Is it wrong that I'm looking for a girl like this?

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dothackzero

dothackzero

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May 4, 2009
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Basiclly, I'm asking is it okay to not want or want a girlfriend/boyfriend based on looks or things she's done in the past though I do want to focus on the looks part on this topic. But yeah, is it okay to reject a girl/guy as being a girlfriend/boyfriend based on looks even if they are pretty comatible as Christians?
 
dothackzero said:
Basiclly, I'm asking is it okay to not want or want a girlfriend/boyfriend based on looks or things she's done in the past though I do want to focus on the looks part on this topic. But yeah, is it okay to reject a girl/guy as being a girlfriend/boyfriend based on looks even if they are pretty comatible as Christians?
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man looks on the outside

go watch the film "Shallow Hal"
 
Humans tend to be visual people (unless they're blind, I suppose), and so in general they base their opinions off of the aesthetics of things. That doesn't make it right, but it happens.

That being said, "beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears Hashem is to be praised." A woman isn't going to be beautiful forever, and if you base your relationship on looks, it's not going to last. This does not mean you have to marry a woman you find to be ugly, but you shouldn't hold out for some bombshell beauty either. If you happen to end up with a bombshell beauty, then cool beans. If you happen to end up with an average Jane, though, don't be disappointed.
 
Well, a person who bases their opinion on looks is often defined as shallow. But what attributes aren't? If I'm only attracted to intelligent women, isn't that just as shallow as being attracted to pretty women? Now, I would argue that it's wiser to base one's attractions on things that will last. But don't feel bad if you don't have an initial attraction to a girl, just because she isn't what you see as attractive. God gives each man (and woman) different tastes. He may have given you rare tastes that will attract you to a rare person that He has planned for you. Who knows?
 
it's fine to be looking at looks.. but just remember Jesus didn't come down here saying "okayy so where are all the pretty people" ...true love is when you dont care about the appearances, that you would care for them no matter what. i mean would you date a chick that was smooookin hot BUT she hated God and never brushed her teeth? or with an okay girl but LOVED the Lord and had pearly white teeth?! all I'm saying is that.. i would try looking for girls that have a huge heart for God, cuz if you find one and stick with her? God will bless you with her either to start wearing make up or whatever lol
 
yeah but you said in another thread that the girls in the christian club do not interest you but you know NOTHING about them

that must mean you made the decision just based on looks

AND THAT means that you only want to befriend a girl on the basis that she is a possible partner and as soon as you decide she is not then the friendship is over
 
I am not concerned not concerned about looks. I want a guy who is a Christian, puts God above everything, and will love me and my child, open doors, and treat me like a princess. I would not be concerned what he looked like or his skin color. I think it is ok to say that your girlfriend is baeutiful or your boyfriend is handsome but I think it is wrong to judge someone based on their looks. Do you think God judges you by your looks? God created everyone differently, everyone has their own unique personality and looks. Unless I am wrong.
 
wel i dont tink god want sus 2 b al ugly he wants us 2 b al gud in appearance but 1 ting shud b made sure dat v give utmost importance 2 our appearance only instead of God
 
I agree

But too many men do not have self-control or patience to see how their life could be blessed by someone that you are describing. They only see the temporal, the material, they don't see the spiritual or the way life could be blessed on earth by being with someone who fears the Lord

And alot of men will not encourage a woman who fears the Lord. Maybe they feel threatened? Where are all the humble, strong men in the world

yoej_ogart said:
it's fine to be looking at looks.. but just remember Jesus didn't come down here saying "okayy so where are all the pretty people" ...true love is when you dont care about the appearances, that you would care for them no matter what. i mean would you date a chick that was smooookin hot BUT she hated God and never brushed her teeth? or with an okay girl but LOVED the Lord and had pearly white teeth?! all I'm saying is that.. i would try looking for girls that have a huge heart for God, cuz if you find one and stick with her? God will bless you with her either to start wearing make up or whatever lol
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It is hard for women to deal with men who are not Christians and how they judge women by her body and her looks. I think that men who are beleivers need to step up and say it is not about whether or not a girl has a nice body or is nice looking it is about her heart. I feel the same way about women to. We need to not be concerned whether or not a guy is fine, muscular, bald, whatever. Who careS what he or she looks like focus on the heart of the person and if they are following Gods will in their lives. Do you really think that when we leave this earth and go to heaven it is going to matter what we look like?
 
Well just keep in mind the disclaimer:

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart - Matthew 5:28

BUT being tempted in itself is not a sin, is what you do with it which could make it one.
When choosing your partner just make sure you're don't rush to judge on that person's qualities... but by rejecting any partner it doesn't mean you're condemning them, just follow your heart and be of good intentions. :)
 
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Dothack, don't take this the wrong way, but I think you need to be looking for and working on a LOT more things than a girl right now. Until you can be comfortable being who you are, nobody else is going to be comfortable being around you. Focus all this energy you have focused on getting girls and getting spiritual gifts and focus it ALL on God right now. Become a stable person with stable emotions and a stable foundation in Christ,then start working on everything else. You are trying to build your temple from the roof instead of from the ground.
 
Dot let me ask you this.

What qualities do YOU have that you think girls would find attractive?
 
Looks fade ,no matter how beautiful you are.But when you love someone from the inside they are beautiful no matter how old and wrinkly or even unattractive they may be to the world.
 
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