Is that an adultary? And how to deal with it?

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JAB

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I need an advice from my brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ:

We have been in love for 8 years, and married for almost 4 years, and we have a wonderful 2 years son. I never had a doubt about the love of my wife or her fidelity, especially that she is a good Christian and a strong believer. Few months ago, she added an old friend of her (who is not a Christian) to her facebook account, and they started talking regularely. She started ignoring me in bed and passing her evenings on her cell phone, she kept saying that they are only friends, that she loves me and that we are one and united by our Lord...

two weeks ago, I had a problem with my cell phone and I asked to borrow her phone, she was not happy about it and she took few minutes texting and doing things on her phone. I figured out that she deleted all her conversation with this man before giving me the phone. I started having doubt and I began to monitor her phone whenever I can (Which I know it might be wrong, but I did it to protect my marriage and my family)...

I found out that this guy is telling my wife that he loves her, he wants to always be with her and asking her to send naked pictures for her body. Although she didn't do so, and she didn't tell him she does love him too, she didn't try to stop him seriously and she's still talking to him, taking it as a joke and laughing about it...

As a Christian, I am not sure what to do. Is she cheating and committing adultery? Is she being weak and need my support? Do I wait and see where she will go with it? Do I confront her and tell her she's not being a faithful to her family and to God? Do I tell her that I forgive her and I want to help her and not to judge her? I am not sure what is the best thing to do here, but I am sure that I want us to grow old together, and to raise a Christian family ...

Thanks and God bless :)
 
Brother, I believe you should talk this out with her. Don't jump hard on her, but tell her about your concern for her. If she lashes out on you, it is a high possibility something is up. If she is willing to discuss it and talk about it, then have her give you the time to talk. A relationship is never about yourself, it's about your partner and making them happy. If you feel that you don't want her to communicate with this man out of jealous reasons and the things you find inappropriate, she should be talked into it for the sake of you and her marriage. If she refuses, she's holding back from you. In relationships, sometimes people sacrifice for each other, that's what love does. If she truly loves you, she would be willing to sacrifice this friend for your family, your marriage, and for you.
 
Hi Jab, I totally agree with spokenpassage. You need to sort this out and the quicker the better. Re-iterate your Christian beliefs to her and what marriage means to you. Marriage is based on trust and fidelity. I pray that everything goes well for you.
 
Emotional adultery. Flattered by his attention. He is
leading her on. She is YOUR wife. I would not be alive
if I had that going on. My husband would literally take
the phone away. You know she is going to be angry as
in the way a child would be if you take their toy. Sadly,
she is an adult. You do need some guidance. Go to the
Pastor ( if you can trust him ) and let at least one person
know what is going on and let them be there to walk you
through the process of elimination. By that I mean... they
need to know what is going on, and how you are reacting.
I can't believe she would even want a creep like that to ask
her to do something so horrible. God bless you and I will be
praying for you. This is truly work of satan. God is greater.
God help her eyes to be opened. ~ J~K~2
 
Thank you bothers, I really needed your prayers and your advices ...

I did talk to her without being hard on her, I reminded her about our Christian beliefs and what does marriage means to us. I than told her about my concerns regarding our family and our marriage before telling her that I know what was going with her lately with that man.

She admitted that she did something wrong, but she didn't mean it and she was not planning to cheat or go with what this man wanted her to do. She said that the reason why she didn't tell me because she was afraid that I think she's not being faithful, and she was supposed to stop him instead of taking it as a joke.

She asked me if she lost my trust. I said no, but I told her that this is the work of Satan, and it's my right but more my responsibility to defend our family and our marriage because we are united on the name of God. We agreed that this friendship with this messenger of Satan must get to an end, and she did delete him from her contact lists.

However, I think it is wise to keep an open eye for a while, as the Satan work will not finish here, and we need to keep fighting it by our faith, prayers and love, and by the blessing of our Lord.

God bless !!
 
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