Is it a sin to live with my boyfriend

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Depleted said:
Next time, just add you only want to hear agreement. It's quicker for many of us.

And you just proved the point on who is doing the arguing.

Do what you will. I know other ways to stop what you're going through, but obviously you're going to do what you will anyway and then blame it on why people become atheists.
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I'm replying to your answer just like you've just replied to mine. Hardly arguing? - and no most people on here have said it's pretty much a sin and answered the question with a much nicer approach. You should take note cos it will help in the future. You don't see me telling each person "no you're wrong". I've taken every answer on board and I'm greatful for all of them. Even where the girl asked wether I was really doing all I could to honor my parents. Made me think. Notice she put it a nice way and asked. Didn't just assume and put the blame on me.

I asked for guidance and people have done just that, I don't like the way you started pointing fingers straight away. I wasn't asking for a telling off or to be told about myself. It was pretty simple what I asked. If you can't answer you didn't need to post on here.
 
tourist said:
You asked for an answer on whether or not it is a sin to have pre-marital sex and several were gracious enough to respond and then you are critical of those you don't agree with. Who is forcing you to get married? Who really cares about the expectations of 'people' towards a newly married couple having children and worry about whether or not they are happy? I agree with you that you that there are things that you need to do before getting married.
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90% think it's a sin. I've replied to one or two post which I found rude. How is that replying to the ones I don't agree with? When most of the post say it's a sin? - and also that was not the question I asked.
 
Thanks to all who have answered. Asked for a bit of guidance and that's exactly what I got from most of you as this was something I was confused with :)


My boyfriend currently lives with roommates. I know a few people that have gone to a Christian uni and got together (boyfriend/girlfriend) whilst living in the same house. Would one of them then have to move out? Because they shouldn't be living in the same place unless married?
 
Luminous said:
Thanks a lot for giving a thought to my post Demi777. As I said previously, staying with someone is not defiling in itself, however in the case above, the duo are going to be really tempted being around each other. They are not just some sort of research partners with no feelings for each other going about picking up plants. These people have a romantic or sexual attraction towards each other. A question for her would be does her boyfriend live alone or with his parents and siblings? In the first case, oh no it is'nt advisable. For the second, a thought can be given. Remember how Paul warned the Corinthian brethren against immorality. They believed in Jesus but 'the human body is the human body' so one must put it under the Spirit's control. You don't put a fish in water and tell it not to swim. By the way, the idea of a lady who is not ready to get married yet having a boyfriend is strange to scripture. I mean, is it not the dictionary definition of 'boyfriend' I know? I was responding to the question as though they were engaged to be married. If 'boyfriend' in your country has a different meaning that makes it suitable for saints in your country to have boyfriends please help me understand. God bless you. Amen.
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I dont care about saints. Paul himself was married aswell. Plus sexual attraction is NORMAL. God bless you
 
Sophia95 said:
Thanks to all who have answered. Asked for a bit of guidance and that's exactly what I got from most of you as this was something I was confused with :)


My boyfriend currently lives with roommates. I know a few people that have gone to a Christian uni and got together (boyfriend/girlfriend) whilst living in the same house. Would one of them then have to move out? Because they shouldn't be living in the same place unless married?
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No with roommates it's no problem, well, unless they can't handle that, but I saw that here too. They even married and lived in one room then there with roommates.
 
Demi777 said:
I dont care about saints. Paul himself was married aswell. Plus sexual attraction is NORMAL. God bless you
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Dear Demi777, the Paul in scripture was not married. In addition, where you serious when you said you don't care about saints? Well, the scriptures in a large part are written to saints, check Ephesians 1:1, Galatians 1:1, Philippians 1:1, etc. So, anyone who is born of God is called to live a saintly life.

Sexual attraction is normal, that's correct, but God has laid principles of Love and the Fear of God to guide us. So please, I suggest that you reevaluate you perspective. God bless you. Amen.
 
