Is it ok for Christian Men to be in ministry to immodest women?

[Edify]

The bottom line is... everyone's different.
A man/woman could have been brought up on the back side of the tracks & raised to love sex & become a sex addict.
Years later, He/she get's saved & grows into a very mature believer.
But... an addict is an addict. That person has a weakness they may have to fight the rest of their lives. A dopamine addiction.
All of us are somewhere between the addict & the near perfect christian. Because of these "differences", our reactions will be different.
Knowing that weaknesses abound, we shouldn't look "as if" we might be looking for the wrong reason, neither should we "show it off" as to get attention of the opposite sex because of possible weaknesses.
The one thing Jesus was always about was 'OTHERS'. Yet many christians act/walk as if there are no others or only people like themselves.
Some of us have weaknesses, some of us have thorns in our flesh.
"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy".

 

[CarriePie]

"I only have eyes for you"

Love this song! One of my favorites. Sha bop sha bop

The fact of the matter that even before marriage guarding your heart and mind is essential for future devotion in marriage.

I think this is key.

 

[Susanna]

I don’t get this. So just to clarify, would you be ok with your man looking lustfully at other women?

I have been a widow for almost two decades so I’m not in the best position to offer any advice on this. Secondly, I think the word “lustfully” means something else than the words not “making a covenant with their eyes”.

Thing is, you see, I don’t want to spend my time supervising anyone’s eyes. I would be more concerned if he was attracted to her emotionally.

 

[ResidentAlien]

There are plenty of non-Christian women who won't tolerate their man gawking at other women; so it's not just a Christian thing. It's pretty disrespectful.

A man might be perfectly okay with just looking at a pretty woman and appreciating her beauty; but if it makes his girlfriend or wife uncomfortable he shouldn't do it, period. As Christians we should strive to do what is best for the other person. On the other hand, no man likes a nagging wife or girlfriend. If they love each other they would hopefully be able to communicate and resolve the situation.

 

[hornetguy]

Everyone seems to want to take this to the extreme... gawking, etc... I was talking about the simple observation of another human being that is attractive. I've seen guys that I thought were attractive... does that mean I want to have gay sex with them? Of course not. I've seen many women in my life that I thought were very attractive.. I don't want to have sex with them, I simply appreciate the fact that they are attractive human beings.

I would not want to be married to a man who chooses to appreciate the beauty of other women.

Then, by all means, you should not marry any such man. Good luck finding ANY man like that, though. Or, you could invest in some blinders, just to be sure....


the problem with that is that it is not adressing the real problem.... our THOUGHTS. With proper spiritual discipline, we should be able to "see" an attractive person, and NOT think lustful thoughts.

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; 28 but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Jesus was trying to teach us principles, not laws.... we are to strive to train ourselves spiritually to NOT do the "natural man" things.... If someone mistreats us, we might not want to kill them, but we certainly might think harmful thoughts about them.... Jesus said, if you can't learn the principle of controlling your thoughts, you are just as bad as the person that kills the offender.

It's about spiritual control of thoughts....

 

[ResidentAlien]

Everyone seems to want to take this to the extreme... gawking, etc...

I said "gawking" because that's how many of the women I've talked to about it perceive it. I don't know if it's "extreme" or not.

 

[hornetguy]

I said "gawking" because that's how many of the women I've talked to about it perceive it. I don't know if it's "extreme" or not.

I didn't intend to single out your comment.... others seem to think that a simple observation of another human being immediately turns into a constant seeking out, looking for, uncontrolled, constant leering at the opposite sex.
If we, as believers, cannot simply observe another human being without thinking lustful thoughts, then we are not tuned in with what Jesus wants in our spiritual lives. We are to be able to function in this world without becoming "of" this world. We act/react differently from the "natural man"....

Each of us has our own weaknesses, and special temtations.... if a person is tempted beyond control with alcohol, I would strongly recommend they do not get a job in a bar. Someone with strong sexual urges should not place themselves in a situation with unfettered, un "chaperoned" access to the opposite sex. But, for believers without a particular hangup, we should be able to live in the world without panicking every time a temptation crosses our path....
I could work as an unsupervised bank teller, because I have zero temptation to steal... it's just not a temptation for me.

We should be aware of our flaws/weaknesses, and live our lives accordingly.

 

[Gojira]

Ultimately, women should be ministering to women regardless of their modesty.

Ya know, hard to argue with this. I know of a married pastor who was seduced by a woman he was counseling. I'd never do that myself.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

If preaching the Gospel in a particular environment is likely to stumble someone into sin then they shouldn’t preach in that environment; there are certain environments where it would be right for women specifically to do this work.

There are multiple roles that spiritual women should fill as to their abilities, gifts and qualifications.
Maybe someone already posted this passage and I missed it.

Titus 2:4

1But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: 2That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. 3The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

This is a key passage that I thought every decent pastor would be familiar with and eventually get around to teaching.
I was under the leadership of a pastor or two that never did though. One in particular was constantly diagraming Greek sentences
, It was like he was counting rings on a tree, but overlooking the forest.

His own marriage suffered, then ended in divorce. He continued pastoring and I learned of it, but mistakenly continued attending. He was disqualified from the position by the Scriptures and I should have considered that more. That led to an extremely serious trend in the church that I attended. Couples began taking their own marriages too lightly, following example. It was hard for some to even agree with the basic concepts of this passage because the pastor refused to address it as he refused to teach on the permanence of marriage, to use one example.

The women, who are qualified, are to teach the younger women these foundations for Christian family. That's a tremendous responsibility in order to have a strong secure generation.

I think that there's an over simplistic idea of gender roles. The fact is that most men are not qualified to pastor, but they are qualified to teach or preach the gospel.....IF they are saved. If not, then they need a qualified believer to teach/ preach the gospel to them. There are then other qualifications.

As far as appropriate teachers of younger women, there needs to be spiritual women who have loving families, sound in the faith, not gossips or false accusors, etc.
Those weren't in some churches I attended and that was obvious from the younger women, and men as well in too many cases.

So, I would agree that those women meeting the qualifications of Titus 2 should fill those roles.