Is being single almost the perfect peace?

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Lovette said:
One pastor once said it's better to be single and desiring relationship than being in a relationship desiring to be single. Marriage, relationship and family are worldly pursuits, they don't exist in the afterlife.
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As Jesus often pointed out, but many people like to ignore what Jesus said.
 
Edith said:
Hi serenity dear, don't worry one of these days you will meet someone fantastic with whom you will enjoy the life in Christ.
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If it comes around then that is okay, if not it’s not gods will. But thanks Edith I appreciate the wishful thinking
 
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Lanolin said:
True dat.

It's why education, or reading the Bible from cover to cover, is important.
Some Bibles even have the words of Christ highlighted in RED so it's not like people could miss it.
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The bible is sufficient but NOT exhaustive, we still need godly wisdom to discern various topics and challenges that are not covered in the bible, such as modern dating, the only remotely relevant advise from Jesus is that singleness is a gift, he who accept it, let him accept it. Up until the progressive era in the early 20th century, marriage was mostly arranged or semi-arranged, even if it was not arranged there were a lot of social events to meet potential mates such as balls and clubs, couples also brought in dowries as start up investment. None of these exist now.
 
Lovette said:
The bible is sufficient but NOT exhaustive, we still need godly wisdom to discern various topics and challenges that are not covered in the bible, such as modern dating, the only remotely relevant advise from Jesus is that singleness is a gift, he who accept it, let him accept it. Up until the progressive era in the early 20th century, marriage was mostly arranged or semi-arranged, even if it was not arranged there were a lot of social events to meet potential mates such as balls and clubs, couples also brought in dowries as start up investment. None of these exist now.
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Yea they had things like 'Sock hops' which were dances held in high school gyms, where the young teenyboppers danced in their socks.
This was to stop them ruining the wooden floors.

That generation were encouraged to date, start families and have children because it was post war and they needed to repopulate the earth..and housing was cheap, jobs were plentiful. Hence baby boomers.

It is a COMPLETELY different world these days. I grew up in a time when AIDS was a threat and going rampant. at high school the teachers encouraged us to have 'safe sex', we were never taught marriage or homemaking skills. Parenting, we had Plunket nurses but that was kind of it. Babies died of cot death, until they found the cause (toxic mattresses and suffocation)
The threat of the apocalapyse was engrained in a lot of peoples minds, Y2K, end times hysteria. Youth had no future, no jobs, and little prospects. You went into debt to have higher education. And then left the country to avoid paying it.
 
Lanolin said:
Yea they had things like 'Sock hops' which were dances held in high school gyms, where the young teenyboppers danced in their socks.
This was to stop them ruining the wooden floors.

That generation were encouraged to date, start families and have children because it was post war and they needed to repopulate the earth..and housing was cheap, jobs were plentiful. Hence baby boomers.

It is a COMPLETELY different world these days. I grew up in a time when AIDS was a threat and going rampant. at high school the teachers encouraged us to have 'safe sex', we were never taught marriage or homemaking skills. Parenting, we had Plunket nurses but that was kind of it. Babies died of cot death, until they found the cause (toxic mattresses and suffocation)
The threat of the apocalapyse was engrained in a lot of peoples minds, Y2K, end times hysteria. Youth had no future, no jobs, and little prospects. You went into debt to have higher education. And then left the country to avoid paying it.
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I don't know much about generations before, but in the current era, any encouragement to date, start families and have children could be interpreted as a scam to perpetuate the ponzi economy. What that means is that the current economic model is like a pyramid scheme built on the premise of perpetual population growth and/or immigration, the big businesses are always hungry for new markets, new users, new subscribers. When there's not enough people at the bottom to feed this model, it will collapse. So when you hear the sensational rhetorics such as "humans are gonna go extinct" "population collapse" "not much time left", that's all fear mongering.
 
Lovette said:
I don't know much about generations before, but in the current era, any encouragement to date, start families and have children could be interpreted as a scam to perpetuate the ponzi economy. What that means is that the current economic model is like a pyramid scheme built on the premise of perpetual population growth and/or immigration, the big businesses are always hungry for new markets, new users, new subscribers. When there's not enough people at the bottom to feed this model, it will collapse. So when you hear the sensational rhetorics such as "humans are gonna go extinct" "population collapse" "not much time left", that's all fear mongering.
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Arrgh. We are not humans. We are 'consumers'.
 