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Sophia95 said:
Having trouble at home. It's so tough living with my parents. Can't buy anything for myself without anyone getting involved in my finances and constant arguments and my mum is ALWAYS shouting. It's all really putting me down, so my boyfriend has offered that I move in with him. But I want to please God above anyone or anything. Would I be sinning by living with him? If we're not having sex. I pretty much spend most of my time with him anyway and we've done well in resisting temptation. No I don't want to get married just yet I'm only 21! ... If it is a sin, where does it state so in the bible? - (btw I'm aware it says I'm male on here. Before people start getting offended and pointing the finger as usual, I've done everything to change it, emailed admin and still nothing)
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You know Christ message about relationships is one of the hardest things to understand in the word. However, it is so worth it to make sure you understand it completely before rushing in to anything. The word does, however, speak against living together which is called chambering in the King James version
 
Sophia95 said:
Having trouble at home. It's so tough living with my parents. Can't buy anything for myself without anyone getting involved in my finances and constant arguments and my mum is ALWAYS shouting. It's all really putting me down, so my boyfriend has offered that I move in with him. But I want to please God above anyone or anything. Would I be sinning by living with him? If we're not having sex. I pretty much spend most of my time with him anyway and we've done well in resisting temptation. No I don't want to get married just yet I'm only 21! ... If it is a sin, where does it state so in the bible? - (btw I'm aware it says I'm male on here. Before people start getting offended and pointing the finger as usual, I've done everything to change it, emailed admin and still nothing)
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Yeah, living with someone you love romantically before marriage is not a good idea. It's a ticking time bomb. And I'm pretty sure it officially falls under the category of one of the oldest tricks in Satan's book. If you want your life to be uncomplicated and have less regret you'll choose another option. Regrettably so. Sorry, Sophia.
 
Hi Sophia,

it sounds like your problems aren't with your boyfriend but are with
your parents.


As long as you are paying your way in the household, then if your
parents get into financial difficulty so much so, that they are borrowing money
from you and causing you to max out your credit cards - then that is really bad
for both them and you. It's not a good to start adult life for you with lots of debt.

You all need to sit down together as adults and try to sort out your finances.
The link below might also be able to help sorting out finances. They can help
you all with money management and debt councilling.


https://capuk.org


If the problems persist then the only option is for you to work and start saving up
to enable you to move and and get your own place.


As far as your boyfriend goes, you seem to be sensible and want to take things
slowly, that's good. But moving in with him will probably speed things up far
quicker than you want and could lead to sex, pregnancy, raising kids whether
you are ready for that or not.

So if you can't sort things out with your parents, that leaves the option of moving
out to your own place, or a flat share with other people.
 
Moving in with him it would pretty much be a 100% guaranteed sex situation you'd be putting yourself in. That's why you really don't want to do that. If being at home is so terrible and there is nothing you can do to help your situation then i suppose it's kind of out of need to move. Just make sure it's not just because secretly you really do want to live with him and your making excuses in your mind as to why you should. Like I said living together is pretty much going to guarantee sex that's just how it is. Hopefully you can come up with a different alternative. Pray about this situation.
 
I think it's good that she don't have her head in the clouds about moving in with her boyfriend and thinking she will be able to resist temptation. It's nearly impossible and that's why everyone knows that its a bad idea. Now if that doesn't bother them or if she's not that worried about it then that's her choice. We do have plenty of temptation in this world so when there's an obvious "red flag" sign we should steer clear because in the end that's just the smart thing to do.
 
Believe me, I understand the struggle. You're not a kid anymore, so dealing with your mom telling you what to do can be a real pain. Your brain is in adult mode now, which results independent thinking and a desire to be the boss of your own life.
Now, just being straight up here. Living with your boyfriend is a sin, indirectly. I know you guys have been around each other and have successfully avoided giving in to certain.. ahem- Desires. There's a difference in spending loads of time together and living together. 24/7 temptation is going to wear you down, fast.
Second, if you aren't ready to marry this guy, regardless of the reasoning, you should definitely not be living with him. You're an adult, girl! Time to get your own place. My impression is you may be a bit apprehensive to move out on your own? Understandable. It can be scary for sure, but do not move in with this guy just because you want to be away from beneath your mother's wing and you're afraid you can't do it alone. The roommate idea could alleviate that. Fear is not a reason to move in with him. Arguing and disagreeing with your mother is not a reason to move in with him.

Love. That's the only reason.

Not only do I say that from a Christian standpoint, but just as someone who has a little experience in this area. It'll lead to troubled waters, especially if you're not ready. Moving in is a HUGE deal, and if you don't talk it out, think it through, get on the same page with your partner, whew. You think you got it bad with your mom? Talk about a nightmare x10000.
 
