billion times where we've felt that if we don't do it...like right now we will die!)
sexuality is unique because it effects who we are psychologically, spiritually, and emotionally - this is so because of our humanity which seperates us from the rest of creation, i.e., we are not just mammals: we are spiritual beings created by God to know God. We are sacred. Our bodies are sacred...a temple the Bible says.
Surely, there ought not be a rush to become sexually active or to worry over it if we haven't gotten a date yet, or if no one is interested. You want to make sure you know what you are getting into in order to do things right for God. 20 year olds today are not like 20 year olds 200 years ago. Adolescence now extends into the 30-year range. Basically, at 20, most American youth are still kids! There's no rush! The average lifespan is something like 75 I think. Life will go on if you don't find a girlfriend even in the next 5 years. Instead, maybe you'll actually find a better quality woman instead of another 20 year old kid! Who knows. God takes care of all things. Don't think he'll give up on you here either.
And, at any rate, I know many celibate men. Celibacy is a gift, not a curse. It is something God gives those men and women he chooses the grace to do. Being celibate doesen't make anyone not want sex ever again, it simply means that they are willing to go without that type of intamacy in order to turn their entire lives over to a living, 24/7 prayer to God. It is not the life for everyone. Those who are called to celibacy still struggle with it, but they rely on God's grace to carry them on.
Celibacy or the married life, we are all called to a life of chastity. So no matter where you end up, always keep that in mind.
K
Katepillar
Guest
I thought celibisy had to do with being content with being single. Not just being single forever.
There's a difference. Be patient. Everything happens in God's time. It'll be worth the wait.
There's a difference. Be patient. Everything happens in God's time. It'll be worth the wait.
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Raeshelle
Guest
I agree with Merry, I never seen Celibacy listed as one of the gifts of the spirit.. And yes you are young enjoy your youth, don't be in a big hurry to settle down..Celibacy is not a gift. Its a state you choose to live in. Sounds like you don't want this for your life, so just be patient. I would recommend to be a friend where ever you worship or go to school.. Enjoy your youth man!
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suaso
Guest
I just thought it was a gift myself:
"But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: For there are eunuchs who were born thus fromtheir mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.” (Matthew 19:11-12)
"For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.
But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion." (1 Coronthians 7:7-9)
Revelation 14:4 also mentions celibates in heaven. Basically, Matthew records Jesus as mentioning that some are given the gift of celibacy, and that if they can accept that gift, then they ought to accept it. If they can not accept that gift, then there is no sense in pursuing it and risking sin by breaking that practice later. In Paul's letter to the Corinthians he mentions that he himself is celibate and that he advises widows and the unmarried to follow his example if they can. It is a discipline that requires the gift of God's grace to endure for the Kingdom. That calling to that discipline is a gift itself, and it is not given to many.
I believe I am called to a celibate life myself, and I have no problem with it. I thank God that I'll likely not have to deal with boyfriend drama haha. Dothackzero, just because you aren't having the best results in the dating game now doesn't mean you're called to a life a celibacy. It just means you are like many, many other young people who are confused because popular society says you ought to be over-sexed like "everyone else," but the reality of the situation seems to indicate other wise. Just hang in there. If you are meant to have a girlfriend and eventually a wife, she's out there, and God will make sure you two meet when the time is right. It's all on his time, and we can only accept or decline what he offers to us in life when he chooses to do so.
"But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: For there are eunuchs who were born thus fromtheir mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.” (Matthew 19:11-12)
"For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.
But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion." (1 Coronthians 7:7-9)
Revelation 14:4 also mentions celibates in heaven. Basically, Matthew records Jesus as mentioning that some are given the gift of celibacy, and that if they can accept that gift, then they ought to accept it. If they can not accept that gift, then there is no sense in pursuing it and risking sin by breaking that practice later. In Paul's letter to the Corinthians he mentions that he himself is celibate and that he advises widows and the unmarried to follow his example if they can. It is a discipline that requires the gift of God's grace to endure for the Kingdom. That calling to that discipline is a gift itself, and it is not given to many.
I believe I am called to a celibate life myself, and I have no problem with it. I thank God that I'll likely not have to deal with boyfriend drama haha. Dothackzero, just because you aren't having the best results in the dating game now doesn't mean you're called to a life a celibacy. It just means you are like many, many other young people who are confused because popular society says you ought to be over-sexed like "everyone else," but the reality of the situation seems to indicate other wise. Just hang in there. If you are meant to have a girlfriend and eventually a wife, she's out there, and God will make sure you two meet when the time is right. It's all on his time, and we can only accept or decline what he offers to us in life when he chooses to do so.
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Narn
Guest
So you have been looking for a girlfriend since you started highschool and now you are 20 and since you know everything there is to know in the world, you have come to the conclusion that you are never gonna get married or even date?
(I'm 20 and never really had luck with girls or kissed a girl)
A gift isn't a gift if you don't accept it and if its the Lords will for you to single you will be fine with that because thats what the Lord wants. Right now it appears that the Lord wants you to be single, so be content get involved at church maybe you will meet somewhere there in a few years never know what God may have in store for you.
- From me another guy where you are