H
Hopeinheaven
Guest
God had shaped and planned everything with Jesus beside Him His great Architect and Blueprint...Big Bang? maybe! God spoke into nothingness and created light and created and created continually He rested but still continually creates anew...God has made all things new...imperfect as we were from the fall in the garden of Eden we were still wonderfully and fearfully made in Gods image...sending His Son was a healing mending restoration...when i was younger a "little kid" if i fell down i got bruises and cuts and it hurt but i loved the way it felt to heal...healing is life giving it is strengthening...i wouldnt purposely get hurt to feel the healing but i wonder if sometimes now how the healing process works...often times i feel hurt and i dont feel like i am healing or mending or being restored i often feel alone and shattered and beat down...i dont feel any strength or life filling me just a yucky achy i am alone in this feeling and a hopeless disappointment my memory is getting so bad and i am losing all my optimistic thoughts and feel like God has pushed me out and shut the door...i get so angry and sad and scared...self sabotage kicks in...hey may as well kill myself before someone else gets the job done first...i really feel like ive been left to my own devices...i read and pray but i feel stollen from as though the enemy stole everything away from me and locked me up in bondage and yet these invisible chains laugh at me because all my brothers n sisters in Christ say im free yet im chained up so tight i cant break myself free i cant get through to God...there is a strong oppression thats stops me from breakthrough...yet God makes everything beautiful in time...and in imperfections God has a perfect plan...i may b nothing...but look at what God does with nothingness...i hope He does something with me soon n i hope its not disappointing