SearchingforSerenity said:
I am a father and my daughter’s mother is a great mom. Our incompatible through god and many other things was bound sooner or later to destroy us, which it did. But a friendship remains. During the time and after this I have truly accepted that I must be a father first and only concern my life with that purpose unless someone god planted right in front of me came along. However know one in my 32 years every came along that even really wanted to think about church or god. Maybe over two. So I’ve made it my best effort to stay single and focus on god and my daughter. I do yearn for that intimacy and connection but refrain now from sex and anything that leads me to a path of self destruction. I’ve found at the end of the day, when I get lonely , I can pray to god and he gives me comfort. Does anyone find it hard to find someone truly interested and willing to live gods path? Or find it hard to stay single by choice? Im coming more at peace with it. Although many days still come up with loneliness and regrets from my past.
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Recently I considering the fact that the husbands are supposed to be the leaders. Therefore single women may not have a godly leader in their life. Perhaps the godly woman most of us seek has to be patently molded rather than found. Maybe it’s less about where they currently are and more about what they are willing learn.

FYI- Being unable to secure a suitable mate is not the virtue many pretend it is.
 
Levib said:
Recently I considering the fact that the husbands are supposed to be the leaders. Therefore single women may not have a godly leader in their life. Perhaps the godly woman most of us seek has to be patently molded rather than found. Maybe it’s less about where they currently are and more about what they are willing learn.

FYI- Being unable to secure a suitable mate is not the virtue many pretend it is.
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Yes I agree. But also one must be willing. And you can’t force anyone to do anything. I’ve went down that path with an open mind. God forgives and we all do bad. So yes it is about where you end. The most important part to anyone is how willing are they to make good changes.
 
SearchingforSerenity said:
Yes I agree. But also one must be willing. And you can’t force anyone to do anything. I’ve went down that path with an open mind. God forgives and we all do bad. So yes it is about where you end. The most important part to anyone is how willing are they to make good changes.
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Er isn't that meant to be Jesus. The 'Godly Leader'
 
Or their own dad.
Women are not the same as girls, and aren't going to be 'molded' anymore. Women are adults who actually CAN make their own choices.
 
Lanolin that’s not what was meant when LeviB said molded. I think it was more meant by meaning don’t write anyone off. Don’t think a person who’s more god fearing that particular day is better then one who may change there life. Look at Mary Magdalene. I think the statement was meant to say anyone can change for the better. A man may lead but everyone should follow Christ first. It’s wasn’t meant for man to dictate a woman.
 
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SearchingforSerenity said:
Lanolin that’s not what was meant when LeviB said molded. I think it was more meant by meaning don’t write anyone off. Don’t think a person who’s more god fearing that particular day is better then one who may change there life. Look at Mary Magdalene. I think the statement was meant to say anyone can change for the better. A man may lead but everyone should follow Christ first. It’s wasn’t meant for man to dictate a woman.
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Oh ok
that's cool then.
I just know of other christians who had the mindset that the men/husbands meant to be leaders and the women/wives are to follow the men, to the point the wives were being controlled on their every move. But that's just in those christian sects/cults that make it into a doctrine.

God is the potter, we are the clay. Husbands are not the potters of their wives. That's God's job via the Holy Spirit.
 
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It's not to say iron can't sharpen iron.

Just that its hurtful for others to cut each other down, which happens with a lot of toxic relationships.
Pruning needs to be done for growth, at the right time and not indiscriminatingly hacking away until nothing is left. I know I'm a gardener...
 
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SearchingforSerenity said:
Lanolin that’s not what was meant when LeviB said molded. I think it was more meant by meaning don’t write anyone off. Don’t think a person who’s more god fearing that particular day is better then one who may change there life. Look at Mary Magdalene. I think the statement was meant to say anyone can change for the better. A man may lead but everyone should follow Christ first. It’s wasn’t meant for man to dictate a woman.
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I appreciate what you're saying and I agree with your sentiments but I'm curious if that is what @Levib meant as well.
 
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Oh my

have I set the cat among the pigeons, or let them out of a bag?
Please don't let it be like those Gloriavale/IFB churches that are actual cults and hurt a lot of women.

I might discuss these in another thread, don't mean to be controversial and certainly people can and do interpret the Bible in different ways. If you've ever been born again or became a christian later in life you probably have the experience of saying well I'm a Christian, but I'm not like THOSE Christians, who aren't Christians but pretend to be. I am more Christian than the Christians!

lol

Seriously, sometimes its cool to be a Christian but often it's not because...other Christians.
 
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