Luminous said:
Dear Demi777, the Paul in scripture was not married. In addition, where you serious when you said you don't care about saints? Well, the scriptures in a large part are written to saints, check Ephesians 1:1, Galatians 1:1, Philippians 1:1, etc. So, anyone who is born of God is called to live a saintly life.

Sexual attraction is normal, that's correct, but God has laid principles of Love and the Fear of God to guide us. So please, I suggest that you reevaluate you perspective. God bless you. Amen.
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But I will not make the saint stuff a Cult like living. I willnot praise or worship a saint. A saint is just as human as you and me so yea I do not give a dime about saints. they may have good righteous things to say and at times their wisdom is good to check out but thats all because I put Jesus and God first. Its rare that when I say something i am not serious.
 
Demi777 said:
But I will not make the saint stuff a Cult like living. I willnot praise or worship a saint. A saint is just as human as you and me so yea I do not give a dime about saints. they may have good righteous things to say and at times their wisdom is good to check out but thats all because I put Jesus and God first. Its rare that when I say something i am not serious.
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Thanks for replying Demi777. The point my friend is that YOU ARE A SAINT IF YOU ARE FOLLOWING JESUS (and this is irrespective of your age)!!! And yes, only Jesus is to be worshiped. I wish I understood what you meant by cult-like living, but I do not have enough information from your reply to address that. Okay, I understand that you were serious in making the statement. Lord Jesus is first and when we follow His leading, we will always walk in the Love and Fear of God. God bless you. Amen.
 
Luminous said:
Thanks for replying Demi777. The point my friend is that YOU ARE A SAINT IF YOU ARE FOLLOWING JESUS (and this is irrespective of your age)!!! And yes, only Jesus is to be worshiped. I wish I understood what you meant by cult-like living, but I do not have enough information from your reply to address that. Okay, I understand that you were serious in making the statement. Lord Jesus is first and when we follow His leading, we will always walk in the Love and Fear of God. God bless you. Amen.
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With the cult like livig i mant this " saint statues everywhere and praying to saints'' things people do and say here that I am completely against. Theres people here that rather believe what a ''Saint'' againt gardening said how you should live than Jesus. So when people talk to me and the word saints falls I go mad. For me a follower of christ is a Christian and depending of the gift they are a prophet,teacher,minister,.... that is sanctified by the blood but I will not call myself or anyone else a saint. We should live a Saintly life yes but that doesnt make us a Saint. I dont see us as holy I see us as sanctified because only God is Holy and we have a body that isny holy, we live in a world that isnt holy and we make mistakes.
 
Demi777 said:
With the cult like livig i mant this " saint statues everywhere and praying to saints'' things people do and say here that I am completely against. Theres people here that rather believe what a ''Saint'' againt gardening said how you should live than Jesus. So when people talk to me and the word saints falls I go mad. For me a follower of christ is a Christian and depending of the gift they are a prophet,teacher,minister,.... that is sanctified by the blood but I will not call myself or anyone else a saint. We should live a Saintly life yes but that doesnt make us a Saint. I dont see us as holy I see us as sanctified because only God is Holy and we have a body that isny holy, we live in a world that isnt holy and we make mistakes.
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Its lovely to hear from you again Demi777. I believe I understand your points. I also hope you understand what I mean by 'saints'. LORD JESUS AND HIS APOSTLES CALLED CHRISTAINS WHO WERE STILL ALIVE ON EARTH 'SAINTS'. WE SHOULD ACCEPT IT AND LIVE THAT WAY.

The scriptures say that God is Holy, and God tells us that we a "...Royal Priesthood, an HOLY NATION, a Perculiar People...". Do you know that God said in scriptures "...be HOLY because I, the LORD YOUR GOD AM HOLY?" God will not tell us to be HOLY if He knows we cannot be Holy. IN FACT, IT IS GOD WHO MAKES US HOLY.

So, I encourage you Dear Friend, search the scriptures and you will see what God wants for us...HOLINESS is God's plan for us.
 
Maybe try asking (girl) friends or family members if you can stay with them instead? Maybe even someone from church? A possible way to make this happen (if you have little or no money), is to: offer to baby sit, do housework, walk the dog, mow the lawn... Don't forget to pray about it. Sometimes God puts you through trials to bring about a specific quality that he wants you to develop. In the end it is entirely up to you. Just remember, emotions are strong things and we can't always get a grip on them. Peace out.
 
It is not a sin in and of itself. The idea is that it brings people closer to temptation (i.e. sin of fornication).
 
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