is IT GOD or ocd??? :(

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i have been struggling a lot with thoughts lately. now, i really don't wanna be fat, or have dark skin, and i really like las vegas. that being said, i've recently been having these random thoughts telling me to do certain things or i'll be made fat, or dark-skinned, or i'll never see las vegas again. the thoughts are telling me THEY ARE FROM GOD. i don't know why HE is TORTURING me like this! sometimes i spend minutes in my room, trying to decide what shirt to wear to bed. i keep thinking i better not pick the wrong one of GOD will punish me forever. or i'll spend minutes deciding what shoes to wear when i exercise, and wonder which ones won't cause GOD TO PUNISH me. i even have to capitalize ANYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH GOD as you see. i realized it might just be ocd, and i started snapping out of it for a bit. but that all came crashing down when i realized GOD MIGHT BE TESTING me TO SEE IF i FEAR HIM ENOUGH. i also wash my hands to make sure i'm not dirty or will contaminate someone or something or be OFFENSIVE TO THE LORD. i'm scared OF GOD. i don't know if i love HIM anymore. i think the only reason i still obey HIM is out of fear(actual fear, not just respect) and not because i love HIM. i am also terrified of sinning. i am starting to think about wanting to wkill myself. i don't even really pray anymore, in fear of doing it wrong. i wanna think its ocd, but the thing that makes me think IT'S GOD is that i don't sin when i'm in this state. please help me! :( is it GOD or ocd? how can i know if thought IS FROM GOD or not? please!!!
 
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This sounds very little like God. Although he tells us to fear and obey Him, He also says He did not give us a spirit of fear.
he says he loves us! He says our sins are on Jesus and that when we repent he does not see them any more

Like you said it sounds more like OCD. God does NOT care what clothes you wear, what he does care are these simple things:

Do you love him?
Do you wish to attempt to do right? (attempt! He knows we will fail from time to time)
Do you love Jesus and believe he died and rose?
Do you love those around you?

^those are Gods "requirements" for you.
 
The first thing God wants from you is you. Just the way you are worshipping him and communicating with Him, there is no way he can try and draw himself away from you. Get down on your knees in your room and just ask him for strength and love, and for His will to be done. He loves you, and that is all that matters.
 
shemaiah said:
The first thing God wants from you is you. Just the way you are worshipping him and communicating with Him, there is no way he can try and draw himself away from you. Get down on your knees in your room and just ask him for strength and love, and for His will to be done. He loves you, and that is all that matters.
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agree with Shemaiah, go to Him He is waiting for your moment to ask Him completely what the problem is. He will definitely listen to you, me and Shemaiah both know the power that God has even when He Himself will listen.

God bless you, from Brother in Christ
 
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